Boyfriends, remember?
by thekatthatbarks
Summary: In an attempt to get Castiel's family to stop setting him up, Dean agrees to pretend to be Cas's boyfriend for an evening. But when circumstances force the boys to continue their fake relationship, can they continue to deny their feelings for one another? And does all of Cas's family approve of Dean?
1. What are friends for?

"Cas," Dean groaned as he pointlessly tried to rub out the fresh worry lines on his forehead. He had thought after an old girlfriend making him try on her pink silk satin panties, he'd never feel more awkward. Well, his current best friend was definitley challenging that. "Is that why you took me to this nice restaurant? To butter me up?"

Cas looked at him in desperation his hands clasped together, "Please, Dean! It's just one night, barely two hours. Then, I'll never ask anything of you ever again."

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but the waitress came with their orders, "Steak dinner for the big guy and double cheese burger for the cutie in the trench coat. Anything else?"

"No, that will be all. Thank you," Castiel dismissed her politely without looking away from Dean. Dean narrowed his eyes at the overly flirtatious waitress as she winked at Castiel before walking away. Castiel didn't pay her any attention, though.

"Hey, maybe you should ask her," Dean threw his thumb over his shoulder in the direction the waitress went, before starting in on his steak, "She seems more than willing."

Castiel sighed, "My family knows of my," his eyes shifted away awkwardly before continuing, "preferences. They have tried repeatedly to set me up with lawyers and doctors from well brought up families. If I have to sit through another blind date with a character like Balthazar, who arrogantly can't stop talking about his many achievements in life, I will go insane. Please, Dean, help me. If they think I'm taken, they'll stop."

Dean eyed his plate chewing thoughtfully, avoiding Castiel's pleading gaze. He was going to break and he knew it. He couldn't deny Cas anything when he was begging like that, but he really didn't want to do this. "Cas, even if I do this, do you really think your family will be happy with a guy like me dating their son? Hell, they'll probably try even harder to find you a more suitable partner."

Cas looked at him sadly, "Dean, I don't understand why you think so low of yourself. Working towards a degree in architecture and design is highly admirable. Besides, I'm sure my family will respect whoever I decide to bring home, regardless of occupation."

Dean was doubtful of that, but his last will of self preservation was long gone as Cas's blue eyes pleaded him. He groaned in defeat, "Fine, but just this once. I'm not doing this again, Cas. I don't do parents even in real relationships."

A wide grin broke across Cas's face and reached across the table and grabbed Dean's hand and squeezed it tightly, "Thank you so much, Dean. It means a lot to me."

"Sure, Cas," Dean pulled his hand away already feeliing like he was going to regret all of this. He cleared his throat and dug back into his meal, "What are friends for." Cas smiled at him and turned back to his food as well.

Yeah, what are friends for if not to pretend to be your best friend's boyfriend in front of his whole family? Dean was not looking forward to Friday night having dinner with Cas's family role playing as a couple. Dean didn't really want to see Cas's family's disappointment when they met him. He was well aware of what kind of people the Novaks surrounded themselves with and Dean's payroll was nowhere near what those people made. He didn't know much about the Novaks or the many siblings. He just didn't want the Novaks to give Cas any shit about dating him, even if it wasn't real. Cas was his best friend and he cared about the guy. He could do this for him. He just hoped he wouldn't screw it up.

"You look," Cas's wide eyes raked up and down Dean's body, "nice." Dean was dressed in a maroon button up shirt and his best fitting jeans. It was the most formal clothing he could find in his closet and he had been pretty satisfied with his findings when he left his apartment. But looking at Cas in his black slacks and blue tie, he was starting to rethink. But Castiel didn't comment any further, walking back into the apartment looking for his coat, leaving Dean at the door.

"You didn't say it was formal or anything, so," Dean followed Castiel to find him in the small den, shrugging into his tan trench coat, "Are you sure this is okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine, Dean. I just don't have any more casual clothes clean at the moment."

Dean laughed, "Really, Cas? Too lazy to take your clothes to the laundromat?"

"Not lazy, just procrastinate the annoying task," Castiel corrected as they walked in the parking lot towards Dean's Impala.

Dean blared Metallica music loudly on the drive to the Novak household, and even though Castiel wasn't too fond of it he didn't say anything because he knew it was calming for Dean. Castiel understood Dean's nerves. He was wondering himself how they were going to pull this off.

"Holy shit, Cas," Dean let out a whistle as he parked in front of the enormous house. It was twice the size of his parents' and their's was a two story. "I knew you were loaded but damn."

Cas sighed beside him, "Yes, well as beautiful as the house may be, I prefer the Winchesters' home more comforting."

Dean looked at him sadly, but before he could comment, Cas was out of the car. From what Castiel had told him, Dean knew that Cas felt that he didn't really fit in with his family. He had said that he just felt too different from them. Unlike his older siblings who had perused medical careers and other wealthy positions, Castiel was an art major. Cas had told him that even though his mother assured him it was his choice, they looked at him strangely after that. Dean didn't really see Cas's family as shallow, but was sure they liked to have the best of everything.

Castiel walked to the door slowly as if trying to extend the time before he had to see his family with Dean by his side. Castiel paused in front of the door, but made no movement for the doorbell.

"Hey," Dean whispered and slipped his hand into Cas's, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles, "It's gonna be fine, Cas."

Cas nodded his head and glanced at their intertwined fingers and back at Dean with a slight question in his eyes. Dean just winked at him, "Boyfriends, remember?" and rang the doorbell.

"Right," Cas's shoulders slumped, instantly relaxed with Dean's touch. The door swung open and Dean felt Cas squeeze his hand subconsciously as a short man beamed at both of them.

"Well, hey there, Cassie. Who's tall lean and handsome? You the one shacking up with my brother?"

Dean gapped at the guy front of him wiggling his eyebrows suggestively with a smirk that Dean guessed was a constant on the man's face. He didn't exactly know how to respond to that. He glanced at Castiel beside him, who was glaring at the guy.

"Gabriel," Cas drew out frustrated, "This is my boyfriend, Dean. Dean, my brother Gabriel. I would appreciate you to restrain from using terms such as shacking up. It's inappropriate."

Dean plastered a charming smile on his face and held out his free hand, "Nice to meet you."

Gabriel didn't lose his smirk, but shook Dean's hand. "Strong grip. Please come inside," Gabriel released Dean and stepped aside, dramatically bowing for them to enter. They crossed the threshold hand in hand and Dean should have known then that everything was about to be the change.

They discarded their coats and followed Gabriel through the white paneled halls. Dean couldn't help but marvel at the Novaks' home. It was beautiful. The floors were marble and abstract works of art covered the walls. The one term that rang in Dean's ears was expensive. With the small decorative figurines that seemed to be everywhere, Dean felt like a kid in a museum, encouraged to look, but never to touch.

Gabriel led them to the living room where the rest of Castiel's family was waiting. Dean took a sharp intake of breath at the number of the people in the room. He knew that Cas had a lot of siblings, but were there really that many? There was six other men in the room and two small women. They were chatting amiably with each other, but the talk quieted to murmurs as the trio strolled in. Dean, for the first time tonight, felt a bundle of nerves rolling in his stomach.

"Everyone, may I introduce Cassie's prince charming here, Dean," Gabriel gestured and everyone's eyes shifted to Dean expectantly.

Dean nodded at them, "Hi, I'm Dean. It's nice to meet you all." That sounded really nervous, even to Dean. He could be quite charming when he wanted to be. He didn't know what it was about the Novaks that made him feel like he was in highschool picking up Cassie Robinson for prom again.

There were small hellos and polite smiles thrown at Dean, before they quickly went back to their conversations. Dean let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding and Castiel's hand slipped back into his comfortingly like Dean had done earlier. It was funny how it came so easily and felt natural to them both. The older of the two women made her way to where Dean and Cas were standing with a wide smile. She was blonde and her black heels clicked against the floor. Dean assumed she was Mrs. Novak.

"Castiel, it's so good to see you," she greeted Castiel with a hug that she then gave to Dean, "And Dean, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm Rebecca Novak, Castiel's mother. I've heard a lot about you from Castiel, but I never knew you two were so close."

Dean chuckled, "I guess you could say we danced around it for a long time." He figured that was a vague enough lie. He glanced at Castiel before turning back to Rebecca, "Hope you haven't heard anything bad."

Rebecca laughed, her eyes flickering between the two, "No, all good things."

A man with a scruffy beard cleared his throat and everyone gave him their attention, "Naomi tells me dinner is ready."

Dean figured giving the authoritative voice it was Castiel's father. Everyone followed after him to the dining room. Dean sat at the edge of the table with Cas on his left and a red haired girl across from him. They ate dinner, the family making small talk with each other, who was doing what, who married who, and barely anyone even acknowledged Dean until halfway through dinner.

"So, Deano," Gabriel called from further down the table, loud and disruptive, "What do you do? You a color by numbers like Cassie?"

Dean met his eyes and saw that everyone's were on him, waiting his answer. He felt Castiel stiffen beside him, his eyes cold glaring at his brother.

"No, I'm in architecture and design," Dean answered, uncomfortable under the curious gazes on him.

Gabriel made a noise of approvement and seemed to have initiated the string of questions that soon followed.

The clean cut guy that was on Mr. Novak's right at the head of the table spoke, "Sounds like a successful career. Do you have any idea where you'll work after college?"

"No, not yet. I only have two years under my belt, though. Guess I haven't thought that far yet."

"At least you can do something with a degree in architecture," a man from the other side of the table said in a deep voice and the room grew quiet, "Not like ceramics."

"Raphael," Rebecca scolded from beside him in a warning tone. He rolled his eyes, but didn't say anymore and continued eating. Dean looked at Castiel who avoided his worried gaze and kept his eyes on his plate. Cas must get a lot of those kind of snides by the expressions of everyone in the room. Cas looked like he was used to it in the submission of his shoulders and that was what set Dean off. Cas didn't deserve to be talked down to like that. Dean didn't care if the guy was his brother.

"Actually, Ralph," he spoke as he took a sip of the wine and everyone turned their heads to him in shock, "Cas is a painter. So, taking a class that has to do with sculpting pots out of clay would be pointless. Cuz that's what ceramics is if you didn't know. Cas's major is studio arts and he's even had several pieces displayed in the art gallery."

There was several snickers heard from behind hands and downright laughter from Gabriel. Raphael's face looked like he wished he could smite Dean where he stood. Cas's was just in complete bewilderment and awe. He didn't say anything, though, and Dean wondered if he had crossed a line. But he was reassured as the corners of Cas's mouth turned up into a small smile.

The girl across from Dean who had looked dull and bored all night, face perked up and she leaned towards Castiel, "Really, Castiel? You have pieces in the art gallery? Which one?'

Castiel grinned at her and Dean could tell he was fond of his sister, "The Cider Gallery."

"That's great, Castiel. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Anna."

Dean decided Anna was an okay character, not like the others who were more interested in their doctor friends. Her and Castiel continued to talk and Dean just quietly listened until something sparked his interest from the older brothers' conversation.

"I heard Balthazar just bought a new summer home in Italy."

"Italy? God, doesn't the guy have a giant mansion in California? What's he need a house in Italy for?" Gabriel scoffed.

Michael raised his glass, "Well, when you work as hard as he does, you deserve houses in foreign countries. They gave him another raise at the firm."

Rebecca nodded, "Yes, Balthazar is a fine man."

Dean frowned as he felt something churn in his stomach. He felt uneasy about the conversation, but he didn't know why. Before Dean could shift his attention else where, Gabriel caught his eyes and gave him a mischievous smirk.

"Cassie, you went on a date with ol' Baltzy didn't ya?"

Castiel looked taken aback by the question and he glanced at Dean. "Well, uh, yeah, but it was just once."

"So, who's a better kisser? Deano or Baltzy?"

Castiel almost chocked on his food and opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it, his lips set in a hard line. Gabriel grinned like it was the reaction he had been going for.

"Oh, come on, Cassie. I mean you guys have kissed before right since you're a couple and all."

"Of course," Castiel said too quickly and Gabriel noticed, but didn't comment. Dean could tell, though. Gabriel was starting to pick up on the not-too-couply vibe from them.

Rebecca tried to steer the conversation to something more appropriate for the dinner table, "Lucifer, how is the hospital treating you? Do you feel overworked?"

"Well,..." and with that the siblings didn't give any more attention to Dean and Castiel's relationship for the remainder of the night.

It was the end of the night and most of the siblings had wandered off to their rooms, but some stayed to say their goodbyes to Dean and Castiel in the foyer; Castiel's parents and Gabriel.

"It was a nice evening. Thank you for coming, Dean," Rebecca hugged him and then her son.

"Sure, thank you for welcoming me into my home."

Mr. Novak, who Dean never caught the first name, said goodnight and walked up the stairs with his wife, leaving only Gabriel. He had been quiet since his uncomfortable question at dinner and had a quizzical expression.

"You know, you two don't seem very intimate to me. You haven't even touched each other all night," Gabriel raised his eyebrows at the distance between Dean and Castiel.

"Um, well," Castiel searched his mind for a response, but Gabriel stepped closer and interrupted his excuse.

"And bringing a fake date seems just like the kind of thing you would do to get mother off your back."

"Listen, Gabriel," Castiel started looking a little pale, "Dean is not a fake date."

"Uh huh," Gabriel said unconvinced, "Then prove it to me right now."

"Prove?"

"Yeah, kiss," Gabriel spoke with a smirk. When Castiel didn't respond he continued, "See, I knew it. Wonder what mother will do now, knowing you tried such a tactic. Probably punish you with an arranged marriage."

Castiel sighed and looked defeated, "Okay -"

But Dean cut him off, grabbing Castiel's surprised face and pressing their lips together. He only meant for it to be a quick kiss, but he felt Cas's lips start to move with his own and he couldn't help but forget the other person in the room. Their lips separated and they met each other's eyes. Cas's cheeks were tinted pink and he looked breathless. His eyes were wide and had a curious look about them, but Dean wasn't sure. They broke apart and Dean turned to Gabriel with a smirk. The guy looked surprised but the smug expression hadn't left his face.

"Cas just isn't overly affectionate in public, Gabriel. You don't have to accuse him," Dean said as he pulled on his jacket.

"Guess not," Gabriel spoke amused, "Well, goodnight. It was a pleasure, Dean."

They walked to the Impala in silence, neither of them not looking the other in the eye. The drive was quiet, but it wasn't comfortable like earlier. It was tense and awkward, so Dean turned up the radio not knowing what to say to Castiel. A few minutes later he pulled up in front of Castiel's apartment building, but Cas didn't move to get out.

Dean sighed and turned down the radio, waiting for Cas to say that Dean had taken it too far and he didn't feel comfortable around him anymore. "Cas, I'm sor-"

Cas cut him off, "Thank you, Dean."

"Uh," Dean's voice shook, wondering what exactly Cas was thanking him for, "Yeah, sure thing, Cas."

"For sticking up for me," Castiel clarified, finally met his eyes and Dean felt something twisting in his stomach as he stared into Castiel's blue eyes, but he couldn't place the emotion, "Raphael is always very condescending and disapproving of my choice in major."

"Yeah, dude's a douch," Dean didn't leave any of his dislike for the guy out of his voice.

Castiel chuckled, "Yes, it's hard to put up with him."

They didn't break eye contact and it should have felt awkward, but it wasn't. The moment was intense like they were speaking to each other without saying anything, but Dean couldn't hear what Cas was trying to tell him. He felt something warm and secure sitting there with Cas in the cab. The kiss flashed through his mind and he looked at Cas's lips. He'd never noticed how pink they were and he remembered how they had been rough along with Cas's stubble. But Dean couldn't bring himself to say he hadn't enjoyed it. Suddenly, he was brought back to reality and realized how close him and Castiel had gotten and he could feel Cas's hot breath on his face.

Cas glanced at Dean's lips and back to his apple green eyes. Dean could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He leaned closer, without thinking and something flashed across Castiel's eyes, but Dean didn't catch it before Cas turned away grabbing the door handle. "Really, Dean, thank you for tonight. I'll be sure to make it up to you," he said quickly and left the car, strutting towards his apartment.

Dean looked after him wondering what the hell had just happened. After he lost view of Castiel, he pulled out headed for his own place. The whole drive, Dean felt uneasy like something important had happened that night and changed between him and Castiel. He shook it and told himself he had just been helping his best friend out. Nothing had changed. And if it had, he didn't know what he was going to do about it.


	2. Gabriel had a wonderful idea

The next few days, they went back to how they were before and everything was normal, except they both knew it wasn't. Something had changed between them, but neither of them talked about it. The distance between them had all but disappeared. When they played video games, they sat close beside each other on the couch their arms brushing against each other, even though there was enough room to put another person between them. And moments like that night where they would just stare into each other's eyes kept happening. Dean found himself thinking a lot more about black sex hair and blue eyes than the beautiful girls that he had picked up the week before. He didn't like to think about what it meant, though. How his skin tingled after accidentally touching Cas or how he wanted to be around the guy all the time. He even found himself jealous at times, when people stared a little longer than necessary at Cas, but he'd never admit it. It made his stomach have that twisted feeling again and he hated it. But besides the obvious change in their relationship, they pretended nothing had happened.

Dean was cooking cheeseburgers as Cas was trying to wash off paint on his arms. Dean had been coming over more often to Cas's apartment and found himself there a lot. Castiel had joked that he should just move in already. But Dean had replied he just needed to make sure he didn't burn the place down because he was a horrible cook. He was grabbing a beer out of the fridge, when he heard someone knocking on the door. Cas yelled at him to get it and grumbling he trudged for the door.

He opened it and his eyes widened at the small woman on the other side. She looked taken aback, not expecting Dean, but smiled, nonetheless, "Why, hello there, Dean. Is Castiel home?"

"Uh," Dean stepped aside letting her in, "Yes, he's washing paint off his arms, he was working on an art piece."

"Well, being artist is dirty work," Rebecca's smile didn't leave her face, though her eyes expressed her disfavor in Castiel's choice of career.

"Yeah, well, he works hard," Dean replied with a matching fake smile, a little put off by her. That must have been the strange looks Cas had been referring to, a smile with unmatching eyes.

He gestured down the hall, "The living room is through there if you want to wait for him. I'm making dinner so...oh, would you like some? I could cook another patty if you want?" She kind of made him feel uneasy, but it felt rude to not offer.

She shook her head, "No, I ate before I came, but thank you. I'll go wait for Castiel." Her heels clicked across the floor and Dean turned back to the kitchen to save the meal before it burned.

He was scrapping fries onto a plate, when Castiel shuffled in. His hair was wet and turned in every direction and droplets of water ran down his neck. He must've decided to take a shower. Dean could smell his honey scented shampoo and turned back to cooking to distract himself.

"That paint was a bitch to get off. I had to take a shower. Who was at the door?" he reached for a fry and thought better of it seeing the steam still coming off them.

"Your mother," Dean raised his eyebrows and Cas's expression turned to fear, "Did you know she was coming by?"

"No, what the hell is she doing here? She's never come to visit."

"Well, she's waiting for you in the living room," Dean nodded towards the hall.

Cas groaned and ventured off to find his mother unsurprisingly snooping around his living room. She was staring at a painting on the wall, one Castiel had made his freshman year.

She turned to him in acknowledgement but quickly returned back to the painting, "Castiel, what is this?"

"An angel."

Rebecca made a sad expression, "Why is he dead?"

"The assignment was 'tragic love story'. I drew an angel falling from grace. He fell in love with the human and rebelled against Heaven when they wanted to use him as a weapon. He saved him, but in the process he died."

Rebecca nodded sadly not looking away from the painting. The angel lay on gravel his clothes disheveled and a knife gripped in his hand. His black wings were scorched onto the ground and his lover cried beside him glaring at the clouds above him. Rebecca spoke softly, "That's beautiful that you can convey all of that in a single image. Did you recently draw this?"

"No," he tilted his head confused, "Why?"

She smiled and unconvincingly said, "Oh, no reason." She glanced back at the painting, the green eyes that had caught her attention, drowning in tears screaming at her, before settling on the couch. Castiel made a move to sit beside her, staring at her like she was a different person. She had never taken an interest in his art before, not since he started being serious about it in highschool. She had thrown medical books, watching Law and Order with him, having his siblings talk to him before finally giving in and telling him he could do whatever he wanted as long as it made him happy. But she still frequently expressed her worries of how he'd ever make money at it.

"Mother, why are you here?"

"Let's wait for Dean," she ignored his question.

Castiel squinted at her wondering as to why Dean was relevant, but before he could ask the devil himself walked in. Dean handed him his plate and a coke and sat in the armchair next to them.

"Okay," Rebecca clasped her hands with an excited grin, "Castiel, you know the family vacation we take every year?"

"Yes," Cas replied confused as to where she was going with this, "It's next week isn't it?"

"Well," Rebecca paused glancing at Dean, "Gabriel had a wonderful idea. Why don't you bring Dean along?"

Dean chocked on his beer as Castiel exclaimed, "What?"

"What?" she parroted innocently and turned to Dean, "I would understand if you don't want to spend time with our crazy family, but I would love for you to come."

Dean was speechless for the woman in front of him with pleading eyes that somehow resembled Castiel's, even though they were a completely different color. He didn't know how to reply, "Hell, no." without offending her and Castiel, with the deer caught in headlights expression, couldn't think of an excuse either.

Rebecca continued her proposition, "It's only a week and this year we're going to Italy. And don't even worry about traveling expenses. Michael owns a private jet. It'll be a fabulous time."

"Um, well, uh, I," Dean stammered trying to come up with a plan to get the hell out of this. One night was enough, but a whole week pretending to be a couple with Castiel? That was too much.

"Dean's afraid of flying," Castiel blurted out.

Rebecca laughed and put a hand on Dean's knee comfortingly, "Oh, honey, I assure you the flight will be safe. If that's the only problem, then we're settled?"

Before either men could respond, Rebecca thought out loud caught up in her excitement, "Oh, and Castiel, we'll get to see Balthazar's new mansion! Won't that be a delight? He'll probably let us even stay a few days."

"Mother, I don't think-" Castiel started off another poor excuse, but Dean interrupted.

"Yeah, okay, I'll go. Thank you for inviting me," Dean said suddenly and Castiel looked at him shocked.

Rebecca stood up and hugged Dean, "Oh, yay! I'm so happy, I'll call with further details." A minute later Mrs. Novak was out of the apartment before Dean could change his mind.

Dean avoided Castiel's gaze. Cas was staring at him, eyebrows knitted together. He was surprised Dean had agreed so quickly and was confused as to why. Hadn't he said that he would never do that again? That sat in silence for a minute before Cas asked, "Why'd you say yes?"

"Well, I couldn't see how we we're going to get out of it," Dean shrugged his shoulders and hoped Castiel bought it.

Cas sighed and stood up and walked out of the room. Dean looked after him at his sudden departure, "Cas?" With no response he got up and followed him towards his bedroom.

Castiel grabbed his cellphone off his bed and swiped at it, "It's fine, Dean. I'll just call her and tell her the truth." He put the phone to his ear and waited for his mother to answer.

Dean crossed the room and grabbed Cas's hand, cutting the call off. Castiel looked at him questionably, "Dean?"

"Cas," Dean sighed, not letting go of Castiel and stared him in the eyes, "No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. It's just one week."

"But-"

"No, really, I'm cool with it," Dean paused, taking a breath, "I mean, you don't want to go on any more blind dates, do you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"Then, it's fine," Dean said, knowing Cas was going to question his sudden readiness to be his fake boyfriend. He didn't know what had came over him, but he did know he felt uneasy about leaving Cas in the hands of Balthazar, the guy sounded like a sleaze.

Castiel sighed defeated and looked down at Dean's hand wound around his own. Dean quickly dropped it and took a step back, realizing how close they were. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and walked out of the room with a lame, "The burgers are getting cold," over his shoulder.

Cas stood there for a minute, already stressing over how they were going to fool his family for a whole week, when Gabriel had suspected something in a mere two hours. He decided to worry about it later and went back to the living room. Dean's burgers really were Heaven.

They packed and made preparations for the impending vacation, but otherwise didn't really mention it. Dean called work and begged Bobby for the week off, which he gave him begrudgingly. Then, he had to call his parents and explain to them why he wouldn't be visting home until later in the summer. Mary had told him to not worry and to have fun, while John asked a lot of questions and told him to not get his ass in any trouble.

Dean needed to go buy luggage as he didn't own anything bigger than an average traveling bag and Castiel offered to go with him since he knew what brands were good. It turns out that the Novaks loved to travel and had been to a lot of foreign countries. Last year as Dean remembered they had gone to Thailand and Korea and the year before England. Dean couldn't help but be a little envious, he had always dreamt of traveling across the country, but no flying, just him, Baby, and the road.

Dean was about to walk out of his apartment headed to Cas's to pick him up, when there was a knock on his door. He opened it to see a familiar friendly face.

"Anna? I'm sorry, but Cas isn't here," he said wondering how the redhead even knew where he lived in the first place.

She shook her head, "Oh, I know. I stopped by his place this morning. It was a short visit, he was in a rush. He forgot about an art exhibition he has to go to today and I volunteered to take you shopping in his place when he mentioned he needed to cancel on you."

"Oh," Dean made a face of disappointment, "Well, I just need some suitcases and a few things. You don't really have to come."

"Oh, it's not a bother. I don't have anything to do today, anyways. If you don't mind my company."

Dean smiled giving in, "Okay, just wait here while I grab my wallet."

Fifteen minutes later and they were running around the mall. Anna took him to her favorite store, Milton's, and Dean was glad Bobby had given him a bonus because it was expensive. He was satisfied, though and was grateful for Anna because the selection for luggage was wider than he had thought and he wouldn't have known what exactly he needed without her.

She helped him carry the luggage back to his car and as the trunk closed she looked at him readily, "Now that that's over with, what's next? Clothes?"

"Um," Dean said suddenly unsure, "Well, I've never been to Italy. Do I need new clothes?"

She eyed his outfit, a black t shirt, jeans with grease spatters and Doc Martens, "Well, it's around seventy degrees most places but it can get down to fifty and it rains a lot. Maybe a few long sleeves and a good jacket?"

He sighed relieved he wouldn't need a lot. His jackets were pretty worn out and he usually walked around in band tees. "Alright, that's not too bad. I could use some nicer clothes, anyways. Gotta look my best walking besides the Novaks," he joked, but only halfheartedly. The Novaks really did always wear really good clothes, besides Castiel, the art student who couldn't care less and had half of his wardrobe covered in paint. But even Cas, had some fancy duds in the back of his closet for special occasions, while Dean would show up to the ball in jeans and a Henley if he was invited.

Anna laughed, "Oh, Dean, you dress fine. As long as Cas can love you in your ratty shirts and oiled jeans, then who cares what anyone else thinks?"

Dean smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Yeah, I guess." It felt wrong to agree with her, because it wasn't true and it churned his stomach. Castiel didn't love him, not like she was saying. They were just friends and that was it. He didn't mind putting on the charade for the rest of the Novaks, but Anna was a sweet girl, and he felt guilty lying to her face.

Not ten seconds into his preferred store to shop and Anna was throwing clothes in his arms. "Anna," he peered his eyes over the heap of clothes in his arms, "I am not buying all of these. You said only a few."

She shoved him towards the dressing rooms, "I know. You're going to try them on and we'll decide which ones look best."

Dean groaned, "I am never shopping with a girl again. If you were Cas, we would have already left the store and be eating right now."

She stopped in front of the dressing rooms and grinned wickedly, "Maybe, but Cas will thank me once he see's how good you look."

Dean rolled his eyes and she pushed him in the small room and closed the door yelling from the other side, "And I want to see them all before you decide no."

Dean reluctantly went along with it, feeling like he was in a chick flick, modeling clothes for Anna. He walked out in a white shirt, totally out of his element liking the darker colors more.

"Really, Anna? White? What, am I a love interest in Days of Our Lives?"

Anna rolled her eyes and gave him a thumbs up, "It looks good against your skin tone. Try the green one next. It'll bring out your eyes, plus it's Castiel's favorite color.'

"Skin tone," Dean scoffed, "Do girls really think about stuff like that? Cas's favorite color is green?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, you didn't know that? What's your's by the way? I didn't even ask before throwing shirts at you."

"Blue," Dean blurted out thinking of the vibrant color that hadn't left his head for days. He soon realized his mistake, though, as Anna held back a snort.

"What?" Dean asked defensive.

"Oh, nothing. Just go back inside," her hand waved him away and he heard her mutter, "Perfect for each other," from the other side of the door, but he could've been wrong.

They left the store after Anna had decided on two green shirts, the white shirt, a blue shirt, and two black shirts because Dean had thrown them in the pile. He decided not to argue with her since she was nice enough to help him out. He found a dark brown leather jacket that he liked in the store over, Purgatory, and it passed the test with Anna so now they sat in the food court. Dean's treat as thanks.

"It was nice getting to know you better, Dean," Anna told him through a mouthful of curly fries.

"Yeah, you too, Anna. You're about the only sibling I can stand."

Anna chuckled, "Yes, well, I guess sometimes my brothers can be a bit prideful and cocky."

"You're older than Cas, right?"

"Yes. Michael and Lucifer are the oldest, their twins, only 32. Then it's Gabriel, 31, Raphael, 29, and then me, 26. Then it's Castiel at 23 and baby Alfie at 21," Anna ticked her siblings off her fingers as she counted off the ages.

"You have a brother named Lucifer?" Dean asked incredulously. He tried to remember, but couldn't put a face to the name, though it did sound familiar. He guessed it just hadn't registered with him at the moment.

"Lucifer was once an angel," she said defensively, they must get that a lot, "Our parents were really religious, when we were little. But they've gotten less involved in the church over the years."

Dean thought about it and it made sense. When he met Castiel four years ago, he had just assumed the name was foreign. He didn't know he was named after an angel. Him and Anna talked for while, her telling him stories from when Cas was little that he found hilarious, before he drove them back to his apartment so she could get her car. He thanked her again before she drove off with a small wave.

That night Dean lay awake in his bed, unable to sleep, a thousand thoughts swarming through his head. He worried about the flight, about deceiving Cas's family, about the asshole, Balthazar, but certain questions kept echoing in his head. If they kept this up, role playing as a couple, what was that going to do to their relationship? How long before one of them took it to far and the other snapped? And was it really just this one vacation or would this be a lie they told for years? He just didn't want to screw it up, any of it. Cas was his best friend and he didn't have a lot of friends. He couldn't lose him. But things had changed between them and Dean wasn't sure it was for the better. He didn't know what he was feeling, but he didn't want it to wreck their friendship so he tried to get a hold of himself and willed himself to sleep, telling himself to find the answers another day.


	3. It's scary at first

"Dean," Castiel grabbed his shoulders and looked him dead in the eye, "It's going to be fine. I'll be there the whole time."

Dean laughed unconvincingly, avoiding Cas's knowing eyes, "What? I know that. I'm not like scared or anything. Just a stupid plane."

Cas pulled away and raised an eyebrow, "Really? Then, why is your knee shaking?"

"Excitement," Dean smiled but it came out like a question and he wasn't fooling Castiel.

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Yeah? If you're not shaking your knee, you're wearing holes into my floor with your pacing. Dean, calm down."

Dean put his head into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, "How long is the flight again?"

"It's about fifteen hours. We're landing in Venice."

Dean groaned and Castiel sighed. He knelt in front of him on his knees and pulled Dean's hands away from his face, taking them in his hands. "Dean," he spoke softly never leaving Dean's eyes, "It. Will. Be. Fine. You can plug in your earphones and listen to Metallica or Led Zeppelin, or whatever. We'll both have our ipods. If you want, I could even give you something to sedate you for the whole flight. I'll have them with me. It's whatever you want to do."

Dean stared into Cas's open blue eyes and felt his fears melt away. Castiel would be next to him the whole time and the thought made him feel a hell of a lot better, though he would never admit it. Dean looked down and saw Cas was still holding his hands, rubbing his thumbs over them soothingly. It really was comforting and Dean felt himself relax. He gave Cas a small smile and stood up, embarrassed of his childish fear, and mumbled, "Yeah, I know. Thanks, Cas. I was just being stupid. Don't worry about me."

Dean walked out of the room towards the kitchen, leaving Cas. He frowned after him, wishing Dean knew it was okay to not act like a macho man all the time. He sighed looking over their acquired luggage in the living room floor. Dean had brought his over, so they could go to the airport together. Castiel sat on the couch going through a mental checklist making sure they hadn't forgot anything. He had wanted to take his paints, but knew it would just be a hassle and he wouldn't have time anyways, so he had settled with a sketch pad in his carry on.

Dean walked back into the room with a bag of chips and slumped down onto the couch next to Castiel. Cas turned to him, remembering something, "Oh, hey, I never asked, how did shopping with Anna go?"

Dean's cheeks reddened, remembering ridiculously modeling for Anna, "Oh, it was great. Anna's a nice girl. She picked out the luggage. I had no idea what to get."

"Yes, well she loves shopping. She insisted on being my substitute when I mentioned it."

"How was your art exhibit?"

"We displayed our spring work. Professor Missouri called it 'Spring Cleaning'. It was really stressful and unnerving, watching people judge your work, especially the critics and art directors."

"Ah, I'm sure they loved your stuff, Cas. You're an amazing artist. Did any of the curators want your work?"

Cas shook his head, "The exhibit doesn't end for a few more days. I'll get a call if any of them do, until then I wait." Castiel looked unsure, although he had curators buy his stuff before, he could never be certain if he'd be as lucky. Dean guessed it would always be a worry if people liked your work or not.

He patted him on the shoulder, "You'll get the call. Don't think about it."

"Thanks, Dean," Cas's face cracked into a smile.

Dean grinned back and leaped up, "Okay, let's get this over with. We're supposed to be there at four. Wouldn't want the plane to leave without us, that would just suck," Dean said sarcastically.

Castiel laughed at his hopeful face, "Nice try, Dean, but it's a private plane. They would wait for our arrival."

Dean slung a bag over his shoulder, "Damn your rich family."

Castiel chuckled and helped him load their luggage into the Impala. On their way to the airport, Dean's phone rang. Though Castiel gave him a disapproving look, he answered it in the middle of traffic.

"Hello?"

"Dean, I heard you were going to Italy?" Sam's incredulous voice rang out on the other line.

"Yeah, Cas's family sleeps on bags of money and invited me. Sorry, I forgot to tell you about it."

"So, you're flying there?" Sam laughed.

"Yeah well can't exactly drive across an ocean now can I, Sammy?"

"You on a plane? I gotta hear how that works out. Have Cas call me if you have a panic attack and die. I want pictures."

"Shut up, bitch. At least I'm not scared of a guy covered in makeup holding an animal balloon."

"Whatever. Have a safe flight, jerk."

"Later, Sammy," he hung up the phone as he searched for a parking spot.

After a moment, Cas said, "You know coulrophobia is just as irrational a fear as acrophobia."

"Oh yeah, clowns kill as many people as planes do," Dean grumbled getting out of the car.

"There's a one in a eleven million chance of being killed in a plane crash."

"Comforting," Dean said as they rolled their luggage.

The plane was fancy with red velvet seats and champagne sitting on ice. It was spacious and made Dean feel less claustrophobic, unlike the flight he had to take as a kid stuck in the middle seat between two bickering old women. Dean sat next to Castiel who took the window seat beside him. The seats were spread out and there was even a lounging area with a couch and a flat screen TV. But Dean would rather be away from everyone and Castiel told him he could sit wherever he was more comfortable.

The family had welcomed Dean and said they were happy he could come, well mostly everyone. Raphael had just glared at him, before climbing onto the plane, but Dean couldn't give a rat's ass what he thought. Gabriel had teased him about his fear of flying, while Michael reassurred him he hired the best pilot money could buy and there wouldn't be any trouble.

Dean had almost relaxed before the plane started to ascend and he gripped the arm rest, humming Metallica until the plane balanced out. Raphael had caught sight of his shaken state and snickered, passing by to the lounge area and he had half a mind to flip him off, but Castiel's hand rested over his. He sighed, feeling instant comfort and intertwined their fingers, without second thought, just knowing Cas's touch was relaxing. Dean thought Cas would give him weird look or comment, but he didn't say anything. He just gazed out the window, his thumb rubbing soothing circles again, a habbit Dean thought he could get used to and he instantly shook the thought away as fast as it had came.

A few minutes later, Michael walked over and rested against the back of Dean's chair, "See, it's not so bad."

"Yeah, I guess not," Dean breathed.

"And as long as you have my brother as a crutch, I'm sure you'll be fine," Michael nodded towards their hands and Castiel tore his eyes away from the window like he had barely noticed Michael's presence.

"Well, what can I say? He's alleviating," Dean gave a shrug, knowing he wasn't lying. He didn't turn to see Cas's reaction, though. But they were pretending to be a couple, right? Dean could get away with stuff like that and let Cas wonder where the line between truth and lies really was.

Michael smiled, "Well, enjoy your flight. If you need anything, the flight attendant, Hester, will get it for you."

Dean nodded at him as he walked back to his seat near the front and reclined his chair all the way settling in. He figured Michael wasn't such a bad guy. Most of the Novaks weren't, though. As long as they weren't a dick like Raphael, Dean could put up with any of Cas's siblings, even Gabriel as obnoxious as the guy was.

"Dean," Castiel whispered beside him, dragging him out of thoughts. Dean turned to him and their faces were inches apart, but it didn't phase Castiel. He pointed out the window, "Do you want to look? It's scary at first, but you won't regret it."

Dean hesitated before leaning closer to Castiel, peering out the window. It was sort of terrifying, realizing how high up they were, but then he couldn't take his eyes off the earth below them. It was kind of breathtaking. The fields looked so green from up here and they looked like patchwork the further they got away from the city, shifting between different shades of green and brown. The roads were long and curvy with little colorful dots that were cars. The small areas of water looked like puddles and the clouds, they were thick and smoky. Dean rested his head next to Castiel's, looking out the window with him.

After a moment, he said almost inaudible, "Yeah, it's beautiful."

Castiel could feel Dean's breath against his skin and it sent shivers down his spine. With Dean beside him, he eased deeper into the cushion feeling complacent. He didn't know what it was about Dean that made him feel so warm inside, but he didn't unwelcome the feeling. He did know that after their kiss, that he had started feeling something different around Dean. He figured the emotion had always been there rooted, but it was beginning to sprout and Castiel didn't know if he wanted to water it and let it grow or not. He didn't know if there'd be thorns.

Dean never asked for the sedatives nor pulled out his ipod. Castiel anchored him enough to where he didn't need them. As the sky went dark outside, Castiel slumped onto Dean's shoulder slipping into a deep sleep, his breathing becoming more steady. Dean adjusted himself so Castiel would be more comfortable and Hester came by offering a blanket. He tucked it in around Cas and Castiel responded by snuggling closer, wrapping his arm around Dean's. But Dean knew Castiel only acted like that because he was unconscious and didn't take into consideration who he was curling up next to. He knew that, but leaned into the embrace, nonetheless.

Dean drifted off himself and woke up in the blanket that had been draped around Castiel and a small pillow behind his head. He looked around, not feeling Cas huddled against him anymore. He was leaned against the window with his knee up, no longer attached to Dean's arm, and was sketching intently on a pad, his eyebrows knitted together in concentration. Dean yawned stretching himself out. He discarded the blanket and pillow and peeked out the window. The sky was a hazy yellow melting into pink, early morning.

"Hey, what time is it?" he asked Cas drowsily.

Castiel didn't look up from his drawing, absorbed in the paper, "Around six? We should be landing in three to four more hours."

Dean glanced at Castiel, wondering what he was drawing so intently but he didn't have a clear view. Curiosity killed him after watching the guy draw for five minutes straight without a pause, "What are you drawing?"

"Something I couldn't get out of my head," Castiel replied vaguely not really answering the question. But Dean knew better than to look, if Cas didn't offer. Sure, he showed his work and displayed it, but not all of it. Some things were private in sketch pads that piled up in Cas's bedroom. Castiel's art was very personal to him and Dean didn't want to be invasive so he didn't pry.

They finally landed around ten o' clock and Dean could kiss the ground. He'd never been happier to be on land and Gabriel laughed at his relief as they soon left it again. They took a water taxi to their hotel, which took up a whole island and was the nicest hotel Dean had ever stayed at, the San Clemente Palace. Their luggage had already arrived and had been put in their rooms.

In the lobby, Rebecca tossed two key cards to Dean and Castiel, "Your room is on the second floor. I think we're all a bit jet lagged, so I'll see you at diner tonight. For now, I'm going to go rest." She smiled at them and walked away with her husband's arm hooked through her's.

Their room was amazing as Dean expected with the luxuriousness of the hotel. The furniture was mahogany and various art pieces covered the halls. Their windows were wide and looked out over the lagoon. Dean turned to Castiel, "God, when you guys go on vacation, you go all out."

Castiel chuckled, looking for a change of clothes in his luggage, "Yeah, I guess we do." He changed in the bathroom and came back out to see Dean sprawled out face down across the bed.

"This mattress is awesome," Dean's muffled voice told Castiel as he lied down next to him.

"You're so easily pleased," Cas said staring up at the ceiling.

Dean looked up at Castiel smirking and opened his mouth to retort when something dawned on him. He glanced around the room and then back to Cas, "Did...did they just give us one bed?"

"Oh," Cas looked at the bed realizing it, too, "I guess since we're supposed to be a couple it makes sense."

There was an awkward silence before Cas continued not looking at Dean, "Well, hey, the bed's massive and there's not a couch, so..."

"I could take the floor," Dean offered which made Castiel frown.

"Dean, don't be ridiculous. We're both adults. I think I can control myself and not attack you in your sleep."

"I'm not worried about you violating me, Cas," Dean made a serious face, he hadn't meant to offend him, "I just, uh, don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You could never make me uncomfortable, Dean," Cas smiled sincerely and hopped off the bed. He grabbed the room service menu and held it up, "I don't know about you, but I'm starved. Do you wanna order something?"

"Yeah, whatever you want is fine. I wouldn't know what to order, anyways."

Dean listened to Castiel order on the phone in fluent Italian and he felt something stir inside him at the thought of sharing a bed with Cas. His heartbeat sped up as he thought of Castiel being in arm's reach for a whole night. But before his imagination could get to him, he shoved the feeling down. Dean was starting to think he was really screwed and let out a deep breath, resting his arm across his chest wishing his emotions would stop throwing his body out of whack.

Castiel chuckled misunderstanding, "Are you really that hungry? They said it'd be twenty minutes."

Dean gave a fake laugh, "Yeah, I hope I don't die before they get here."

Cas rolled his eyes and his phone rang. The conversation lasted twenty seconds before Cas turned to Dean, "That was Anna. They misplaced her luggage. I'm going to go with her to the front desk, so I can translate."

Castiel left and Dean grabbed a change of clothes for himself. Castiel had been gone ten minutes and Dean already found himself feeling alone without him. He laughed at himself. What was he a teenage girl? He heard footsteps from the hall and looked at the door. He was disappointed when they walked by and disappeared to where he couldn't hear them anymore. Yeah, he's definitely screwed.


	4. Italy's a beautiful place

For dinner, they went to a restaurant that was nearby and took a table outside. The lights were dimly lit and their table faced out to the lagoon. The mood was relaxing with the sound of the water and the cool evening air. Dean still not wanting to take a risk when it came with the food, just let Castiel order for him again since whatever they had ate earlier had been really good and had left Dean craving more.

Castiel didn't disappoint again and Dean felt himself slightly moan around his fork, which made Castiel chuckle as he took a sip of wine. Rebecca, apparently loved wine and had insisted on ordering a bottle. Dean admitted it was pretty good, but a little too sweet for his taste. He preferred his beer.

Alfie, who was sitting across from Dean and Cas, pulled a small camera out of his pants pocket and held it up with raised eyebrows when Castiel groaned, "You know how Mom is."

Dean looked confused at Castiel and Cas explained, "The family vacations are the only times when we're all together. So, she likes to keep memories of them. It depresses her how almost all of us have moved out. It's why we started doing the vacations when Michael and Lucifer first moved out."

"Yes, so," Alfie looked at Dean shyly, "Can I get a picture of you two?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," Dean put his fork down and wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Alfie held up the camera and pointed it at the couple and they both plastered smiles on their faces, but Alfie frowned, "Oh, come on, guys. It looks so forced. Put a little more heart into it. Wrap your arm around each other or something."

Dean glanced at Cas a little reluctant, but reminded himself why he was really here. To play the part of a boyfriend. He gave Castiel a nervous smile before slinging his arm around his shoulders. Cas adjusted his chair and wrapped his arm around Dean's waist, bringing him closer. Dean, again, felt at ease in Castiel's embrace, even though his heart sped up a bit at the proximity.

Alfie grinned, "Much better." They smiled, a little warmer than before, being in each others arms. After Alfie was satisfied with a few camera flashes, Dean cleared his throat and awkwardly detached himself from Castiel. Though they were no longer touching, Cas hadn't moved back away and Dean could feel his body heat next him not a foot away.

Gabriel started telling a funny story and despite that all of the siblings seemed to be entranced in his story, Dean wasn't paying much attention. He found himself distracted by the person next to him, even though he wasn't doing anything. He was all too well aware of him. His eyes caught small movements of Cas shifting in his seat and how his face crinkled when he laughed. He felt himself smiling as Cas did, not even hearing the punchline to Gabriel's story.

He hadn't realized how soft his gaze had turned and how long he had been staring, until Castiel turned to him still smiling and met his eyes. When Dean didn't look away, his smile eased and his eyes flickered like he was searching Dean's eyes for something. But this wasn't like when they would stare and not break eye contact. That was intense and the tension in the air was clouded with confused emotions. This, this was different. Less sharp and more comfortable.

Dean felt something warm inside him and he smiled at Cas, welcoming the feeling for once. Castiel tilted his head at Dean's contented face, "What are you smiling about?"

Dean finally broke eye contact and looked down at his plate, "Oh, nothing, Cas. Just lost in thought."

They were walking to the hotel, when Dean stopped outside of the doors. The Novaks didn't notice, though, and continued through the them, chatting amiably among themselves. Castiel paused and looked over his shoulder at Dean and raised his eyebrows questionably, "Are you coming?"

"Uh" Dean took a step back, "I think I'll just take a short walk before heading off to bed."

"Okay," Cas gave him a strange look, "Do you want company?"

Dean shook his head, "No, thanks. Just go on up to bed, Cas. I'll be fine and up in a few."

"Well, alright," Cas said before smirking, "Just don't get lost. I don't want to be up at two in the morning looking for your ass in Italy."

Castiel walked inside and Dean let out a deep breath before strolling in a random direction, keeping in mind where he was going. Cas had been joking, but he really didn't want get lost in a foreign country. He enjoyed the quiet night, walking alongside the water. It was relaxing and helped him forget about going back to his hotel room.

He knew he was being stupid and it was inevitable. But he couldn't help but try and prolong crawling into bed with Castiel. He was being ridiculous and over thinking it. Friends shared beds all the time, right? It wasn't as big a deal as he was making it. He had even been in circumstances where he had to bunk with a guy before. So, why was it that with Cas it made his stomach unsettle? He was starting to get an idea, but it made his chest tighten, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

He came across a small diner that was surprisingly still open and decided to step inside, the lights that shone through the windows looking inviting. There was only a few customers and Dean sat down at the bar. The big guy with a scruffy beard who was wiping it down walked over to him.

"Salve, cosa posso portarle?" he asked and Dean immediately felt stupid, remembering where he was.

"Uh," he assumed he was asking for his order and looked at the menu on the wall. Not feeling hungry after having just ate, he decided a beer would be good. Maybe it could cloud his mind and make him stop over thinking every goddamn thing. He butchered the name next to a picture of a beer, "The Duchessic Ale?" He smiled apologetically at the man.

The guy, Dean saw his name tag said Benny, chuckled, "Don't worry, I got it." He placed a bottle in front of Dean and smiled, "Don't speak Italian? Are you from the states?"

"Yeah, only English and a very bad memory of Spanish class," Dean took a gulp of his beer, relieved he found someone who spoke English. Made him feel less alone.

"I'm from Louisiana myself. Moved here a few years ago to go to culinary school."

Dean sighed, "I'm here with a friend. He speaks Italian and he always does all the ordering and stuff. Guess I forgot about that small detail when I ventured out by myself."

Dean took another long drink from his beer, staring at the table. Cas was probably wondering where had gone off to by now, but he still didn't feel like going back to the hotel just yet.

Benny noticed the slump in Dean's shoulders and the sad look in his eyes, "What's troubling you, brother?"

Dean glanced at him, "Oh, I don't even know really. I'm just starting to regret coming on this stupid vacation in the first place."

Benny didn't respond, giving Dean the opportunity to go on if he wanted or to just leave it at that. Dean pinched at the bridge of his nose closing his eyes, before he found himself continuing. He wondered why he was telling a complete stranger all this, but it wasn't like there was anyone else he could talk to. If he told Castiel, it'd probably just freak him out and make their relationship even more awkward.

"My best friend, he - his parents kept setting him up on all these dates and he was getting sick of it. So, me, being a great guy and alll, pretended to be his boyfriend for an evening so they'd lay off. But, apparently, I was too charming. His family invited me to go onto vacation with them and I didn't know how to decline. So, here I am, in fucking Italy, in a fake relationship with my best friend."

"Sounds like a heavy role," Benny commented as he cleaned the glasses with a rag.

"Yeah," Dean drained his beer and without question Benny put another in front of him. Dean took it grateful.

"Well, hey, you're in Venice, man," Benny shrugged his shoulders, "May not be Paris, but it's still a romantic city. You're not a bad looking guy. Why not snag a nice Italian girl or guy for the night? If it's not so hard to get away from the family, why not enjoy yourself."

Dean considered what Benny was saying, but couldn't seem to wrap his head around it. It didn't sound too bad to get laid by a sexy Italian, but his stomach churned at the thought of going home with someone. But why? He had had plenty of one night stands. So, it wasn't the thought of leaving in the morning and never seeing them again that was bothering him. So what was it?

"It just," he thought out loud, "feels... wrong doing that."

Wrong, yes, he was sure that's what it was, but why?

"And why's that? I'm not saying to find the love of your life, just have a little fun while you're here."

"No, I know what you're talking about, it's just. I... don't know."

"I'm sure your friend wouldn't mind as long as his family didn't find out."

"Yeah, he probably wouldn't," Dean said cynically, playing with the cuffs on his shirt.

Benny must have heard something in his tone because he stopped his task and leaned on the counter a few feet away from Dean and looked at him. He held back a laugh at his customer's ignorance of his own feelings, realizing what was really going on.

"And this friend of your's," Benny said slowly trying to not be as blunt as he usually is, "He's just a friend?"

Dean turned his head startled and looked at Benny with wide eyes before he shifted them away, "Yeah."

Benny tried a different approach, "Then, it must be weird acting like a couple, huh?"

Dean opened his mouth to say, "Hell, yeah, it's weird," but quickly shut it, knowing it was a lie. Truth is it didn't feel weird, which was weird. Dean felt at ease holding Cas's hand or slinging his arm around his shoulder. It didn't feel wrong, like it should, acting in love with someone you weren't. "Well, Cas is like my best friend and I care about the guy so it's not hard acting close with him," he finally said instead.

"And acting like that with someone else would," Benny raised his eyebrows, "feel wrong?"

"Yeah," Dean answered before really thinking about it and paused bringing his beer to his lips realizing what he'd just said. Where had that come from? Did he really think that?

"So," Benny continued with a smile, seeing Dean was starting to get it, "it's not sleeping with someone that feels wrong, it's sleeping with someone else that feels wrong, isn't it?"

Dean's lips parted as he thought about it. Was that really it? He felt like he'd betray Cas if he slept with someone else? But that's stupid. Him and Castiel weren't really together. It was all fake, all of it. Every touch, every word, every look, when they kissed. None of it was real. Dean felt his throat tighten and a pain in his chest. As Dean thought about it, the reminder hurt. Had he started to let himself think it was real? That it wasn't all an act when Cas smiled at him, or when he laughed? That would hurt the most, if those weren't genuine. Cas's smile was Dean favorite part of him. The way his whole face was overtaken by his smile when he laughed, his nose scrunched up and his eyes were slits. When he looked at Dean like that, he couldn't help but smile back...

"Holy shit," Dean whispered and looked at Benny with shocked eyes.

Benny threw his head back shaking with laughter as Dean's thought process played out on his face. "Oh, brother," he said between chuckles, "You're really obtuse, aren't you?" This play the therapist as a bartender was really fun. He should try it more often.

Dean pulled his wallet out and tossed a few euros on the counter, having cashed his dollars in when they arrived. He stood up and was about to rush out, consumed by his thoughts. He almost forgot the guy who led him to his realization. He turned to Benny at the door, "Uh, hey, thanks, man. You have a good night."

Dean paced the streets of Venice back to the hotel, his mind swarming with a million thoughts. How had he not realized? He was in love with Cas. Stupid in love with the guy, it was ridiculous. It all made sense now. Why he couldn't refuse him, no matter the request. Why when they kissed, everything had shifted, because Dean had been falling for him and couldn't ignore his feelings after he had felt what it was like to be with him. Why he had never looked for more than one night stands or easy girls, because his heart wasn't in it. Why he got jealous when other people even hung around Cas. Why he found himself wanting to be closer and never feeling satisfied. He was in love with Castiel.

He felt himself smiling at the thought, mostly happy that he had sorted out why his stomach twisted and and he felt warmth whenever he was playing the part of boyfriend. His emotions had been a jumbled confused mess and overwhelming, but now they weren't and he didn't feel scared by them anymore. He felt happy, light, and alleiviated. And maybe it was the wine he had earlier or the two beers, but he didn't care.

He didn't know what he was going to do with this information, but he wasn't really putting much thought or planning as he let his heart pull him up the stairs to his hotel room. His hand shaking with excitement or nerves, he wasn't sure, as he slid the card key. He opened the door and rushed inside.

Castiel was asleep, huddled under the covers on the left side of the bed. The sight stopped Dean cold in his tracks and he lost all of the adrenaline that had bolted him here. What had he been planning to do? Proclaim his love to Castiel? Run into his arms and take his face in his hands? What was wrong with him? He couldn't do that. Dean's chest felt heavy and he slid down the wall and slumped on the floor. He rested his elbow on his knee and put his forehead in his hand.

How had he been so stupid? Dean didn't get what he wanted. How had he forgotten that? He wasn't the guy who got the girl (or guy, whatever, not the point). He was the guy that charmed them into bed and left them in the morning. And he didn't even think twice about it. He was an alcoholic mechanic who barely made it through school. He didn't deserve Cas. Cas deserved so much better than Dean could offer. Dean had barely even been in a real relationship that lasted more than a few weeks. He didn't know how to be a boyfriend, not in real play.

And how could he even risk what they had like that? What if Dean decided he didn't want to be with Cas and broke his heart? He'd lose his best friend and he dind't want that. No, Dean, needed to think this through before he did anything. He wasn't just going to have sex with Cas and debate sticking around in the morning. No, he couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that. Castiel was different, he wasn't like the others. This, whatever was between them, had to be different than Dean's past relationships, because Cas was more than just a hookup. He needed to do this right, if he was going to do it and he still wasn't sure if he was.

Dean let out a frustrated sigh and looked at Cas's shoulders slightly moving as he breathed. His back was to him and Dean could see little toughs of black hair sticking out from under the covers. He looked so small, curled into a ball on the edge of the bed, obviously having tried to leave room for Dean. He looked so fragile buried under the blankets. Dean was worried he'd hurt him and he looked so easy to break.

He got up and dug around his suitcase for one of the band tees he knew he had brought. He changed into one and stripped his jeans to his boxers. He crawled into the bed carefully, trying not to wake Castiel up. But as the bed sunk with his weight, Castiel stirred and rolled over, facing Dean. His head now at the edge of his pillow, inches from Dean. He was so close, Dean could feel his breath.

With drowsy eyes, he looked up at Dean from under his eyelashes, his voice rougher than usual from sleep, "Dean?"

Dean let out a small chuckle, "Yeah, it's me. You expecting someone else?"

Castiel yawned, "No."

"Cas," Dean spoke softly, "Just go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you."

Castiel ignored him, "How was your walk?"

"Oh, it was," Dean paused thinking about all that had happened and was happy the room was dark because he was sure he blushed, "nice."

"Yeah, well," Castiel yawned again and gave him a sleepy smile, "Italy's a beautiful place."

Dean watched his favorite shade of blue fade away as Cas's eyes fluttered back to sleep and smiled, "Yeah, it is."

Dean didn't move away, though he probably should have. He eventually fell asleep, too, comfortable and content with Castiel right next to him. And there they lay, cuddled, in the middle of a king sized bed with plenty of room on either side of them to move away, but neither of them wanting to, enveloped in each other.


	5. It's not like I'm a straight zero

Castiel woke up nuzzled into Dean's chest and his leg draped over Dean's. He almost didn't want to pull away it was so comfortable, but he knew he should before Dean woke up. Hadn't he joked yesterday that he wouldn't attack Dean in his sleep? Yet, here he was, curled up against him like a cat. He slowly pulled away, but felt Dean tug on his shirt still unconscious as he felt the cold air that replaced Castiel's warmth. But Cas lightly unclasped Dean's fingers and succeeded in crawling out of bed without waking Dean up.

He stepped towards his suitcase for clothes, when there was an insistent knocking at the door. He rushed to it, not wanting it to wake Dean up, as the person behind the door suggested he wouldn't stop until it opened.

"Gabriel," Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose at the sight of his brother, "What the hell? You're going to wake the whole floor up. It's barely seven."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Come on, Cassie. You and you're boy toy need to get dressed. We're having breakfast at eight and then hitting the town."

"Yeah, alright," Cas nodded before shutting the door on his face, still groggy before his coffee.

Castiel walked back into the bedroom to see Dean with an arm thrown over his eyes. He groaned, "The hell was that?"

"Gabriel," Cas said grabbing clothes.

"Figures," Dean mumbled before sitting up rubbing his eyes. He felt a spliting headache and put his head in his hands.

"We're having breakfast at eight. Im going to take a shower. There's painkillers in the small black bag," Cas gestured to the luggage before stepping into the bathroom.

Dean found the pill bottle and swallowed three. He was about to turn around and attempt to figure out the coffee maker, when something caught his eye. Cas's sketch pad was sticking out of the black bag now that Dean had rummaged through it.

He was tempted to peak into it, but stopped. No, that was an invasion of privacy. He couldn't do that. Cas would have showed him if he wanted it to be seen. But he hadn't so, Dean shouldn't look. He turned back to the coffee pot, but his mind kept going back to it, wondering what Cas could possibly draw that would be private.

He poured himself a cup and handed Cas his as he came out of the bathroom. Cas took it gratefully, "You're a good man, Winchester."

Dean laughed at him as he guzzled it, "What? Didn't get any sleep last night? I know I don't snore so, if you didn't, not my fault."

"I slept fine, Dean. I just had a rude awakening to Gabriel pounding on the door. Kinda ruined the morning," Castiel replied. It was only half true, though. He only got around maybe five hours of sleep. He had lied awake for probably two hours, just worrying what had compelled Dean to feel the need to escape for a 'walk'. He finally passed out wondering when Dean was going to come back. But now that he was awake, the questions flooded his mind again. Had Castiel done something wrong at dinner? Had Dean been trying to get away from him? What had Dean even done, that he was gone for two hours? Castiel felt his chest tighten at the thought of Dean picking up some girl at a bar. But he ignored the thought, because Dean couldn't even speak Italian so how could he? Castiel felt guilty for being pleased by the fact that Dean couldn't talk to any of the beautiful women of Italy, but not enough to keep him from smiling to himself.

Dean grabbed his bag and took it to the bathroom with him. He took a quick shower and stood there in his towel, staring at the bag. He took out one of the green shirts, remembering what Anna had said. It'll bring out your eyes, plus it's Castiel's favorite color. Dean put it on, feeling ridiculous for considering what Cas might think about his choice in wardrobe. Like Cas would even care or notice what he wore. He was acting like a girl.

Him and Castiel met the family downstairs for breakfast. Rebecca thought the hotel food looked promising, so they decided to stay there. Dean pulled up a seat next to Cas and Anna sat on his right. She bumped his shoulder with her's when she saw him, "See? I told you you looked good in that shirt."

"Uh, yeah," Dean covered his face with the menu, not looking at her, "I guess."

Anna frowned. Had Castiel not told him he looked amazing? Because he totally did, and if he wasn't dating her brother, she would have jumped him herself. She lowered her voice, "Did Castiel not say anything?"

Dean glanced at her and shrugged, "We were in a rush this morning. And it's just a shirt, Anna, not a big deal." But Anna knew it was a lie and she saw the sadness in his eyes behind his fake smile. Well, what the hell? She leaned back and glared at her brother, without Dean's notice, and Castiel gave her a confused look and mouthed, "What?", but she rolled her eyes and faced forward.

"Dean, look at this one," Castiel grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him to another painting. Dean merely chuckled at his best friend's excitement, going along with it. Castiel had insisted on going to the art galleries that morning when the family was planning out their day, but Rebecca wanted to see the opera, so the party had split up. Dean of course, went with Cas, happy to go whatever he wanted. Gabriel and Anna decided to tag along, too.

Castiel stopped them in front of the large canvas, splattered with a million colors and gazed at it in awe. "Isn't it amazing how you can see the emotions the artist was feeling when she painted it?"

Dean looked at the painting with Cas and saw what he meant. The different shades of reds and dark colors along with the harsh strokes evoked a very angry mood. It was intense and overwhelming. But that's all that Dean got out of it. He was sure Cas saw more than that, though. He was very intuitive, he usually saw things a lot of people didn't.

Dean stepped away to go to the bathroom and when he came back he didn't immediately go up to Castiel, just paused about ten feet away, his eyes on Castiel. Cas was so absorbed in the art, Dean couldn't help but admire him from a distance as he lost himself in the art. Castiel was so passionate about art and so could get consumed by it, not even Dean could pull him out. Castiel's eyes scanned over the canvas and Dean saw a slight smile come to his lips as he found his own meaning in it. Dean's eyes turned soft as he looked at the man and the corners of his mouth pulled up into a smile as well. Castiel looked so happy and content, completely in another world unaware of the people around him. Dean didn't want to pop the bubble.

Cas looked around finally feeling eyes on him and his searching eyes found Dean's and his grin grew wider. But after a few seconds, it suddenly fell. Dean looked at him confused before the cause itself came up behind him. He turned around at the sudden presence of someone way too close for comfort, invading his space.

A dark redheaded woman leered at him with a lustful smirk, "Ehi, ci sono, belli. Qui da solo?"

Dean stepped away from her, "Sorry, I don't speak Italian." If the look she was giving him was anything to go by, he was pretty sure she was coming on to him, but he wasn't interested. Even though she was incredibly attractive with her lucious curves and little black dress, Dean didn't feel anything looking at her, having developed a thing for only blue eyes and black sex hair.

She pouted at the increased distance, but grinned widely again, "Ah, are you American then?"

"Uh, yeah," Dean said uneasy under her eyes that shouted she just wanted to devour him on the spot.

"Well, then, how about I show you the city?" her blood red lips purred at him and she quirked an eyebrow playfully.

"No, thanks. I'm kinda here with someone," Dean declined wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. A few years ago, he might've found her confidence and intimating stare arousing, but right now he just felt like he was being violated as she raped his body with her eyes.

She put a ruby nail to her lips and stepped closer with a wicked smile, "Really? That's too bad, but I don't see a girl draped around your arm and honey, if you were mine I wouldn't let you leave my sight. So, come on, let me show you a good time?"

Dean leaned away from her advance, not really knowing what to do in this situation. A woman had never came after him so persistent before, but then again he usually wasn't that hard to get and didn't often refuse. He opened his mouth to reply when an arm snaked around his from behind and grasped his hand.

The woman's leer dropped at the other person's presence and her eyes shifted to him annoyed. Her stance, yet still confident, lost the seductiveness and became defensive as she put her hand on her hip.

Castiel nodded at her politely before smiling sweetly at Dean, "Darling, I have no idea where Anna and Gabriel ran off too. Have you seen them?"

Dean was taken aback for a moment and he felt his neck and cheeks warm, before he realized what Cas was doing, "Oh, no I haven't. We should go find them, though, before Gabriel gets arrested by the security for disturbing the peace or something."

Dean nodded at the woman and then strolled away with Cas, hand in hand. They rounded the corner and Castiel looked at him with a slight fear in his eyes before scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"You, uh, looked like you were in distress. So, I, um-"

Dean cut him off with a chuckle at Cas's obvious worry that he had done something wrong, "Yeah, you saved me there, Cas. That woman was a viper."

"You're not mad?"

"What? No. Why would I be mad?" Dean laughed, "She was about to eat me alive if you hadn't came."

"Just," Cas looked away uncomfortable, "I didn't know if I had - what's the word? Cockblocked you? You didn't seem like you were interested in her, but if-"

"Cas," Dean jerked on his arm pulling him to a stop, forcing him to look at him, "I think if you cockblocked anyone it was her."

"So, you weren't?"

"No," Dean smiled at him like he was letting Cas in on a secret, but Cas still wasn't getting it.

Castiel started walking again with Dean in tow as they hadn't dropped hands even though they were alone in the empty halls. Neither of them commented on it, though. Castiel was quiet for a moment, fighting whether or not he really wanted to ask in fear of the answer. But he finally won over his nerves and glanced at Dean, "Why not?"

"Why not what?"

"Why," Castiel suddenly felt awkward and regretted his question, "weren't you interested in her? I might be gay, but I could tell that she was an attractive woman."

"Well, I'm not just going to hook up with some chick while I'm here with you," he finally said and quickly added, "on vacation with your family."

Castiel thought about that for a minute and it made sense, but he knew Dean was lying. He knew him too well and that wasn't his real reason. He pushed his luck, knowing at some point Dean was going to think Cas's persistence was odd, but the woman's hungry gaze plagued his mind and he wanted to get rid of her, "You really weren't interested?"

Dean sighed and looked Cas in the eyes, willing him to believe him, even though he didn't know why Cas even cared. Dean guessed he was probably feeling guilty that he was preventing Dean from getting laid by dragging him out to Italy. "Cas, I really wasn't. I don't want to jump into some random person's bed, anymore. I know I used to be like that, but it doesn't sound as appealing anymore."

Castiel searched his eyes, but didn't see any dishonesty there. He was relieved and gave Dean a warm smile before mumbling under his breath, "Good."

Dean's heart raced at the word and what it could have meant, but he didn't respond because he was fairly sure he wasn't supposed to have heard it.

Dean and Gabirel walked a few paces ahead of them arguing about wich cop shows were the worst. Castiel strolled quiety beside Anna wondering why she kept sneaking him hostile eyes. After a moment, Anna slowed her step until they were out of earshot of the guys.

"Hey, Castiel, doesn't Dean look great in green?" she gestured her eyes to Dean.

"Oh, um," Cas stared at Dean's oblivious back, not having really noticed what he was wearing, "Yeah, he does."

Anna smiled satisfied with the answer and nudged his shoulder, "We picked that out thinking you'd like it."

"You," Castiel's eyes flickered to Dean laughing at something Gabriel had said and hitting him on the arm in response, "You did?"

Anna put her lips together, "Mmhmm."

Dean turned around then and smiled at Cas, "Come on! I'm going to starve before we get to the restaurant."

Anna and Castiel laughed and caught up with them. Dean walked beside Cas and slug his arm around his shoulders nonchalant. It was a causal gesture and Dean continued to banter with Gabriel, but as Dean's hand lightly rubbed his arm, Cas felt his heart rate pick up. After they had walked for a block, Castiel's heart finally calmed down and he was glad because he was sure Dean could hear it. He leaned into the embrace less nervous, finding comfort there.

The group stopped at a small restaurant and ordered a big pizza for them to share. Gabriel and Dean ate most of it while Anna and Castiel only had a couple of slices. Now that Anna had pointed it out to him, Castiel found it hard to not look at Dean. Castiel usually didn't get past Dean's eyes long enough to actually look at him any further, but he did now and it was a little overwhelming. The shirt did look good on him. It wasn't tight, but just enough to highlight Dean's muscles. They were lean and smooth under the fabric. Cas looked back up to Dean's face and his eyes looked vivid and were a dominant feature on his face. The shirt was close to the shade of green, but at the same time no where near it, nonetheless it made his eyes pop. Along with the scattered freckles across his skin and his golden tinted hair, Castiel wasn't surprised women threw themselves at him. Dean was beautiful. How Castiel hadn't fully noticed that until now was beyond him. He had known Dean was attractive, but now the word 'attractive' felt like it'd be an insult.

"What are you staring at, Cas?" Dean took a sip of his coke, his stomach twisting under Castiel's gaze.

"Oh," Castiel forced himself back to reality, he hadn't realized he'd been staring so openly. He tried to come up with a response, when he suddenly remembered a similar situation and quoted with a smirk, "Nothing, Dean. Just lost in thought."

Dean smiled, wanting to call him out on the obvious lie, but knowing Cas would just turn it back on him. They were his words, anyways.

After they ate, they went back to the hotel to get ready to leave for Florence that evening. They were almost done packing, when Dean's phone started ringing from the bedside table. Castiel was closer so he tossed it to Dean, watching him answer it of the corner of his eye, curious as to who it was.

"Hello?"

"Dean! How could you not tell me? I mean I guess I understand why you didn't, but I wouldn't have judge you for it. I love you, Dean, and nothing can change that. I'm so happy for you. And Cas is like a part of the family, so really -"

Dean cut off his mother's rambling, "Mom, slow down. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Language," Mary warned.

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Dean rephrased, rolling his eyes, "What did I not tell you?"

"About you and Castiel," Marry sounded exasperated like it was obvious what she had been referring to.

"What?" Dean all, but chocked out.

Mary sighed, "Honey, it's okay really. I don't understand why you felt you needed to keep it a secret. We will always love you no matter what, you know that. Be with whoever you want to be with as long as they make you happy and don't worry what other people will think."

"We?" Dean tried to keep up with her, this was happening way too fast.

"Yes, your father and brother, too. It doesn't bother them either. Sammy wasn't even shocked, said he had a feeling or something. Your father, well, it was a surprise to him, but your still his son, Dean, and nothing could change that. I know he raised you to be tough and act like a real man, but just because you're gay -"

"I-I'm not-" Dean ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Gay? Okay, bisexual. Either way, it doesn't make you any less of a man and your father didn't think any less of you when he found out. He said Castiel was a good man and he couldn't ask for someone better. And you're still the big brother Sammy has always looked up to. Nothing's changed."

Dean let out a deep breath, glad that his family was so accepting and loving, but still where had this all came from? It was completely out of nowhere and she had said something about Cas...

"Mom, how did - how do you even know?"

"Mrs. Novak sent a postcard in the mail, it must have been express since you only left just two days ago. She's a really nice woman. We'll have to have lunch some time or something. Anyways, there was a photo attached of you and Cas. It's so adorable. You two look so happy, Dean."

"A photograph?" Dean asked stupidly.

"Yes, Dean," Dean could hear her roll her eyes through the phone, "a photograph. Are you okay, honey? You're acting a little slow."

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine."

"Alright, then. Well, I have to cook dinner before your father comes home. Give Castiel my love and call if you need anything. Love you, bye."

Dean stared at the phone after she hung up, still trying to recollect what had just happened. Castiel stood beside him, waiting patiently for Dean to tell him what was going on.

There was a moment of silence as Dean tried to sort his thoughts. He didn't look at Cas when he finally spoke, his voice low, "So, my mom knows."

"Knows what?" Castiel asked, though judging by what he had heard he had an idea. It couldn't really be anything else.

"She knows - ," Dean caught the word in his throat and quickly corrected himself, "thinks we're dating."

"What?" Cas's eyes grew wide at the confirmation, "How? Why?"

"Your mom sent her a postcard with that picture Alfie took of us. She drew her own conclusion."

Castiel walked to the bed and slumped on it glaring at his shoes, "Dammit."

Dean looked at him, his shock of the situation wearing off at the sound of Cas's voice. He was leaned forward with his head in his hand, trying to rub the stress out of his forehead. Dean sat next to him, but Castiel didn't look up and he said, "Dean, I'm so sorry. This wasn't supposed to go so far. I should've never asked you to do something like this. It was selfish of me and now the lie's seeping into your life."

"Hey," Dean spoke softly, grabbing Cas's hand, forcing him to meet his eyes, "This isn't your fault and I agreed to this, remember? You didn't force my hand. I went along with this voluntarily."

Castiel stared at him, guilt still in his eyes, "But your mom - "

"Is cool with it, anyways. So, no harm done," Dean finished for him.

"We shouldn't be lying to our families like this. It's wrong and unfair to them," Castiel argued on, drowning in his negativity.

"It is not that big of a lie."

Castiel looked at him like he was crazy for being so calm about it. "Dean, you just indirectly came out to your family and you don't think it's a big lie?"

Dean stood up and sauntered back over to his suitcase to finish packing, not able to meet Castiel's eyes. "Well," he took a deep breath for what he was about to say, "It's not like I'm a straight zero on the Kinsey scale so,...no it's not really a big lie."

Castiel stared at his back dumbly, not knowing how to respond to the words that hung in the air. He was surprised as it was the first he had heard of it. He had known Dean for four years and he had never told him or even hinted at it. Not to his family, either and Cas guessed not to anyone else for that matter. Castiel thought that must've been the first time Dean had even admitted it out loud and it wasn't even a clear deceleration. Castiel struggled with what to say, knowing the moment was fragile and could easily break. He wanted to ask more about it, but knew that would push Dean away. He was hardly ever comfortable talking about his feelings and when he did, it wasn't for long.

Castiel tried, "I can't believe my mother just forced you out of the closet."

Dean laughed and the tension in his shoulders relaxed and Castiel smiled in relief at having said the right thing. The serious atmosphere disappeared and Dean was glad for it. It took a lot for him to admit that to Cas and he didn't want to have a chick flick moment about it. He just wanted Castiel to know the truth, not wanting to keep secrets from him.

"Yeah, well, it's okay. I'll forgive her," Dean shrugged as he zipped up his suitcase, "Alright, let's get down there. They're probably waiting on us."

Castiel picked up his luggage and raised his eyebrows, "Wow, Dean. Have you conquered your fears? I thought you'd drag your feet getting back on an airplane."

Dean grabbed his forehead remembering, "Aw, shit. I forgot. Do we have to get back on that fucking plane again? Why can't we just take a car?"

"Too much of a hassle renting them. It's just easier to take Michael's plane."

Dean groaned as they left the room for the stairs, "How long is it this time?"

Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly, "Barely three hours, Dean, if even that much."

Dean nodded. At least it wasn't the fifteen hours that he had to endure the day before. They were on the last flight of stairs when Dean realized something, "Hey, how did your mom even know my mom's address?"

Castiel met his confused gaze, "I don't know, but over the years, I've learned not to question her resources."


	6. Dean, are you - are you jealous?

Dean had been quietly and also not so quietly, dreading this part of the trip. The visit to Balthazar's. Rebecca had contacted him and he had offered for them to stay in his new mansion while they were in Florence. _New mansion._ Dean scoffed to himself. Who the hell has a mansion, let alone more than one? Pompous assholes, that's who. Also, this guy had dated Cas and Dean just wasn't looking forward to meeting him.

"So," Dean jerked his and Cas's intertwined fingers to get his attention. Dean still wasn't okay with flying and Castiel wasn't going to mock him for it, so why not hold his hand? Dean never would have thought that someone's mere touch could be so comforting. But Cas was.

He continued when Cas tore his gaze away from the window, "What's this guy like? You said he was an asshole, right?"

"I never said he was an asshole, Dean, just that he was arrogant. He's not that bad of a guy. We were just too different, I couldn't see myself dating him."

Dean didn't say anything, disappointed Castiel didn't completely hate the guy. Castiel was quiet and then said, "He's actually kind of funny, if you can get past his attitude. You'd probably like him."

Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, sure." Like he could ever get along with someone who had dated Cas. He knew he was being a bit childish, but it twisted his gut hearing Cas talking about someone else like that.

Castiel stared at Dean and a smile crept up onto his face. He chuckled incredulous, "Dean, are you - are you jealous?"

Dean's cheeks went pink and he huffed, "What? No." But he didn't meet Cas's eyes, knowing Cas would be ab;e to deceive the lie right away.. He was jealous, though he'd never admit it. This guy was rich, highly successful, and Castiel's family loved him. How could Dean even compete with that? It made him sick at being so insecure, but he couldn't help it. He felt pathetic.

Castiel raised his eyebrows, but didn't call Dean out. He winked playfully, "Don't worry, Dean. I still like you more." He didn't know why Dean was jealous, but he was still a little pleased by it. He turned his smile back tot he window with a small hope in his chest.

When they arrived at the Florence Airport, Blathazar was there to meet them. He was a blond guy in a sports blazer and the air around him was polluted with confidence. His eyes were blue, but no where as beautiful as Castiel's. Dean guessed he was attractive if you liked the lean snarky type. He reminded him of Gordon Ramsey.

"My friends," he grinned at them, "I'm glad you came."

They all exchanged greetings and then Balthazar's eyes landed on Castiel. He strutted over with a sly smile, "Castiel, darling, it's so good to see you."

He wrapped his arms around Cas and Cas returned the hug, though rather awkwardly. Blathazar leaned away, but left his hand on Castiel's arm. Dean tried to keep his agitation under wraps, his arms crossed over his chest a few feet away. Acting so intimate, calling Castiel "darling", it made Dean's head swarm with red. The guy hadn't even noticed Dean or if he did he just ignored him. Dean caught Anna and Gabriel's worried looks, but he gave them a fake smile and shook his head slightly so they'd know he was okay. He was aware he was overreacting, but he was finding out firsthand how much of a bitch jealousy was.

Castiel uncomfortably shrugged off Balthazar and stepped towards Dean. The movement caught Balthazar's attention and he finally looked at Dean. His eyes overlooked Dean, measuring him up and he smirked, deciding the value was low. Dean stood up straighter in response, not letting the guy think he was inferior.

"Balthazar, this is my boyfriend, Dean," Castiel introduced them, uneasy and feeling extremely awkward.

"Ah, the lucky bastard you dumped me for," Balthazar held out his hand and Dean shook it, both of them applying more force than necessary.

"I did not dump you for Dean," Castiel rolled his eyes, "Balthazar, we were barely dating."

Balthazar glanced at Castiel with sad eyes, but quickly put his arrogant mask back on, "Nevertheless, it's nice to meet you, Dean."

Dean smiled, trying to not be an asshole, "Yeah, you, too."

Gabriel strided over, "Okay, enough of that. When are you going to show us your new digs, Baltzy."

Balthazar turned to him, "Oh, yes. I rented two cars for your family to use while you're here. Your mother has my address, but it should be fairly easy to just follow me there. It's not too many turns."

The group followed Balthazar to the cars waiting. He waved at them and hopped into his own car, a black Maserati. Dean still wasn't too fond of the guy and didn't think he ever would be based on how he was obviously still interested in Castiel, but he could appreciate the guy's taste. That car was badass. It made him miss Baby.

They had dinner at Balthazar's that night. It turned out to not be as bad an evening as Dean had thought, well at least the first half, anyway. Balthazar hadn't really talked that much with him or Castiel, which Dean was grateful for. He was busy catching up with the rest of the Novaks.

It was half way through dinner when Castiel got a phone call. He took it out of his pocket to decline it, but then saw the Caller ID and his thumb paused over the decline button. His eyes grew slightly frightened and Dean instantly guessed who it was. He nudged Castiel's shoulder and when Cas met his eyes, Dean nodded towards the phone. Castiel sighed and nodded.

"Um, excuse me, I have to take this," he excused himself from the table. He left the room with a nervous glance at Dean, but Dean just gave him an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

Rebecca looked at Dean curiously as the door closed softly, "Who might that be?"

"An art curator. He's been waiting for a call," Dean answered hesitatly. He was relieved when there was no snide remarks and even a smile from Rebecca.

Anna made idle chat with Dean in the presence of Castiel's absence and he tried to listen to her. But Castiel had been gone nearly ten minutes and Dean was starting to get worried. It was an art curator and that was supposed to be good news, but what if the price was too low or it was only for one art piece? Castiel was always happy with any offers, but striving to be an artist, he needed to learn how to live on it.

Dean stood up when it had been fifteen minutes to go check on Cas, when Castiel shuffled through the door. He had the biggest smile on his face and he threw his arms around Dean the moments he reached him. Dean held onto him just as enthusiastically.

Castiel leaned back in his arms, "I got an offer, a really good offer, and for several pieces."

"That's great, Cas. I'm proud of you. I knew you would," Dean pulled him back into his arms, not wanting to let go. But eventually, he had to as everyone's peering eyes were on them. Though they were no longer hugging, their arms stayed wrapped around each other as they walked back to their seats. Before detached from Castiel, Dean pulled him close and pecked his cheek. Everyone was still watching them and it would've been suspicious if Castiel's supposed lover didn't give him a little affection when he had got such good news. Yeah, that was it. At least, that's what Dean would say if Cas questioned it later. It wasn't like he had just felt so warm looking at Castiel's giant grin on his face that he just wanted to kiss it. No, that wasn't it.

Surprise flashed Castiel's eyes for the briefest second before he gave Dean a soft smile reserved only for Dean. He then, reluctantly faced his family's intrigued gazes. He focused on Anna across the table as she had always been the most supportive, but spoke to everyone, "I just got a call from an art curator. She said she wanted to buy nine of my pieces and offered a substantial amount of money. She wants to display them in her art gallery."

Anna's face brightened, "That's wonderful, Castiel. Congratulations!" There were other murmurs of congrats and a pat on the back from Gabriel, before everyone returned to their meal and previous conversations.

A while after that, the sweet atmosphere was ruined and Dean was wishing he could go back to it. He had to have known this was coming, but he had been in denial and hoped it wouldn't. The evening would've ended so much better if it hadn't happened.

"So, Dean," Balthazar called out to him from the other side of the table just a few seats away, "this must be a nice change of atmosphere?"

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, though he was pretty sure it was some sort of sneer, judging by Balthazar's smirk.

"Oh, just that you must not get to go on such expensive trips for practically nothing," Balthazar shrugged casually. Yeah, that definitely had an undertone of an insult in it, hinting at Dean's small paycheck.

Castiel glared at him, his jaw set, "Balthazar."

Balthazar rolled his eyes at him, "Castiel, I wasn't trying to be offensive, though I guess I can see how it came off that way." He turned to Dean, "I apologize if I offended you, Dean. It's just that not many people can to travel as grand as the Novaks. I was merely asking if you were enjoying it."

Dean forced a smile, "Yeah, it's great."

Balthazar nodded and pointed his wine glass at him, "What is it you do?"

"I'm in architecture and design."

"That's good and all, but I what I meant was what do you do for a living?"

Dean was starting to get annoyed at Balthazar's condescending tone, looking at Dean with an amused face. Dean didn't appreciate Balthazar's derogatory choice of words, treating Dean like he was superior to him. He snapped, "Mechanic."

"Ah, any dealerships I might've heard of?"

Dean's jaw hardened, "No, it's a privately owned auto shop. It belongs to my uncle."

Balthazar sneered, "So, must not be that hard of a job if your boss is your uncle, huh? Not like he would fire family. I bet you slack off all the time. You seem like you live your life easy."

Dean tightened his fist under the table. Who does this guy think he is that he can just talk down to people like that? It was really pissing Dean off and he couldn't really say anything about it. As much as he wanted to tell the guy a few choice words, he was a guest in his house and didn't want his actions to affect badly on the Novaks. So, he kept his lips in a hard line.

Castiel's eyes were cold as he scowled at Balthazar. He gruff voice was a little more raised than was neccessary when he spoke, "Dean does not slack off. He is very diligent at his job and even pays for his education by himself. He does not take life easy. He doesn't get free passes just because of his blood ties. He earns every dollar he makes."

Dean's mouth dropped a little at Castiel coming to his defense and Balthazar looked taken aback by the harsh tone Cas had used with him. By the flash of hurt on Balthazar's face, it seemed that Castiel was hinting at Balthazar doing what he had accused Dean of. There was an awkward silence at the table and even Gabriel wasn't laughing as he usually did whenever somone was "burned" as he put it. The air was tense with everyone glancing anxiously at Balthazar for his reaction besides Castiel who went back to his meal.

Balthazar actually laughed, which made Castiel even more irritated and the Novaks gave a sigh of relief turning back to themselves, "Oh, Castiel, I love that about you, always so serious and sassy. I was only teasing Dean, don't come at me with your claws."

Balthazar took a sip of his wine and turned back to Dean with a sly smile, "So, what is your family like, Dean? Do you have siblings?"

Dean internally groaned that this guy insisted on knowing everything about him. He felt like he was being interrogated and mocked at the same time. But Cas had already lashed out at him, which lessened Dean's annoyance, so he just smirked "Why are you so interested in me, anyway, Balthazar? I'm sorry, but I'm already taken."

Balthazar chuckled, "No, I just like to get to know my guest, know who exactly is keeping me company. I'm not too fond of letting strangers into my home."

Dean sighed, "Well, alright, I guess that makes sense. I have one sibling, my brother, Sam. He's starting college this fall."

"Is he attending the University of Kansas with you?"

"No, he's going off to Stanford to be this big shot lawyer. He's really smart, he'll probably get a full ride," Dean's voice went softer, more affectionate thinking about his little brother.

Balthazar raised his glass, "Great major. I'm assuming he gets his smarts from his brother."

Dean shrugged with a sad smile and turned the question back on him, "Do you have siblings, Balthazar?"

"No," he paused, "Well, not anymore. They're all dead. My four brothers and two sisters. They all died in a house fire with my parents while I was attending college. I was the eldest, so they were all still at home."

Dean blinked, "Oh, I'm sorry." He felt a bit bad for the guy despite his continued dislike for him. He couldn't imagine losing his whole family like that, especially Sam. It must have been Hell.

Balthazar shook his head and took a gulp from his glass, "Don't be. It was years ago and we weren't even close."

Dean was silent, wondering how someone could shrug off their family's death so easily, but he tried not to judge. Everyone had their own ways of dealing with things. Balthazar's nonchalance wasn't something he was going to hold against him, no matter how much of a douchebag he could be.

"What a depressing topic, let's talk about something else," Balthazar smiled, "Do you like the wine?"

"Well," Dean eyed his almost full glass, "I'm more of a whiskey kinda man and I enjoy my beer. The wine's good, but just a little too sweet for my taste."

"Whiskey?" Balthazar mused, "That's a pretty hard drink. What's got you so troubled you drink that?"

Dean suddenly felt uncomfortable. Balthazar obviously didn't see what was so wrong with asking such a personal question as he just stared patiently for Dean's answer. But it wasn't like they were friends and even if they were, Dean wasn't the kind of person to bare his arms at the diner table.

Castiel felt the same as Dean and opened his mouth to tell Balthazar something, but Dean rested his hand on Cas's knee under the table. Cas looked up at the gesture and Dean slightly shook his head before removing his hand. Castiel didn't need to be so defensive of Dean, he could handle Balthazar.

"Balthazar, I'm not one of those people who blab their problems to people they just met," he replied sourly.

Balthazar nodded, "Alright, I understand. Forget I even asked. So, how long have you and Castiel been together?"

"Uh," Dean glanced at Castiel and tried to remember Cas's last blind date, so it didn't overlap. They hadn't really thought of that detail, surprisingly, since it was an obvious question. But no one before had really asked.

"Well, we've known each other for over four years and we started dating...three months ago? Right, babe?" he looked at Castiel, hoping that had been a good answer.

Castiel blushed at the petname, but he didn't think Dean noticed. He cleared his throat, "Um, yes that sound about right."

"Only three months?" Balthazar raised his eyebrows, "And you've already met the family and gone on an international vacation with them?"

Dean had to admit it did sound kind of fast. He decided to make it more believable and also get back at Balthazar. It was low, but he was getting fed up with the hungry eyes Balthazar kept looking at Cas with.

He tried to not meet Cas's eyes as he spoke, "Yeah, well, like I said we've been best friends for years and then, I guess Cas's family decided he should have a serious relationship and started setting him up on all these blind dates. It, uh made me really jealous seeing him out with all these other guys every weekend it seemed," Dean scratched the back of his neck, "I had had a crush on him for like a couple of years, already, and I finally just broke and finally asked him out myself. He said yes and here we are."

Castiel attempted to not look like it was the first he had heard of it. But Dean had sounded so sincere and it was hard to believe it was all made up. It sounded completely plausible and like it could have been true. Dean's cheeks even looked red as he gave Castiel a bashful smile, which he returned whole heartedly. Castiel had to remind himself it wasn't real, though, and the warmth in his stomach was replaced with a tightness in his chest.

Balthazar gave a noticeably fake smile and looked regretful of his question, "Oh, that's...lovely. So, have you been in a lot of serious relationships then, Dean?"

Dean's throat closed up at the question and he thought about lying, but Balthazar was eyeing him and he'd be able to tell. Dean didn't want to give him the satisfaction at catching him, so he sighed, "Uh, not a lot, I guess."

"Oh?" Balthazar smirked, sipping his wine.

"Yeah, Cas is just different. Made me want to commit." Dean half smiled as not one part of that sentence was a lie.

Gabriel decided it was time to save Dean again and started asking Balthazar about his work. Dean gave him a grateful look and Gabriel winked at him. Gabriel was still a sarcastic asshole at times, but he was also a pretty good guy, too. Dean hadn't thought he'd get along with him so well, but it hadn't been that hard. Gabriel shared his sense of humor, cared about his family and Dean admired anyone like that.

Balthazar didn't bother Dean the rest of the night, much to Dean's relief. Dean was caught up in own thoughts and stayed quiet the rest of the evening. Castiel sneaked worried glances at him, but Dean kept his eyes on his plate, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

Dean was leaning over their bedroom's balcony, when Castiel got out of his shower. It was near midnight and the air was cold, but Dean didn't care. He was enjoying the fresh air and the view of the giant garden beneath the window. The place really was ridiculous. It was massive and looked like aristocrats could be living there. It had a billion rooms and it was wasteful for just one guy to be living there.

Castiel came up behind Dean, his hair still wet from the shower. He leaned over the railing with him, their arms brushing against each other. Dean didn't look at him, though he could feel him staring. He didn't want to ignore him, but he didn't want to talk about what he knew Cas would bring up.

"Dean," Castiel's smoky voice came out low and soft, "It's late. Let's go to bed."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Castiel stood there waiting, but Dean didn't move. He sighed, "Dean, about what Balt-"

"Cas," Dean let out a deep breath, "don't."

"Dean," Castiel insisted, "Balthazar was-"

Dean interrupted him, "Being an asshole. The whole time he talked down to me and smirked like he was better than me. Knew me for one hour and pointed out all my faults. And you know what makes me sick? He was right about most of it."

"Dean," Cas breathed.

Dean continued, "I'm just some lowlife mechanic with a drinking problem, whose not going anywhere in life. He may be an asshole, but some part of me thought that maybe he is better than me. I mean come on, the dude's loaded, highly successful, and got's what, two mansions? He drives fancy fucking sports cars and is a goddamn lawyer."

"Dean, you are not some lowlife," Castiel said sternly.

"No, I am. I'm just kidding myself, trying to get this architecture degree. I'm not a genius like you or Sammy. I've never been in a stable relationship my whole life and it's no wonder. I'm not good enough, never have been. Don't know why I thought I could change that." Dean never intended to tell Castiel any of this, but once he started, it just poured out. He had kept it so bottled up, it was a surprise he held out so long and didn't explode.

"Dean," Castiel grabbed his sleeve, willing him to look at him, but Dean didn't, "That is complete bullshit. You are so much more than you think. What, do you think you have to prove yourself to Balthazar? To my family? To me? Because you don't. Fuck Balthazar and his high self esteem."

"What happened to he's not such a bad guy?" Dean ignored everything else he had said.

"Well, I was wrong. I didn't know he was so condescending."

"Of course, you didn't. He wouldn't treat _you_ like that," Dean rolled his eyes.

"What?"

"Oh, come on, Cas," Dean chuckled as he sauntered back into their room, "I've seen the way he looks at you. He's still got the hots for you. You only went out like what? One time? You must have been some date."

"Yeah? Well, the feelings aren't mutual," Castiel followed him.

"But look at what you could have," Dean said, knowing he was pushing Cas away, but not being able to stop, "Matching palaces, shiny cars, Italy, and a handsome smug lawyer with pockets full of money. What are you doing with a guy like me? You should have asked him to be your fake lover. He would've been thrilled as hell."

Castiel huffed, "What? You think I'm shallow, Dean? That all I care about is money and shiny objects? That that's all it takes to be with me? Are you kidding me?"

"It's all everyone else cares about!" Dean blurted out, throwing his arms in the air frustrated, "Did you see half of the guys your parents set you up with? Lawyers and doctors, anyone with money in the bank. Then, you bring home a mechanic. It won't be long before they tell you to pick someone better."

"Dean, I don't care about that stuff! And who cares what my parents think? I can be with whoever the hell I want to be with."

"Yeah, I know you don't care," Dean sighed dropping his arms to his sides, "But it doesn't matter. I'm still not good enough for you, Cas, and I never will be."

Castiel had a feeling Dean wasn't talking about the fake relationship anymore and he felt his stomach drop at how broken Dean sounded when he said it. The tension had disappeared and there was just silence as Dean didn't meet Castiel's eyes. Cas stepped closer to him, "Dean-"

But Dean backed away, "I'm - I'm just going to go get a drink of water or something. I've had nothing but wine the past three days."

"Dean, just talk to me," Castiel looked at him hopelessly.

Dean reached for the door giving a small smile to Cas, "Look, I'm, uh, sorry I said all that stuff. I'm fine, really. Just forget about it."

The door closed with a soft click, but Dean heard Castiel call out to him one more time before it shut. He took a deep breath outside the door. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't believe he just told Cas all of that. He shouldn't let his insecurities out like that. When Cas had stepped towards him, all Dean had seen was pity in his eyes and it just killed him. He didn't want to be looked at like that. Not by anyone and especially not Cas. He just had to get away from that feeling and with a lame excuse like a glass of water. Dean really was an idiot. He walked down the hall, not even knowing where he was going, just wanting to get the hell out of this house.


	7. Yeah, I trust you, Cas

Dean walked down the stairs and went through a random door that led outside. He found himself in what seemed to be Balthazar's garden, if you could call it that. Dean strolled down the path trying to cool his head when he spotted a large gazebo that was probably used for outdoor dining. He went up to it and instantly regretted when he saw it wasn't vacant like he had assumed.

Raphael looked up at him from a comfy chair and raised his eyebrows, "Evening stroll?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I was just leaving," Dean said bitterly and turned on his heels to leave.

Raphael sighed, "Dean, wait."

Dean whirled around with a smirk, "Yeah? And why would I do that?"

"Well," Raphael spoke not looking up from his laptop, "How would you find out if you walked away?"

Dean grumbled, but figured what the hell and crossed over to a chair next to Raphael's. He seeped into it and took a breath of the clear air, his previous tension having worn off from his walk. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

"It's nearly midnight, what are you doing out here?" Raphael typed excessively on his laptop.

"I could ask you the same thing," Dean retorted not opening his eyes.

"I have to work on a case and I find it refreshing and quiet out here. My room is next to Gabriel's and he is rather loud with his blasting music."

Even though he answered, Dean wasn't about to tell him why he was out there. Because he had a fight with Castiel. Was it a fight, though? They hadn't actually been mad at each other, so Dean just considered it an argument. He wondered if he could go back and act like it didn't happen like he usually would. But after everything that had been said, he didn't think Castiel would let it go that easily.

"That phone call," Raphael began hesitantly, "that Castiel received, what was it about again?"

Dean opened his eyes and looked at him confused, wondering where he was going with this conversation, "An art curator wanting to buy and display Cas's art pieces at her art gallery."

Raphael nodded and then stopped his typing, glancing at Dean, "And that sort of thing is Castiel's source of income?"

"Well, yeah, but there's other things, too. He tutors the young artist sometimes. He's also been hired before to paint certain things and he does that if he likes the job."

"What? Like Michelangelo being hired to paint the Sistene Chapel?"

"Uh, yeah, pretty much."

"And," Raphael's eyebrows knitted together, "he lives off of that?"

Dean frowned, "Yes, he makes plenty of money to get by."

"It must be time consuming to be an artist."

Dean shrugged, "Sometimes it is, but he enjoys it, so he doesn't really see it as work."

"But wouldn't he be happier doing something that makes him more money?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "That's just what you don't get."

Raphael looked at him confused, "What?"

"It's not about the money, it never has been. Not for Cas. Castiel loves being an artist and if he had to live off scraps for the rest of his life, he would never complain as long as he could still paint."

"That's ridiculous."

"That's happiness, dude."

Raphael squinted his eyes at him, a common trait he must share with Castiel, still disagreeing, but said nothing. He still didn't get it, but for whatever reason he seemed to be trying. Dean wanted to help him understand, and then maybe he would stop ragging on Cas.

"Cas, he, uh, doesn't really fit in," Dean started, wondering if he should really be saying this, but still felt like it needed to be said, "He's awkward and sometimes doesn't really know how to talk to people, but goddamn he tries. Still, sometimes people don't understand him or get his sarcasm or his jokes. They think he's weird or he's just being a smart ass, and they take it out on him. After that - that kind of treatment you wouldn't blame a guy for giving up, especially in high school. It must've been Hell on him. But Cas didn't give up, because that's just not Cas. He's gotten better since I first met him and I don't think it bothers him as much anymore, but it's still there and he'll always remember those emotions of being isolated simply because he was different. It made him feel alone."

Dean had Raphael's full attention now and his expression was unreadable. Dean didn't know what the guy was thinking, but liked to believe he cared about his brother. Dean sighed before continuing, "So, when you feel alone, you want to feel less alone, right? You want to find comfort that you're not the only one who feels the way you do. Some people find that in music or writing, but Cas - he finds it in art. Because art isn't just pretty pictures. It tells stories. It opens a whole new world to you, a different perspective. You can feel the emotions of the artist just as well as if it had been written in words. You heard their stories and experiences through the paintings. Cas didn't feel alone anymore. He just wants to be like the artists that helped him get through that. He wants to tell his own story and maybe help someone else. He just wants to be heard."

Raphael looked down and away from Dean, "I - I never knew that."

"Yeah, well now you do. So, stop picking on him and don't put it above me to kick your ass," Dean stood up, seeing as he had done what he could.

"I only did that because I was worried," Raphael sighed, "I see now that I was being foolish."

Dean began to walk away, when he heard Raphael speak in a low voice, "You're really in love with him."

Dean stopped in his tracks and he felt his heart stammer as he slowly turned back to Raphael, "Wh - what?"

The keystrokes from the laptop filled Raphael's short silence and he didn't look up at Dean, "You're in love with him. You talk about him with such adoration and understanding. Also, the way you look at him, like he's the cause of all your happiness. I'd be an oblivious idiot if I didn't see it."

"Uh, yeah," Dean stuttered, scratching the back of his neck.

Raphael met his eyes with a smirk and Dean felt his cheeks warm.

"He's, uh - I care about him a lot, yeah," Dean finished lamely.

Raphael scoffed, "Care, okay. Anyway, don't let Balthazar get to you. He's just an ass. Don't pay him any attention, it's what he wants."

"Alright. Thanks," Dean walked off the gazebo and called over his shoulder, "Night, Raph."

He heard him retort, "Don't call me that."

"Whatever, ninja turtle."

As Dean made the way back to his and Cas's room, he was really starting to feel like an asshole for just walking out on Castiel after just letting out all his feelings to him. He didn't know what to expect when he got back, how Cas was going to react, but all in all Dean just hoped he wasn't mad.

With his fingers shaking a little and his heart stuttering in his ears he quietly opened the door. It'd be an easy way out if Cas had fallen asleep, but of course he hadn't. He was sitting cross legged on the bed, patiently waiting for Dean to come back. His face was expressionless. He just looked tired and Dean hoped it was from lack of sleep and not because of him.

Dean walked to the end of the bed nervously, "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean," Castiel raised his eyebrow, "Enjoy your water?"

Dean heard the obvious bitter sarcasm and sat by Cas on the bed. He held his hands together in his lap and glanced at Castiel, "Cas, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just walked out like that."

"I just wish you'd trust me enough to talk to me, Dean. You do this all the time. Have you noticed? Every time a conversation gets too serious, you just walk out of the room," Castiel spoke soft, but clear, not looking at Dean.

"Cas," Dean sighed sadly, turning his body towards him, "I do trust you, with my life."

"Yeah, but not with your heart," Castiel met his eyes and they were dejected and exhausted. It broke Dean's heart and his throat felt tight.

"Cas, -"

"You just never let anyone in, Dean. You have this whole facade you put up, and you never let anyone see under it. I've only seen a glimpse of it and I thought we," Castiel paused a second, his lips pressed together, " I thought we were friends."

Dean was starting to feel desperate at the cut off look in Castiel's eyes, "Cas, I just - look we are friends, okay? You're my best friend and I would tell you anything. Believe me. And I do show more of the real me to you than I do to other people. But there's some things... there are some things I try to keep to myself. But those are my problems and you shouldn't have to deal with them, too."

Castiel's wall broke and his face was no longer expressionless. It was broken, "Dean, you are not some burden to me, no matter how many problems you have. Your problems? Your feelings? They are not baggage, not to me"

"Yeah, you say that now, but once you see how fucked up I really am, you...you won't want anything to do with me and if you do, it's only out of pity," Dean looked down at his hands.

"Dean," Castiel reached over and grabbed Dean's hands and met his eyes, "I have never looked at you with pity, only with concern, because I worry. I would not just cut you off, because you have problems. You have to believe me, you have to trust me."

Dean searched his eyes, but just saw solid confidence in what Cas was saying. He looked half mad, willing Dean to believe him through his eyes if his words weren't making any impact. Castiel's hands were still in Dean's lap intertwined with his own. They had both been leaning towards each other subconsciously and Dean thought he had never been so close to Castiel. Not since that night he kissed him. The memory made Dean's eyes flicker down to Cas's lips and Cas caught the movement. Dean gazed back into his eyes and the moment was so surreal neither of them broke contact, fearing they'd lose the moment if they did. Dean's heart was hammering in his chest and his limbs felt like they weren't even there, numb and he couldn't move them. Castiel's hands stilled in his and Dean whispered in a tender voice, not leaving Casiel's eyes, "Yeah, Cas, I trust you."

Dean poured everything he had into those three words, not wanting Castiel to think anything different. Castiel had somehow came to the conclusion that Dean didn't talk about his feelings, because of Cas. He couldn't let Cas think that, think that he was in some way inadequate in their relationship. If it was anyone's fault it was Dean's.

Dean tilted his head towards Castiel and he could feel his breath on his face. It still smelled like the wine they had had earlier and it made Dean think that maybe it wasn't so bad. It was a sweet smell and Dean felt like he could get drunk off of it, or maybe that was just because it was Cas. Castiel's grip on his hands loosened as his lips parted and he said in a small voice, "Dean."

Dean leaned forward and almost closed the distance when a loud ringing caused them both to jump away from each other. They looked startled over at the phone on the bedside table and turned to each other both red as a beet. The phone was playing Black and Black by AC/DC, so it was Dean's phone. He sluggishly got up to answer it, cursing to himself in his head.

He cleared his throat before letting out an annoyed, "Hello?"

"Hey, Dean," an excited Sam replied, chipper than ever.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, "Sam, what the hell!? Do you have any idea what time it is here?"

There was a quick pause before, "Oh, I forgot about that. What time is it there?"

"Well past midnight," Dean answered irritably.

Sam sounded less energetic, "Oh, sorry about that. It's still five here."

"Was there something you needed?" Dean tried to ask nicer, but was still pretty pissed about his little brother cockblocking him.

"No, I just -," Sam cut off and Dean could practically hear the clocks turning in his head, "Wait, did I - did I interrupt anything?"

Dean's face got redder, even though Sam couldn't possibly know, "What? No."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. I'm sorry, Dean. Just go back to whatever you were doing. I'll get a world clock and call you tomorrow."

Sam hung up the phone and Dean slowly pulled it away from his ear, shaking his head. He looked at Cas and laughed nervously, "Yeah, that was Sammy. He, uh, forgot about the time difference."

Cas nodded, "What did he want?"

"I don't know, said he'd call back tomorrow, but he sounded pretty excited whatever it was."

Castiel nodded again and Dean didn't know how to act. They had just been about to kiss, right? Dean really wanted to get back to it, but didn't know how. It's not like he could say lamely, "Now, where were we?" like they were in some cheesy movie. So, he settled for, "It is getting pretty late. We should get some sleep."

Castiel looked at the clock and groaned, "How did it get so late? It's already one. You know Gabriel is going to drag us out of here at ungodly hour in the morning."

Dean kicked off his boots, "Yeah, I know. Sorry."

Castiel rolled his eyes, "It's not your fault."

Dean gave him a small smile before grabbing his bag and searching for something to change into. Afterwards, he crawled into bed with Castiel who had already buried himself under the covers. The bed was huge like the one they shared in Venice, but they still seemed to drift closer to each other, at the edge of their pillows, their heads nearly touching. Not that either of them minded.

Dean was about to fall asleep when he felt Castiel grab his hand. His eyes shot open and his heart stopped. He turned his head and he could barely see Castiel's face in the dark lit room, but he found his vibrant eyes. They were staring up at the ceiling, not meeting his.

"Dean," Castiel spoke, his rough voice coming out softly, "I don't want you to speak about yourself like that again."

Dean's throat closed at how serious he sounded and Cas continued, "Dean, you are a good person and are good enough in every way."

Castiel looked at him and his blue eyes were intense and made Dean catch his breath before he managed to choke out, "Thanks, Cas."

"If you ever feel like that again, promise you'll come and talk to me. Don't keep that kind of stuff bottled up, it'll kill you," Castiel's sharp stare didn't leave Dean.

Dean gave him a lopsided smile, "Yeah, okay, Cas. I promise."

Castiel nodded his head and returned the smile, "Good. Now go to sleep."

Dean chuckled, but listened and closed his eyes again. He didn't hit unconsciousness before Cas did, though. Dean opened his eyes to the steady breathing of the man beside him. Castiel must have been exhausted from worrying about Dean and all his bullshit to fall asleep so quickly. Dean resisted the urge to reach out and move the hair out of his face. He sighed heavily in the quiet room. He never would have thought he'd fall for Castiel so hard but he had. With everything Cas did for him, he found himself loving him even more, even though he didn't see how that was possible. But Cas had always been there for him and kept surprising him by never leaving even after all the bullshit Dean probably put him through. Of course Dean wanted more, but he could deal with the way things are now. As long as Cas stayed, Dean would be whatever Cas wanted him to be.

_Castiel ran across the small apartment opening door after door, but never found him. The doors just led to nowhere, brick walls and darkness. He slammed them angrily and kept screaming Dean's name. There was never a response. He started to feel panicked and his heart hammered in his ears and a giant clocked ticked loudly._

_Over and over like a record player, a voice said, "You'll never find him and time's running out. You're going to be too late."_

_He didn't know where it came from and he whirled around frantically, but he was alone. It was a chilling sultry voice and it frightened him. He didn't understand what was going on nor what would happen if time did run out. But he searched nonetheless in the endless hallway._

_For what had felt like a millennium, there was never an answer to his calls, but then it came. A soft whisper, broken and scared, "Cas."_

_"Dean?" Castiel stopped in his tracks and spun around so fast he felt dizzy. He was still alone and the whisper didn't respond. Cas ran off again, searching every empty room after the other with no luck._

_A part of him told himself he was too late and time had ran out. The sultry voice had stopped discouraging him and that was worse than when she was yelling. The clock was not ticking anymore, but the ringing continued on letting him know he had failed. A part of him knew that, but he still went on, never willing to give up._

_There was a garage door at the end of the hallway and he sprinted towards it. It had to be it. He pulled up and found Dean working on a car. He sighed in relief, "Dean, finally."_

_Dean narrowed his eyes at him as he walked over. Castiel grabbed his hands and tugged, "Come on, let's go to bed. I''m tired of all this running."_

_Dean jerked his arm away and shook his head, "No, I don't think so. I don't sleep with married men."_

_Castiel's heart stopped, "What?"_

_Dean nodded towards his hand and Cas looked down. There was a gold band resting on his left hand. Castiel could barely breathe, "No, no, this isn't right."_

_Dean shrugged and went back to the car. Castiel reached out to him, but he was too far away._

_"Darling, what are you doing here? Let's go home," a smooth voice came from behind him._

_Castiel whirled around and saw Balthazar's out stretched hand. He stared at it, more confused than ever. Then, he saw it. A matching gold band to his own._

Castiel woke up in a cold sweat, his breathing heavy. It was still dark outside. He anxiously looked to his right. Dean was laying there fast asleep. Castiel let out a deep sigh of relief. He looked down at his left hand still interlocked with Dean's and it was bare. He laughed softly to himself. It had only been a dream, but as Cas closed his eyes, the feeling in his stomach wouldn't go away and left him with a fear he couldn't place.

They woke up in the morning to loud banging on the door again. If their still entangled fingers bothered either of them, neither cared enough to comment.


	8. Ragazzo Triste

Their day of sight seeing was as much like it was in Venice. They seemed to have made their own little group; Gabriel, Anna, Castiel, and Dean. Castiel dragged them all to random art museums, not that anyone complained and then they went out for lunch again. They hit some shops and drove back to Balthazar's for dinner. Dean and Castiel sat far away from Balthazar at the table and he didn't bother them, which came to much relief to Dean as well as Castiel.

When they went up to their room, Dean undid a few buttons of his shirt, tired and ready for a shower. But Castiel had other plans. He stopped Dean from taking off his boots, "Dean, wait."

Dean looked at him confused, "What?"

Castiel just gave him an excited grin, "I want to go see the Palazzo Vecchio."

"The what?"

Castiel rolled his eyes impatient, "It's one of the palaces in the city and it has amazing art."

"Cas," Dean groaned, "We just spent the whole day looking at art. Haven't you had enough?"

Castiel stepped towards him and grabbed his hands, "Come on, Dean. We didn't get to go today and it's so much more beautiful at night. Please?"

Dean was tired and his feet hurt from walking all day. He just wanted a hot shower and to go to sleep. But one look into Castiel's pleading blue eyes and he was a goner. He'd just have to accept the fact that he'd probably never be able to deny the man anything. Dean sighed, "Okay, Cas."

Castiel's grin widened, "Grab a jacket and I'll go get keys to one of the cars."

Half a second later and Cas was out the door. Dean chuckled at his excitement and looked for his leather jacket he had bought with Anna.

Castiel knocked on Gabriel's door, wishing it wasn't his older brother who had the keys. He knew Gabriel would find some way to tease him about this. He always did.

Castiel heard a muffled, "Alright, already! Don't get your panties in a bunch!" before Gabriel answered the door.

"Hey there, Cassie. I don't have any Cosmo magazines to tell you eight new ways to please your man. Ask Anna," Gabriel went to close the door, but Castiel put his foot out. Gabriel gave him an exasperated look.

"That's not it. I need to borrow the keys."

"They keys?" Gabriel raised his eyebrows.

"Yes, to the rental car," Castiel answered him in a smartass tone.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes, "No, really? I thought you meant to the Delorean."

Castiel gave him a pointed look.

"What do you need them for, anyway? Are you gonna go look for a store that sells Cosmo? Good luck."

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Would you let the Cosmo thing go already?"

Gabriel laughed, "Man, I got to tell Dean that story."

Castiel glared at him, "I've got plenty embarrassing stories to tell as well, Gabriel."

Gabriel smirked, "He's not my boyfriend. Go ahead, baby brother."

Castiel huffed, "Whatever. Are you going to give me the keys or not?"

Gabriel answered him by walking back into his room and returning with the keys in hand. He held them out for Castiel, but when Castiel went to take them, he closed his hand, "Uh uh. Not until you tell me where you going. I'm your big brother, got to make sure your not making any bad decisions."

"Gabriel, I am 23 and I don't think you have any room to speak about bad decisions."

Gabriel shrugged, "Fair enough, but come on tell me. My curiosity will keep me up tonight and I'll take out my sleep deprivation out on you tomorrow," and dropped the keys in his hand.

"If you must know, Dean and I are going to the Palazzo Vecchio."

Gabriel leaned on the door, "Oh, romantic. Night on the town."

Castiel nodded, his cheeks turning slightly pink, "Yes, well, goodnight, Gabriel."

Gabriel chuckled as Castiel turned away and called down the hall, "Have fun on your date, Cassie!"

Castiel turned the corner to see Dean waiting for him by the door, when he noticed Dean was on the phone.

"Well, yeah, it is earlier, but still - "

The other person on the line cut him off and Dean sighed, "Okay, okay. What's so important you're wasting international calling cost on?"

Castiel walked forward to where Dean could see him. He didn't want to be caught ease dropping. Dean noticed him and smiled at him, but it faltered at whatever the person on the other line said.

"That's - that's great, Sammy, but don't you think you're a little young to be making a decision like that? You're only 19."

Dean rolled his eyes at the answer, "Yeah, okay, I get it. I mean, who am I to be giving you relationship advice?"

Castiel frowned at the hurt in Dean's voice and Dean avoided his eyes.

"No, no, you did. It's fine. I mean you're right, what do I know?"

Castiel could practically hear Sam trying to fix whatever he had just said. But Dean didn't seem to want to hear any of it.

"Look, I'm happy for you. Congratulations and all. Call me later to know how it goes," Dean hung up the phone, interrupting Sam's rejections.

Dean smiled at Cas, "You got the keys?"

Castiel nodded wordlessly. Dean turned and opened the door for them to walk out. Castiel walked beside him silently on the way to their car. Though Dean gave him reassuring smiles, he still looked pretty bothered by whatever had happened with Sam. But Castiel didn't push. Dean had promised him if something was wrong he'd tell him and he trusted that.

As Castiel drove them towards the city, Dean looked for a station he liked on the radio. Dean finally settled on one and leaned back in his seat. After a moment, he started humming along to the song that was playing. Castiel smiled, because Dean probably didn't even know.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You like this?" Castiel raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, well, it sounds familiar," Dean shrugged.

Castiel chuckled, "Well, that makes more sense."

"Am I missing something here, Cas?"

"This song is Ragazzo Triste by Patty Pravo."

Dean waited, but Cas didn't go on, "And?"

"It's her version of But You're Mine by Sonny and Cher."

"Oh, is it just translated to Italian?"

"Not exactly, but they have the same jest."

They were quiet listening to the song and then Dean murmured, "My mom really liked Sonny and Cher, not as much as the Beatles, but I heard them just as much growing up."

Castiel smiled, "It's a good song. Do you remember the lyrics?"

Dean shook his head, "Not really. I just know I've heard it before."

_Of course he didn't._ Castiel sighed. It was really ironic that he didn't, though. Maybe if he listened to it, he'd understand that Castiel didn't care what people thought of him or their relationship. He'd have to get him to listen to it someday.

Another song passed, before Dean blurted out, "Sam's proposing to Jess."

Castiel tried to hide his shock as he waited for Dean to continue.

"I told him he was too young to be getting married. The kid's only 19 for christ sakes! He's not ready for that. Mortgages, babies, soccer practices, and college funds."

"I don't think he's thought that far ahead, Dean."

"Exactly. He hasn't thought about it, not really."

"Dean," Castiel tried to help him see Sam's side, "He's in love and wants to be with her for the rest of his life. I think that's all he's thought about. Isn't that all there is to it, though?"

Dean stared blankly at him.

Castiel went on, "All that other stuff comes later. I think if Sam thinks he's ready, you should to. Sam wouldn't have told you beforehand if he wasn't serious about it."

Dean dragged his hand down his face, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Dean looked out the window, "When I told him what I thought, he said, 'What would you know, Dean? Like you've ever even been in a real relationship. What now that you're with Cas, you're suddenly the love guru?' " Dean chuckled humorlessly and spoke under his breath, "And that's not even real."

Castiel frowned, "Dean, he only said that because he didn't want to be told he was wrong, especially by you, and not because of your relationship record, but because you're his brother. He just wanted you to be happy for him. He's probably really nervous about it and wanted a pep talk."

Dean smiled, "You always been this insightful, Cas? What happened to the guy who thought I was using sarcasm whenever I called him my best friend?"

The corners of Cas's mouth twitched at the memory of his first year with Dean, "I guess you've taught me well."

Castiel parked as close as he could to the Palazzo Vecchio and the rest of the way, they'd have to walk. It was just a few streets, besides it was a nice night out. There wasn't as many people out as there were in the day, but there was still quite a crowd.

Castiel went through the same routine of dragging Dean to every painting and explaining each one to him. Dean didn't mind, though. Castiel showed a different side to him when he was absorbed in the art, a different smile, a different gleam in his eyes. Dean loved every part of Castiel, even his crazy artist side.

The guards started telling them they were about to close for the night and Castiel reluctantly left with Dean holding back a smile at Cas's kicked puppy face. It was adorable and no man should look so adorable. It was unfair.

They walked down a street that was parallel to the water and people kept almost running into them. Castiel slipped his hand into Dean's and winked at him, "So, you won't get separated and lost."

Dean laughed, "I'm not a child, Cas." But he squeezed Castiel's hand, anyway.

After a few minutes of walking, Castiel tugged on Dean's hand, "You should call Sam and let him know you're okay with him marrying Jess."

Dean sighed, but nodded and pulled out his phone. His phone bill was going to be hell this month.

Sam answered after a few rings, "Hello?"

"Sam, I, uh, wanted to tell you to go for it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, if you're serious about it, man."

"Thanks, Dean," Sam paused, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"Nah, don't worry about it."

"Alright. I'm glad you came around. I don't know what I would've done without my best man."

Dean chuckled, "Best man, huh?"

"Well, yeah, who else would it be?"

There was an awkward silence as the boys both thought of another obvious person and Dean felt his heart sink, "I'm sorry, Sammy."

"Yeah, me, too," Sam said softly, "I just wish he could have met her, you know. He would have loved her."

Dean repeated, "I'm sorry, Sammy."

"Dean, it's not your fault. You got to stop beating yourself up over that."

"Yeah, okay. Well, I'll talk to you later. Good luck."

"Thanks. Bye, Dean," Sam hung up the phone.

Castiel looked at him quizzically and Dean lied, "I was just apologizing for earlier." He hated himself for it, but he wasn't ready to go into the details with Cas about _that_, not yet.

Cas didn't say anything, but Dean knew he didn't believe him. He was just glad he wasn't calling him out on it. Castiel rubbed soothing circles into Dean's hand, though. Not asking, but comforting, nonetheless. Dean appreciated it.

They were still a couple streets away from their car, but Castiel was shivering. Dean raised his eyebrows, "So, you tell me to grab a jacket, but you don't get one for yourself?"

Castiel just just narrowed his eyes at him with his mouth in a hard line.

Dean rolled his eyes and made a move to shrug off his jacket, but Castiel stopped him, "Dean, you don't have to. I'm fine."

"No, you're freezing your ass off."

"I'm fine," Castiel said sternly.

"_Fine_," Dean gave up, but looked at Cas from out of the corner of his eye. He still looked really cold.

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders running his hand up and down Castiel's arm. He met Castiel's eyes with a smirk, "Is this okay?"

Castiel nodded and leaned into Dean. Then, he slipped his arm around Dean's waist under his jacket and snuggled in closer to the warmth.

Dean chuckled, "Stubborn ass. Should've just let me give you my jacket if you were so damn cold."

"This is fine."

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Castiel closer, "Whatever you say, Cas."

Castiel leaned his head on Dean's shoulder and mumbled, "Thank you, Dean."

Dean ignored the thought to kiss Castiel's ruffled hair and sighed, "Anytime, Cas."

They strolled down the pathway, neither of them wanting to reach the car any time soon, looking like lovers to anyone who glanced at them.

"Anytime."

"Gabriel," Balthazar said surprised walking into the kitchen, "Didn't expect to see you here."

Gabriel put another spoonnful of ice cream in his mouth, "Late night snack. I assume you don't mind?"

Balthazar shrugged grabbing another carton from the freezer for himself. Gabriel was hopped up on the counter with his legs crossed. Balthazar leaned beside him.

"How's Kali?" Batlhazar asked conversationally.

"Probably enjoying the quiet week to herself."

"You left her to run the shop?"

"She didn't want to come this year. There's some problems going on in her family and she felt uneasy leaving them to themselves."

"Oh, so the business doing well, then?"

"Yeah, best bakery in town," Gabriel smirked smugly before another spoonfull.

"I meant the franchise, Gabriel," Balthazar chuckled.

"They're good I guess. I don't really care about them as much as the original Sugar Bites. I built that one from the ground up and still run it myself to this day."

"Good thing you could expand, though. You must make a lot of profit."

Gabriel sighed, "What's with all of you and your bags of money? You know there's more important things out there, right?"

Balthazar glanced at Gabirel's raised eyebrows, "Sorry. I just haven't found something to justify the 'Money can't buy happiness' unlike you've seemed to."

Gabriel saw the sadness behind Balthazar's smirk. He'd known him most of his life, he knew him pretty well. Sure, he had dated Cassie, but they were friends long before that. "You will, Balthzy."

Batlhazar didn't reply as they continued to eat unhealthy amounts of ice cream. After a moment of silence, he spoke quietly, "I noticed one of the cars is gone."

"Uh, yeah, Castiel and Dean went out," Gabriel said uneasily.

Balthazar nodded and then asked, "I was an asshole at dinner the other night, wasn't I?"

"Oh, yeah, great big bag of dicks," Gabriel answered bluntly.

"I suppose I should apologize," Balthazar looked sadly at the now empty carton.

"I wouldn't try with Cassie first, he'd probably snap your neck."

Balthazar was taken aback, but then chuckled, "And what? Dean wouldn't?"

"Well, you insulted him not Cassie, so - if it had been the other way, he wouldn't be so mad, but Cassie - he, well, you insulted," Gabriel made confusing gestures with his hands as he tried to explain, "his boyfriend and you're more defensive of your loved ones than yourself, so -"

Balthazar cut him off, "Okay, I get it, Gabe."

"Be careful with Dean, too, though," Gabirel warned, "Remember you used to date his boyfriend."

Balthazar nodded, "Yes, I'll keep that in mind."

Gabriel looked out of the corner of his eye at Balthazar thinking deeply about something and he groaned, "Batlhazar, no."

"No?" Balthazar gave him a confused look.

"Don't tell me you - you don't, do you? I knew you really liked him when you dated, but - no, right?"

Balthazar shrugged, "Don't worry, Gabriel. I won't act immature again."

"So, that's why you were being a douchebag?"

"What? You think I'm like that by nature for no reason?"

Gabirel nodded and was welcomed with a hard shove from Balthazar, "Ass."

Gabriel laughed, hoping off the counter and throwing his empty carton in the trash. He patted Balthazar on the back, "How about I set you up with someone who's not family?"

"I'll be fine, Gabriel," Batlhazar walked ahead of Gabriel through the kitchen door.

"Did you drink an espresso or something? How are you still so energized?" Dean asked in disbelief. When they had got back, he immediately took a shower and got ready to fall asleep not a second after. While Castiel had only changed into something more comfortable and pulled out a sketch pad. He sat cross legged at the foot of the bed, so Dean didn't catch a glance as he collapsed against the pillows.

"I just had to get something out of my head. I wouldn't have been able to sleep with it stuck there," Castiel sketched intently.

Dean chuckled, "You always have to get something out of your head."

Castiel smiled, "Yes, it's become a common occurrence."

"You think someday you'll show me what it is?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel stopped and glanced at him. He hadn't really considered that Dean would actually want to see it. He knew he was curious about the sketch pads he hid away, but everyone was. "You really want to know?"

Dean sat upright excited, "Yes."

Castiel laughed and returned back to his drawing, "Then, I'll show you, someday."

Dean groaned and fell back, "Tease."

Castiel grinned as he added finishing details. After a minute, Dean finally overcame his laziness and actually got under the covers. But he didn't fall asleep, even after all of his insistence at being tired as hell. He just looked on curiously as Castiel drew.

"Dean, you're staring," Castiel paused and raised his eyebrows at Dean.

Dean blushed slightly, "Well, I like to watch you draw -okay, that sounded creepy. I mean, it's really amazing watching how intense you are and then to see what you come up with."

Castiel felt his neck warm at Dean's compliment, but he didn't respond right away. A moment passed and Castiel spoke without looking up, "I will show you someday, Dean. Just not tonight."

Dean grinned, "Can't wait."

Castiel finished a few minutes later and he put his things away. He turned out the light and crawled into bed with Dean. Dean fell asleep quickly afterwards. Castiel thought about how easy it was to sleep with Dean. It didn't feel weird, but almost natural, like they had been doing it forever, when in reality it had only been a few nights. Castiel hadn't had better sleep, though. He felt safe and secure with Dean lying next to him, warm and comfortable. He dreaded going back to Kansas, back to their normal life, where him and Dean weren't together, where Castiel couldn't get away with things like he could now. No, back in Kansas without people to fake in front of there'd be no excuses. Castiel couldn't simply reach out and grab Dean's hand as they were watching a movie and it not be a big deal. Because that wouldn't be fake, that would be real. Castiel was starting to see that that was what he wanted, though, because the act didn't feel like as much as an act anymore. Not to him. But he wasn't sure what Dean was feeling anymore after the other night with Balthazar and especially after tonight. There wasn't anyone around to pretend in front of them then, but it didn't feel any different from acting as a couple. Well, actually it did feel different. It felt better, sincere and _pure_.

Castiel glanced over at Dean's vulnerable face as he slept and sighed. He wondered if he'd ever get to feel that way again. He wanted to, but he wanted Dean to feel it as well or there would be no point.

Castiel fell asleep with the scent of leather and the soft voice of Patty Pravo in his head.


	9. Are you trying to seduce me, Winchester?

It was their last day in Florence and another day filled with Castiel dragging Dean to, he couldn't even believe there was more, art museums. He still didn't mind it, as long as Cas kept smiling he was happy. That night Balthazar took the family out to some fancy smancy restaurant, but Dean didn't complain. The food was good.

Once they were back in their room, Dean pulled out a shopping bag from under the bed and nodded for Castiel to come over.

Cas walked over wearily at Dean's mischievous grin, "What?"

Dean pulled out a bottle of wine from the bag, "Since, I was sick of this sweet cheap wine we keep drinking, I took it upon myself to buy some that was actually good."

Castiel laughed, "Dean, I don't think I would say the wine we've been drinking is cheap."

Dean shrugged, "Well, it taste like it."

Dean got off the bed and went over to balcony, "Come on."

Castiel followed him out and found Dean climbing on to the roof. There was an area that was wide and flat. Dean layed back on it. Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean's spontaneous midnight-drinking-wine-on-the-roof, but climbed up and layed beside him, nonetheless.

Dean took a swig from the bottle, "Yes, that is much better, not too sweet."

Castiel took a drink himself, "It's not too bad."

Dean shook his head, "You love it. Just admit it, Cas"

"Okay, Dean. I'll admit it, you have great taste in wine," Cas said sarcastically.

"See? Wasn't too hard," Dean turned his head and smiled at Castiel.

Castiel chuckled, "Dean, why are we up on the roof?"

"Wow, way to ruin the moment, Cas. I buy you nice wine, climb on top of the roof so we can enjoy the night and look at the stars, and you don't even appreciate it," Dean shook his head at Cas.

Castiel chuckled, "What? Are you trying to seduce me, Winchester?"

"Maybe," Dean winked playfully and if it wasn't so dark out he would've seen Cas blush.

They lay there in comfortable silence drinking the wine with Castiel occasionally pointing out constellations to Dean. The night grew cold, though, and they scooted closer to each other for warmth, their arms touching. At some point, Cas's hand had slipped into Dean's. Dean didn't comment, but Castiel saw the small smile. Again, Castiel was wondering when it had become so natural to do that, so casual, like they did it all the time, which is what it felt like now.

Castiel subconsciously started stroking his thumb across Dean's skin in soothing circles like he usually did when they held hands. Dean wondered if he even knew he did it.

"That's really comforting," Dean whispered barely audible without thinking.

Castiel didn't comment, but leaned his head on Dean's shoulder. His hair was tickling Dean's chin and Dean rested his head against his. Dean had never felt so content, even with the rough roof underneath him.

"Hey, Cas?"

"Hm?"

"Do you ever think about the future?"

Castiel shrugged, "Sometimes."

"What do you see?"

Castiel thought for a moment, "I see myself owning my own art studio."

"Oh, yeah?"

"And my best friend cooking cheeseburgers in the kitchen," Castiel added.

Dean grinned at that and chuckled, "I'm not some housewife, Cas. Why don't you ever make me burgers?"

"Because I'd burn the house down. Do you even remember the last time I tried?"

Dean snorted remembering, "Good point."

After a moment, Castiel asked, "What do you see?"

Dean pressed his lips together and in response to his silence, Cas lifted his head, "Dean?"

Dean was going to give him a witty reply, but he was taken aback by how close Cas's face was to his. He was only inches away. Dean could smell the wine off of his breath. He felt his heart rate pick up and could swear Cas could hear it. He glanced at Castie's lips and almost leaned in before he caught himself.

He hopped up and held out his hand for Castiel, "Come on, let's get some sleep. Early flight in the morning."

Castiel took his hand, still trying to process what had just happened, or almost just happened, again. They scrambled back into their warm room with the half drunk bottle of wine and passed out on their bed moments later.

Castiel woke up with a bolt and looked around the darkened room for what had jolted him awake. The moonlight shone through the open balcony, but there wasn't a breeze, so he wasn't awoken by the cold. He glanced at the sleeping Dean next to him and found his answer.

Dean was tossing and turning violently in his sleep. Cold sweat covered his face and neck. The bed sheets were in twist around his legs and Dean had the most pained and vulnerable expression Castiel had ever seen on him. It tortured Castiel to see Dean like that.

Castiel shook Dean's shoulder lightly, "Dean, you're having a nightmare."

Dean didn't wake, but he clutched onto Castiel's arm. Castiel heard him mumbling in his sleep. It was mostly unintelligible, but Castiel caught bits and pieces.

"It's so hot," Dean whispered, "The burns..."

"Dean," Castiel tried again, but Dean just gripped tighter on his arm.

"No, no, I have...go back. Mom,... please."

Castiel sighed, his heart aching at seeing Dean like this. It scared him a bit. What was he dreaming about? What haunted him so bad to make him in this state?

Castiel layed back down on his side and looked helplessly at Dean. He wasn't going to wake up, unless Castiel shook him awake and he didn't want to do that. He ran his fingers through Dean's hair soothingly with his free hand. It didn't stop Dean's pained expression or his inconsistent mumbling, but his body calmed and the grip on Castiel's wrist lessened. Castiel had an idea.

He pulled Dean into his arms where Dean rested his head on Castiel's chest. Castiel, then started to lightly stroked Dean's back. Dean's breathing eventually slowed and his pained expression eased. Castiel was thankful. Whatever was going through Dean's mind truly tormented him and Castiel wanted Dean to never think about it again. Dean wasn't one to show fear or cowardice, it's probably why it had frightened Castiel so much. Dean always put up a brave front, so Castiel didn't think Dean was afraid of anything, but obviously he had been being naive. Dean put up that wall for a reason, he wasn't born with it.

Castiel fell back asleep with Dean still cradled in his arms, worrying about for reasons he didn't even know. But with Dean so close to him, sleep came easily. Dean was right there, safe and sound.

Dean woke up with someone's arms wrapped around him. He willed himself to go back to sleep and didn't open his eyes. He nestled himself deeper into the other person and in response the arms tightened. There wasn't even the smell of sweat and sex in the air. It had to be best he had ever woken up. He was warm and comfortable. He didn't want it to end.

But at some point, Dean became a little more aware of his surroundings and where he was. He opened his eyes and peaked at the face above him. He was met with black stubble and dark sex hair that was tossed in every which way. It took a minute for his mind to register it was Cas and that it was Cas's arms wrapped around him. What? Had he crawled into Cas's arms in the middle of the night and Cas subconsciously held him?

Well, whatever had happened, Dean knew he should probably detach himself from Cas before he woke up and things got awkward real fast. But he _really_ didn't want to. He stared up at Cas's sleeping face. He really was beautiful. Dean wondered how he hadn't noticed a long time ago. Dean rested his head back down on Castiel's cotton tee and enjoyed the moment a little longer. He was so damn comfortable, he contemplated just going back to sleep and dealing with whatever awkwardness occurred later. At the moment, it seemed kinda worth it.

But Dean didn't get to decide as the someone started knocking on their door. Castiel's didn't move an inch, though. But the incisive knocking would soon wake him up. "Dammit," Dean cursed under his breath before, regrettably, easing out of Cas's arms.

Dean tried not to be as grumpy as he was when he opened the door. But he couldn't help it. Whoever this was had interrupted a really good morning. Dean opened the door slightly as to not wake up Castiel.

"Good morning, Dean," Mrs. Novak greeted him, "Hope I didn't wake you?"

Dean plastered a smile on his face, "Oh, no, I was already up."

Rebecca grinned, "Good. Um, is Castiel awake?"

Dean glanced back into the room. Castiel was still in the same position he had left him. "No, not yet."

Dean looked back at Rebecca and she frowned. Dean asked her a little worried at her expression, "Is there something wrong?"

Rebecca bit her lip, deciding something in her mind. After a minute, she seemed to have decided something and she pulled Dean by his wrist into the hall. Dean was giving her a questioning look, when she nodded to the still open door. Dean closed it with a soft click.

"It's probably nothing to worry about, but..." Rebecca trailed off and her worried face was giving Dean anxiety.

"Just tell me what's wrong," Dean told her softly.

She sighed and shook her head, "I'm just being a worried mother. It's just that Anna went out last night and she hasn't come back. We leave in about two hours for Rome and it's not like her to be this late. I understand she's an adult but she's always been back early if when we're on vacation. But here it is nearly seven o'clock and she's nowhere in sight."

"Did you try calling her? Maybe she had too many bears and didn't want to drive, crashed at a hotel or something?"

Rebecca shook her head, "Anna doesn't really drink and she won't answer her phone."

"Um," Dean didn't exactly know what to do. Rebecca seemed like she was overreacting and Anna was an _adult_. But Dean knew his mom would react the same way if they were on a trip and he just disappeared. He tried to calm Mrs. Novak down.

"What if Balthazar went to go look for her? He knows the city pretty well," Dean suggested.

"Everyone went out for breakfast. I told Chuck I'd wait here for Anna. He replied by telling me I was being ridiculous, but..."

"Okay, what if - wait _everyone_ left? What about me and Cas? You know we eat, too," Dean joked but still found it odd. Everyone usually went out together.

"Oh, um," Rebecca smiled a little, "Michael came by to get you, but you wouldn't answer the door."

"Oh," Dean replied not really believing it. What? Did Cas's family not like him after all and decide to ditch him along with Cas?

"Then," Rebecca continued, "Gabriel barged into your room and...well, he decided you guys looked...comfortable and didn't want to wake you. He actually said something else, but I'm not repeating it."

Dean blushed remembering the position he had woken up in. He was never going to hear the end of it from Gabriel. Rebecca didn't meet his eyes and actually avoided looking at him at all. Dean suddenly became aware he was dressed in just a tee and boxers. His blush deepened.

Dean rushed to escape the awkward atmosphere, "So, anyway, back to Anna?"

"Yes, I was actually hoping Castiel would go look for her. He knows the city better than I do."

Dean glanced back at the bedroom door with the adorable sleeping Cas behind it. He turned back to Rebecca, "Well, I could go look for her if you want?"

Rebecca looked at him with surprise, "Dean, I don't want to seem to be rude, but I don't know. You don't know the city that well. What if you got lost?"

Dean shrugged, "I know it well enough. Cas and I went out the other night and it feels like he's dragged me to every museum. I won't go that deep into the city, but it's better than sitting around worrying what happened, right?"

Rebecca gave him a grateful smile, "Do you want me to go with?"

"Nah, I'll be fine."

Rebecca pulled him into a hug, "Thank you, Dean."

Dean snuck back into their room and grabbed a pair of jeans off the floor, tugging them on. He grabbed his cell phone and with one last look over his shoulder at Cas walked out the door.

Castiel woke up to an empty bed feeling cold. Dean was no where in sight and the spot next to him wasn't even warm. Castiel checked the bathroom, but the light was off and the water wasn't running. Castiel got dressed and walked downstairs. He guessed Dean had gone down for breakfast and didn't feel like waking him.

But Dean wasn't there, _no one_ was there. Where had everybody gone? Castiel sauntered around trying to find someone in this over-sized house. After what seemed like forever, he heard voices coming from the foyer.

"Come on, Balthzy, that waitress-"

Castiel turned the corner to find mostly everyone coming in, he assumed from breakfast. But he didn't see Dean. He looked for Anna to ask her, but she wasn't there either.

He walked over to Gabriel, "Is Dean with you?"

Gabriel looked at him puzzled, "Um, no?"

"Didn't you just come from breakfast, though?"

"Yeah, but he didn't come with us. You two looked so damn intimate this morning, arms wrapped around each other, I didn't want to wake you," Gabriel winked.

Castiel blushed slightly, but was too worried to really care what his brother had seen. Where the hell had Dean gone?

Gabriel caught on, "What? He wasn't there when you woke up?"

"No."

Gabriel thought for a minute, "Ask Mom, she didn't go with us. She wanted to wait for Anna."

Castiel looked at him confused, "Anna? Why? Where's she gone?"

Gabriel shrugged, "That's the thing, we don't know. She left after dinner last night, but hasn't come back. I told Mom not to worry, but you know how she is."

Castiel nodded and went off to find his mother. After she explained where he was, Castiel's worry grew more. Of course Dean would think a few days out on the tourist area of Florence would be good enough to run a search party.

"Why didn't you wake me to go look? Dean has the worst sense of direction and would never ask someone for directions. He's probably lost somewhere in Florence by now."

Rebecca waved her hand, "Castiel, honey, I'm sure he's fine."

"When did he leave?"

"Seven," Rebecca answered calmly as she folder clothes into her suitcase.

"It's nearly eight thirty!"

Rebecca gave him a confused expression, "Castiel, it's fine. If they're not back by nine, we'll just depart later. It's our plane."

Castiel rolled his eyes, "I'm not worried about the damn plane. How could you send someone who hasn't been in Florence for not even three days to go search the city for someone?"

Rebecca was taken aback by Castiel's tone, "He offered. He said he wouldn't go deep in the city. Castiel, I know you're worried, but I'm sure he's fine. Call him if you don't believe me."

Castiel pulled out his phone and dialed Dean's number. He probably was overreacting and if he was he was sure he got it from his mother. As it rang, though, Castiel's worry didn't lessen. The call went to voicemail. Something tugged at Castiel's stomach from inside and twisted unpleasantly. Something was wrong, he just knew it. Castiel tried Dean again. No answer. Once more. No answer.

"He's not answering," Castiel told his mother.

Rebecca looked up from her packing and looked worried for the first time. She walked over to Castiel, "Well, maybe he didn't take his phone?"

Castiel shook his head. It hadn't been on the bedside table when he left the room.

"Well-"

Rebecca was caught off by Castiel's phone ringing. He answered immediately with a wave of relief, "Dean, I was starting to worr-

"Castiel!" Anna's voice cried on the other line.

"Anna?" Castiel felt his chest constrict at her voice.

"Castiel," Castiel could barely understand her between her broken sobs, "I-I'm so sorry, Castiel."

"Anna, what's wrong? Did Dean find you? Are you okay?"

"He-he - Castiel, this is all my fault," Anna continued to cry on the other line.

"Anna! Tell me what happened," Castiel tried to remain calm, but he just couldn't, not when Anna was talking like that.

"It's Dean," Anna tried to stable her breathing, "He's in the hospital. Cas, it doesn't look good."

Castiel felt his heart stop and he was paralyzed as Anna spouted the address of the hospital. But as soon as she finished his phone fell to the floor and he sprinted for the front door. His mother called after him sounding panicked and asking what was going on, but he didn't stop. He found the keys on the table and not twenty seconds later he was pulling out of the driveway. He sped all the way to the hospital, probably breaking several laws. But he didn't care. All that bounced around his head was _It doesn't look good. It doesn't look good._ over and over. Tears threatened to pour over as Castiel tried to tell himself Dean would be okay. Because if he wasn't, how would Castiel ever be?

- Thirty Minutes Earlier-

Dean strolled down the sidewalk, wondering how he was ever going to find Anna in this big ass city. Dean didn't want to tell her mother, but maybe Anna had hit off with someone last night and was just having a slow morning. Dean almost gave up and headed back to the car, when he caught a glimpse of red hair.

He backtracked and looked through the coffee shop window again. There she was. In a coffee shop with her head in her hands. Dean chuckled to himself before walking in.

He walked over to her table, "I can't believe I actually found you."

Anna looked up startled at him and winced at the movement. She groaned and put her head back in her arms on the table. Dean knew the look. She was hungover.

He sat down in the seat beside her and decided to tease her, "Oh, Anna-banana, you look like hell."

She didn't look up but flipped him off, "How did you find me? What are you even doing here?"

"Your mom," Dean stated simply.

"I'm a grown woman if I want to stay out all night I can."

"Yeah, I know. She knows that, too. She's just worried."

Anna ungraciously lifted her head up and dived into her coffee. Dean chuckled at her smeared makeup and barely combed hair. She glared at him.

"Someone got lucky last night," Dean wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Anna smiled, "I wasn't even going to drink that much, but then I met this guy and we hit it off. Oh my god, he is so flexible. He could-"

Dean put his hand up, "No, no, no, I don't want a detailed story."

Anna laughed, "Then, don't tease me, while I'm hungover."

"Your mother said you didn't drink."

"Not that much," Anna shrugged and added with a grin, "Usually."

Dean shook his head at what that smile implied, "Don't want to hear it. You're my boyfriend's sister. I don't want to hear about your sex life."

Anna rolled her eyes, "I was going to order something to eat. Want anything?"

Dean stood up, "Sure, just get me anything. I'm going to call Cas. He should be up by now. He's probably wondering where I am."

Anna walked to the counter, while Dean stepped outside. The sidewalk was more crowded now and loud, so Dean hovered near the edge of the store near an alley. He pulled his phone out, only for it to be snatched out of his hand.

Dean looked up angrily, "What the hell!?"

He was welcomed with a hard shove against the wall. Dean barley had time to understand what was happening before two fist socked him in the stomach. He doubled over and dropped to the floor. He couldn't breath and there were voices above him screaming something he didn't understand. Gravel flew at his face as well as kicks that felt like they were being directed at his whole body. Dean was usually a good fighter and he could probably kick these guys asses if he hadn't been caught off guard, but he was and now he was starting to see black.


	10. Did true loves kiss wake you up?

"Castiel," Anna lightly touched his shoulder, "Gabe and I are going to get everyone coffee. Would you want some or anything else? Whatever it is, we'll get it. We know you don't want to leave him."

Castiel didn't look up at her and spoke in a slightly cracked voice, "Just a coffee."

Anna gave him a soft smile that he didn't see and walked out of the room with Gabriel. Castiel rested his arms on the edge of Dean's bed and layed his head on them, staring up at Dean. His heart beat monitor beeped behind him and the screen that showed his vitals said everything was okay, but nothing stopped Castiel's worry. Dean's body was covered in scrapes and bruises along with two cracked ribs and a broken leg. Nothing was fatal, though. Anna had just been hysterical at the sight of Dean when she found him. Castiel didn't see, but he could imagine and he tried not to. Dean may still lay unconscious, but the doctor said he didn't have any fractures in his skull, which had been a great relief. When Castiel had asked when he would wake up, the doctor pretty much just shrugged at him. So, there was Castiel, just waiting by Dean's bed for him to wake up, never leaving his side.

Michael walked in then and frowned at Castiel, "Castiel, I told you he will be okay. Stop staring at him like he might disappear."

Castiel didn't comment, but felt a slight ease at Michael's words. After Dean's doctor had checked him out, Castiel asked Michael to look over everything and make sure the doctor didn't miss anything. Castiel hadn't been trying to question the doctor, but Michael was the only doctor he'd put Dean's life in. Michael had said that the doctor had done a good job, though.

Michael went and stood next to Castiel and shoved a sub sandwich in his face, "Eat something."

Castiel was going to reject it, when his stomach grumbled and he realized how hungry he was. He took the sandwich, "Thank you, Michael, for everything."

Michael waved his hand, "Don't worry about it. Dean's with you so he's like an extra brother and I look out for my brothers."

Castiel looked at him shocked, but smiled touched. Michael wasn't the kind of guy to outright show his feelings, he and Dean were similar in that sense. He usually showed he cared by expensive gifts and rarely anything else. Castiel didn't hear a lot of things like that from him, actual affection. Castiel just wished some of his siblings could at least show as much affection as him. Well, besides, Gabriel and Anna. They had really been the only ones Castiel thought actually cared about him beyond his ambitions in life. There was Samandriel, too, but he kept to himself.

Michael sat in one of the chairs across the room and flipped threw a magazine, saying nothing else. His father was around here somewhere, but besides him, Michael, Gabe, and Anna, everyone else had gone back to Balthazar's after the first couple of hours. Although, Raphael had surprisingly stayed with Anna as she talked to the police. He had acted as a lawyer, demanding the attackers to be found and persecuted, but Castiel felt that that had been his way of showing support or at least he hoped. Raphael left after that along with everyone else. His mother told him she would have stayed, but she wanted to make arrangements for Dean to have a comfortable flight back home when he was released. She even called to inform Dean's boss he would probably need another week off. She had also offered to call the Winchesters, but Castiel felt he should do that.

The call had been difficult to make, especially with Mary saying she was going to fly over. She had been so worried and in shock. It broke Castiel's heart he let her son get hurt like that. After he reassured her, though, that Dean was going to be fine and he would be home in a day or two, she calmed down. The call with was still ringing through Castiel's head.

"Well, I know he's in good hands over there. I trust you to take care of him, Castiel. You're real good for him, you know. He changed after he met you, he was _happier_. I thought he had given up, but you saved him. I can never thank you enough for that."

Castiel had replied in shock, "But I-I didn't do anything."

Castiel could practically hear Mary's smile, "Oh, but you did, though. Well, I'll let you go. Remember you can get some rest, too. Dean's not going to disappear from that hospital bed if you shut your eyes for a few minutes. I know you're just being a statue by his bed."

"Okay, Mary."

Mary chuckled, "You actually remembered to call me Mary? Thank God, that Mrs. Winchester manner was making me feel old. Anyway, watch over my boy and get some rest, Castiel. Love you, bye."

Castiel had smiled as the call ended, always feeling warm after talking to the Winchester matriarch. She was such a kind woman and had opened her arms and her home to Castiel when they first met. She showed him more love than his own mother did at times. It made Castiel feel even worse looking at Dean now. If he hadn't been selfish and dragged Dean out to Italy, he wouldn't be lying unconscious in a hospital bed right now and his mother wouldn't be worrying herself sick thousands of miles away. Castiel was going insane with guilt and his chest ached looking at Dean's beat body. How could he ever forgive himself for this?

With his sandwich finished, Castiel returned back to his resting position at the edge of Dean's bed and decided to take Mary's advice. They had been here all day and the whole night. It was nearing one in the morning. Castiel's whole body felt tired as well as his mind. His eyes burned from unshed tears and his throat was sore from sobs he held back. He had never felt so worn out.

He told Michael, "Wake me up if the doctor comes in with more news."

Michael nodded at him, glad Castiel was finally resting. His little brother almost looked worse than Dean if you ignored the bruises. When he met Dean, he had thought he was just acting as a cover for Castiel to get their mother off Castiel's back about his nonexistent sex life. But after seeing them the past few days, there was no denying they cared deeply for each other. Michael had never seen anything like it. They didn't even touch that often, but their eyes spoke a thousand words. Michael had been in the same room with Kali and Gabriel fiercely making out in front of him and that had felt less awkward than Dean and Castiel just simply _looking_ at each other. It was ridiculous, but Michael was happy Castiel had found someone like Dean, nevertheless.

He remembered hearing about Dean years ago. How he had saved Castiel's car after the transmission went out and then Castiel ran into him at the university. They became friends and haven't separated since. Though, Michael hadn't met or known Dean back then, he saw the shift in Castiel. He picked his head up more and his stance was more relaxed. It was like he was finally comfortable in his own skin. Castiel was happier, he was content, and Michael knew it had to have been Dean that had unwound Castiel. Michael was thankful for Dean and if he covered the medical bill without telling anyone and said it was the insurance, who would notice?

Mr. Novak walked in, then, and glanced at Castiel with a sigh of relief, "Thank God, he finally went to sleep. Thought I was going to have to slip him something."

Michael chuckled, "Yes, hopefully he'll get in a few of hours."

Mr. Novak nodded in agreement and sat beside Michael. After a moment, he said what everyone was thinking, "Who would do this?"

Michael put his magazine down, "I don't know. They weren't mugging him. Dean still had his wallet on him."

Mr. Novak frowned, "Could it have been a hate crime? Some people saw Dean and Cas acting more intimate than friends would?"

"I don't know. Maybe? It feels like it's something else, though. Let's hope it was just something stupid like that and not something serious."

"Well, what else could it have been?"

Michael didn't answer his father, not wanting the man to release his wrath on the person he had in his mind. He just shrugged and looked back over at his little brother sleeping beside his hospitalized boyfriend. Michael wouldn't tell his father his suspicions, unless he had had evidence and even then, he would like to take the matter into his own hands. People didn't just mess with the Novaks and get away with it. His dad brought him up to protect his family and that he would.

Gabriel and Anna returned with the coffee, which Michael took grateful and put Castiel's aside for later. Then, Mr. Novak took Gabriel and Anna back to Balthazar's after. Michael offered to stay and watch over the two.

Dean woke up with his chest and his leg hurting like hell along with his head throbbing. He felt weak all over and there was something tugging at his wrist. He opened his eyes and was met with the blank walls and cold atmosphere of a hospital room. His right leg was wrapped in a cast on the bed. He looked to his left and saw Castiel sleeping on his arms besides Dean's waist. Dean sat up slightly and regretted it immediately as he was welcomed with pain everywhere.

It took Dean a moment to remember what had happened. Even then, he still didn't know what had actually happened. Some guys had attacked him for no damn reason and apparently beat the shit out of him if him lying in a hospital bed was proof enough. It annoyed Dean that the bastards had snuck up on him, if it had been a fair fight he was sure he would've kicked their asses and he wouldn't look half as bad as he probably did.

Dean's eyes fell back on Castiel's ruffled hair and his exhausted face. Dean must've worried the hell out of him. He felt like shit for doing that to Cas. Dean reached out and ran his fingers through his hair. Castiel leaned into the touch like a cat. Dean chuckled at the analogy and was welcomed with a sharp pain in his chest. He must've broken a couple ribs if he guessed right. He let out a small gasp of pain and it was loud enough to wake Castiel.

"Dean?" Castiel looked at him with wide eyes.

"Sorry, Cas, didn't mean to wake you-"

Castiel stood up from his chair and threw his arms around Dean and buried his head in Dean's shoulder. Dean caught him and tried not to wince in pain as Castiel gripped him tightly. Dean patted his back and joked, "What? Do I look that bad? I wasn't going to die, Cas."

Castiel didn't respond but shook in Dean's arms. Dean's joking smile faded, "Cas?"

"Anna...she said that it didn't look good and you've been unconscious for almost a whole day," Castiel whispered so low Dean wouldn't have heard him if he wasn't right next to his ear, "I-I thought...Dean, I thought I lost you."

Dean leaned back and looked at Castiel's face. He had tears running down his face and he looked so broken. Dean couldn't stand it. He brought his hand to Cas's face and wiped away the tears with his thumb. He pulled him back into his arms and fell back against the pillow, dragging Cas with him nearly on top of him. Dean ignored the pain that followed, just focused on Cas. This time, Dean soothed Cas; a hand stroking his back and one in his hair. Dean spoke softly and kissed Castiel's hair, though Castiel could have imagined that part, "Cas, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Castiel lay there for a minute in Dean's arms and then he laughed, "Dean, I should be comforting _you_ not the other way around. I'm probably hurting you right now, aren't I?"

Dean shrugged, "I'm fine."

Castiel looked up and saw the lie in Dean's expression. He lept off of Dean as gently as he could. Dean looked regretful as Cas sat down in the chair and he groaned, "Cas, I'm not a freaking China doll."

"You fractured two ribs and have a broken leg."

Dean rolled his eyes, "That's nothing."

Castiel gave Dean doubtful eyes and then Michael walked back in with another coffee. He stopped in his step, "Oh, hey, Dean. Glad to see you up. Castiel was going out of his mind."

Dean glanced at Castiel who avoided his eyes, but he knew he had really freaked Castiel out. He settled his hand on his and squeezed it. Castiel smiled slightly.

Michael said, "I'll go tell the doctor you're awake," and walked back out the door.

Dean gazed at Castiel. His hair was a mess, his eye bags had eye bags, and his clothes were all wrinkled. It caused a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with the broken ribs, knowing he was the cause of Castiel's distress and sleep deprivation.

Dean ran his thumb across Castiel's skin like Cas would do to him. But Cas didn't respond, he didn't even turn his hand up.

Dean sighed and held out his hand palm up, "My hand's not broken, is it?"

Castiel interlocked their fingers and smirked playfully, "Dean, you're very clingy, you know that?"

Dean winked back at him.

The doctor said Dean could go home after another day. The police still had to come by and get his statement, anyway. Dean argued with Castiel about going back to Kansas, because he didn't want to ruin the traditional Novak vacation.

"Dean, don't worry about it. You're not ruining anything. Michael's taking us back, then returning for the others. They're going to Rome, while they wait for him to come back with the plane," Castiel told him as Dean ate his disgusting lunch. Even in Italy, the hospital food sucked.

"Us?" Dean asked.

"Well, of course I'm going back with you. Who's going to take care of you?"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Cas, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I don't need a babysitter."

Castiel raised his eyebrows, "Dean, you can't even walk."

Dean didn't respond, because he knew Cas had a point.

Castiel looked down at his hands in his lap, "Well, I understand if you don't want me to, but then you should at least go home to your parents if so."

Dean frowned, "Cas, no, that's not it. I just don't want you to feel obligated to."

"I don't."

Dean smiled, "Alright, then, I'm staying at the Cas Suite."

Castiel returned the smile and then Gabriel burst into the room then, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty! Did the true loves kiss wake you up?"

Castiel and Dean both blushed. Gabriel just rolled his eyes and muttered something about them acting like a couple teenager girls with a crush.

"Hey, where's Anna? I haven't seen her," Dean asked then paused, considering something, "Wait, she didn't get hurt, too, did she? Is she okay?"

Castiel quickly assured Dean, "No, she's fine, Dean."

Dean sighed relieved, "Okay, then where is she? Still recovering from her hangover?"

Gabriel and Castiel exchanged a look that implied they knew something Dean didn't.

"What?" Dean asked.

Castiel sighed, "Anna,...thinks it's her fault you're in the hospital. I think she's scared to come and see you."

"What? That's ridiculous. It's not her fault. Give me my phone," Dean held out his hand.

"No can do, buddy," Gabriel said as he sunk into one of the chairs with a cooking magazine in hand, "Those assholes broke it."

"Well, tell her to come by," Dean looked at Castiel who pulled out his phone and sent off a text to Anna telling her Dean wanted to see her. She replied she'd be there in a while.

"Maybe she'll listen to you, because it's definitely not _her_ fault," Castiel sighed.

Dean frowned, guessing exactly what Castiel was thinking. But he didn't want to call him out on it with his brother in the room.

"Hey, Gabe, do me a favor?" Dean called over to Gabe.

"What is it, Deano?"

"Think you can go get me some real food?" Dean gestured to his plate, "This taste like crap."

Gabriel nodded, taking the hint and walked out. As soon as he left, Dean looked at Castiel with raised eyebrows.

"What?" Castiel asked innocently.

"Cas, do you think this is _your_ fault?"

Castiel didn't answer and that was all the confirmation Dean needed. He let out a heavy breath.

"Cas, this isn't your fault. This isn't _anyone's_ fault, besides the assholes who attacked me."

"Well, I'm the one who dragged you out here, made you pretend to be something you're not and look where it's gotten you. You're in a hospital bed for Christ's sakes! How is this _not_ my fault?" Castiel stood up from his chair and turned to walk away, but Dean caught his wrist.

"Hey, you didn't make me do anything. I agreed to this, my own choices. You didn't know it would have me end up in the hospital. Come on, Cas. I don't blame you so don't blame yourself."

Castiel looked Dean in the eye and Dean met his gaze with a pleading look. Castiel sighed, giving in. Dean didn't need to be stressing over what was running through Castiel's mind, anyway. He still didn't think he could forgive himself, though. He sat back down and slipped his hand into Dean's nonchalantly.

Castiel stared at their interlocked fingers for a minute and then said without looking up, "When did this stop being -"

A knock on the door interrupted the question and they both looked up startled. Two officers stood there. Castiel let go of Dean's hand and walked over to greet them. He explained Dean didn't speak Italian and he would act as the translator.

They already knew this jest of the story, but they still needed to hear Dean's side of it. After Castiel relayed it to them, one of them asked, "Essi urlando a voi?"

Dean looked at Cas for translation and he said, "They're asking if the attackers were yelling at you."

Dean nodded and then they went through things they could have been saying to see if Dean recognized any of the words. It was still a free for all for why Dean had been attacked. The main thing they could do right now was determine whether it was random or not. They went through a list of racial slurs and then homophobic slurs, but Dean said none of it was familiar.

One of the officers sighed, "Quindi, questa non era una coincidenza. Sapevano chi erano attaccare. Vi è stato un bersaglio."

Castiel frowned and Dean had a confused expression, "What?"

"They said the attackers probably knew who they were attacking. It was premeditated."

"But I don't even know anyone over here," Dean answered. What the hell was going on? Why would someone want to attack him? He hasn't done anything to provoke that sort of reaction. He hasn't even talked to anyone outside of the Novaks besides the bartender, Benny, back in Venice.

Castiel stared off into the distance, "I know. That's why it's weird. Is there anyone back home who would want to hurt you?"

"Probably, but someone who would follow me all the way to fucking Italy? No."

Castiel nodded and said goodbye to the officers who promised to get back to them with any news. Castiel was just starting to feel better about this since Dean finally woke up, but now this happened. The worry that someone was going to hurt Dean was never going to go away until they caught them and it was eating away at Castiel. He didn't know what he could do to protect Dean. Though, Dean would probably argue he could handle it himself and he didn't need any guardian angel, Castiel couldn't help how he felt. He never wanted to see Dean beat up on a hospital bed knocked out unconscious ever again.

An hour or so later, Anna finally came by with Raphael in tow. She looked at Dean with a sad face from the door, not stepping in. She had tear stains on her cheeks she hadn't bothered to wash away and she still had most of her hangover look, though she had brushed her hair.

Castiel stepped into the hall with Raphael to update him on what the cops had said since he was acting as a sort of legal adviser. Anna was left alone with Dean. She didn't move an inch from the closed door.

"Anna," Dean exclaimed exaggerated, "Come here."

Anna walked toward the bed tentatively, avoiding Dean's eyes. Dean patted a spot on the bed and she sat down. After a moment, she just mumbled, "I'm sorry, Dean."

"For what?"

She gave him an incredulous look, "This is my fault. If I had just gone back to Balthazar's you wouldn't have come to look for me and get your ass kicked."

"What's with you Novaks and your self guilt? Anna this isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself, it doesn't make any sense to. I don't blame you."

Anna nodded and gave him a small smile, but then it slipped, "Wait? Novaks? Does Castiel blame himself?"

Dean nodded, "I talked to him about it, but I don't know if I changed his mind or not. Castiel's pretty stubborn."

Anna gave him a sympathetic look, "He was pretty torn up about it, you know? I've never seen Castiel like that."

"Yeah, I know."

Anna shook her head, "No, I don't think you do. When I found you, Dean, it was _bad_. There was blood everywhere and you were unconscious. You looked like hell. Dean, I didn't know if you were even going to pull through. That sounds dramatic, but that's what it looked like. I didn't know what had happened.

Castiel, he- he was pale and shaking when he arrived at the hospital. Then, he had to go through all this bullshit of he wasn't _family_ so he didn't have access to what was going on with you. He was so angry that they wouldn't even tell him if you were going to be okay or not. He was so...broken, Dean, like his usual calm facade just shattered. He wouldn't even talk to anyone. He just asked me if I had seen who did it and when I told him no, he went back to pacing in the waiting room. When the doctor finally told him you were going to make it and it wasn't even that bad, he," Anna chuckled, "he got Michael to double check him. The expression on the doc's face was priceless you should have seen it. Then, Castiel had to call your mom and tell her. And if that wasn't hard enough, she had to call and like give permission or something for us to stay with you after visiting hours. I don't know exactly how that worked, but she got us approved.

Castiel, he's been through hell and back. It took forever for him to fall asleep and he wouldn't eat anything either. Nothing we said eased his worries, not even Michael. In his mind all he could think about was that you were still unconscious and there was no certainty you were even going to wake up. Dean, you mean a lot to my little brother. Whatever it is you two have going on here, don't fuck it up."

Dean nodded slowly in shock after everything he had heard, "Yeah, Anna, I won't."

She smiled, "Good, because I'd have to kick your ass if you did."

Dean held up his hands, "And I wouldn't blame you."

Anna laughed lightly as Castiel walked back in, "What's so funny?"

Anna got off the bed, "Oh, nothing."

Castiel narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't comment. Anna smiled at him innocently and then ran off to find where Raphael had gone. Castiel walked back over to Dean's bed and sat down.

"When do I get this cast off?" Dean groaned after a few seconds, glaring at his leg. The damn thing was annoying. He couldn't walk without crutches and then he'd have to keep those with him everywhere he went. The whole thing was such a pain.

Castiel chuckled, "Just over a month, Dean. The doctor said it wasn't that bad of a fracture, so it's not that long."

Dean groaned again falling back on his pillow, "How in the hell am I supposed to work?"

"Bobby gave you another week off and when I talked to him he said you could work behind a desk or something, doing paper work."

"Paper work?" Dean cringed.

"Yes, Dean. What else are you supposed to do? You can't work on cars with just one leg."

"Dammit, now I'm pissed. When they find these bastards, I'm beating them to a pulp."

Castiel rolled his eyes. Dean would be more upset over not being able to work than actually being attacked. Castiel guessed it was better than him wanting to go and find them and kick their asses, though. If he did, it'd be hell to convince him to just rest and stay still. It had been hard for Castiel to just sit here while they were still out there, but he didn't have any leads at the time and Dean needed him here. Castiel had never seen so much red before. He had been so overwhelmed with all the emotions earlier; anger, despair, worry, hope, sadness, fatigue. They were in more sorts now, though. Castiel let his anger ease, because they would pay for what they did to Dean, he'd make sure of it.


	11. Would you say today is someday?

Castiel was exiting an interview with an art curator, when his phone started ringing. He pulled it out right away, always on alert in case it was Dean needing something, but the caller ID read Sam.

"Hello, Sam," Castiel answered.

"Hey, Cas," Sam's distracted voice came from the other end, "How are you doing?"

"A bit exhausted, honestly," Castiel sighed unlocking his car, "I haven't talked to you in a while. It's good to hear from you, though. How are you?"

"Well," Sam paused for a moment, "Actually, I'm in town. Thought I'd come check on Dean. But I used the key he gave me and no one's home. You know where he is? He shouldn't be out in his condition."

"Oh," Castiel felt awkward, "He's, uh, at my place."

"Oh," Sam said surprised, "I hadn't thought of that. So, what? You playing doctor, Cas?" Sam laughed at the end and Castiel felt his cheeks redden at the implication even though, Sam couldn't possibly see him.

Castiel chuckled along awkwardly, "Guess so. Hey, how about you meet me at the cafe by my apartment? You know the place? Then, we'll go check up on Dean."

"Sure," Sam agreed, but Castiel could hear him wondering why, "See you in a few."

Castiel had to tell Sam. He couldn't make Dean lie to his own brother, trying to keep up with what Castiel had thrown him into. He knew the boys didn't keep many secrets from each other and that this one would kill Dean. Castiel figured telling Sam would be extremely awkward, but he was sometimes pretty awkward himself.

Sam listened to Castiel's explanation with a nodding head. He had been really quiet through the whole thing, which had put Castiel on edge. He said he understood why they did it, though he wished his mom hadn't been told. Dean probably hated lying to her just as much. Castiel's guilt grew more. But Sam smiled and ignored Castiel's apologies, though, there was still something off. It seemed like something was nagging at the back of Sam's head, but he wasn't going to tell Castiel.

Castiel walked into his room with a trailing Sam behind him to find Dean curled up in his bed, well, as much as he could with his casted leg.

"His pain meds make him really drowsy," Castiel explained as it was five in the afternoon.

He walked over to Dean and shook his shoulder lightly, "Dean, Sam's here."

After more shaking, Dean woke up groggily, but immediately brightened when he saw Sam, "Sammy, what the hell you doing here?"

"Hey, Dean. Thought I'd come check on you. God, you can't even leave the country without getting in a fight?" Sam joked with a smirk.

Dean glared at him, but it was only half-hearted, "Shuttup, bitch."

"Jerk," Sam instantly responded.

Castiel smiled at the brothers bickering, before asking Dean, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Are you going to try and cook again?" Dean gave Castiel a scared face and Sam chuckled as he fell into the desk chair. It was almost ridiculous how incredibly small it looked under him.

Castiel rolled his eyes, "That soup was _fine_, Dean."

Dean raised his eyebrows, "Really, Cas? It was burnt. How do you even burn soup?"

"No, it _wasn't_," Castiel argued for what felt like the billionth time. He had tried the soup and it had tasted fine to him. Totally not burnt. "Whatever, I'm going to go get something. Sam, do you want anything?"

Sam shook his head with an amused grin and Castiel walked out of the room with his trench coat flying behind him. Dean turned to Sam with a serious look, "Dude, it was _burnt_. I can't believe he burned soup. I'm starting to doubt if he can even make cereal."

Sam laughed, "It couldn't have been that _bad_."

"Oh, no, it was," Dean shook his head, "This is why I always cook. He'd end up poisoning us both."

Sam held back a grin. Did Dean even hear himself? He was saying in their _relationship_, Dean was the cook. It was like something a couple would do; argue over who had what role. Of course, Dean was still under the assumption Sam thought they were dating, but Sam had a feeling Dean wasn't even trying to play that up. Sam had been really happy to hear these two had gotten their heads out of their asses and then to hear it wasn't real? Well, Sam had had enough and he was going to have to do something about it himself if. He was tired of the unresolved sexual tension every time he visited. If he couldn't all but throw them in the closet together and wait for them to come out, he could at least push a little.

"Was that the first time he cooked for you?" Sam asked.

"Nah, he's attempted before. He tried to make burgers once, and," Dean chuckled, "well, we had to call the fire department."

"At least he's trying, that's sweet of him, right? To cook for you and take care of you?" Sam tried to keep a straight face. If he was going to do this, he had to act like Dean would expect him to.

Dean gave him a weird look, "What're you? A twelve year old girl?" But Sam saw the slight tinge of pink that he was aiming for.

"Dean, you don't have to be embarrassed to talk about things like that," Sam stood up and strolled around the room looking at all the paintings on the walls. He noticed a common theme in all of them, but he wasn't going to comment on it at the moment. But he'd be sure to tell Cas someday.

Dean didn't respond and Sam casually asked, "When did you guys even get together? Before you went on vacation I thought you guys were just friends."

"U-uh," Dean stuttered, but stuck with what he had told Balthazar, "Three months ago."

Sam glanced at his brother who avoided his eyes. Sam held back a smirk. "So," he continued, "How'd it happen? Have you always had a thing for Cas?"

"Sam," Dean groaned, "What's with the chick talk?"

Sam shrugged innocently, "Come on, Dean. You're my brother and Cas is my friend, too. I just want to know what happened. Can you blame me? I mean this was kind of sprung on us."

Dean sighed, "Yeah, I know."

"So?" Sam pushed, enjoying himself a little too much.

Dean glared, but told him anyway, "Well, Cas has been my best friend for years now and - well, I don't know when I started seeing him differently really. I don't think it was recently, but - yeah, I guess it has been a while."

Sam listened quietly, now sitting at the edge of the bed by Dean's feet. Sam knew Dean pretty well and could tell when he was lying, but his face was openly honest. Sam guessed that after having to fake it, Dean had finally realized his feelings or at least acknowledged them. But from the looks of it, he hadn't done anything about it.

Dean continued, "His family, they decided it was about time for Cas to get into a relationship. Crazy, right? We're only 23 and they're already considering beneficial in-laws. Anyway, it seemed like Cas was going out on dates every weekend. These guys he got set up with were all these snooty doctors and lawyers that took him out to the most expensive restaurants in town. Seriously, Sammy, these guys that came and picked him up were - "

Dean cut off at Sam's grin and lamely finished, "Long story short, I got jealous and took him out myself."

"So, are you guys all good? Isn't it weird changing the relationship suddenly like that?"

"Well," Dean thought for a minute about all that had happened in the past week, how it had been acting in front of the Novaks, how easy it had been. "You'd think so, but not really. It just seemed...natural, I guess? Like nothing had changed really just...certain things. But yeah, we're good."

Sam nodded and reached for a sketchpad that was on the floor curiously. He must've knocked it over earlier and not noticed since all the others were stacked neatly in piles around them. The sketchpad was spread wide open.

"Sammy, don't. That's Cas's -," Dean tried to reach for Sam and snatch it away, but the quick movement caused a pain in his chest. He took a sharp breath and Sam looked at him worried.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Dean leaned back into the mountain of pillows behind him, "Just put that back."

Sam stood up, staring at the page that it was opened to. His mouth dropped a little in awe and then he smiled. Castiel really was an amazing artist and he really captured it perfectly. It was beautiful all the little details Cas had managed to catch. Sam was surprised it wasn't a photograph.

When Sam didn't put the sketch pad away, Dean said, "Sammy, those sketch pads are Cas's personal stuff. Don't look through them."

"Okay, okay," Sam raised his hands in surrender and closed the book setting it on the dresser, "Geez, you sure are protective."

Dean rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. He was curious as to what was in those books even more now, though. What had it been to make Sam smile like that? It wasn't a fucking bowl of fruit, so what was it? He had ignored his curiosity over the years, telling himself it wasn't any of his business, but damn if it wasn't itching at his mind.

After a moment, Dean just asked, "Hey, uh, so, what was it? In the sketch pad?"

Sam raised his eyebrows, "What happened to privacy?"

Dean glared at him. His brother had to argue with him about everything, didn't he?

"What? Cas doesn't even show _you_ them?"

"No," Dean looked down at the rumpled sheets.

"Well, I saw -," Sam paused at the insane look in Dean's eyes that were dripping in curiosity and decided against telling him. It had been a while since he had something to hold over his brother and this was becoming fun. "Nah, you know what? I'm not gonna tell you. If Cas wants to show you, he'll show you."

"Bullshit, you're just not telling me to mess with me."

"Yeah, well, there's that, too," Sam grinned and Dean threw a pillow at him.

_**DIVIDER**_

Sam left a while after Castiel got back with an excuse of meeting up with Jess for dinner. He tried to leave quickly before Dean figured out Cas had told him the truth and murdered him for screwing with him.

"Cas, you're being ridiculous," Dean said exasperated as Castiel put dozens of pillows under his leg.

"Dean, the doctor said to keep your leg elevated while you sleep and I don't have a recliner so this is the best we can do."

Dean sighed. Castiel had got the feeling that Dean hated to be taken care of or pampered in any way. Of course, he didn't mind taking care of other people, but when it came to himself he'd rather be his own doctor. It was only the second day since they'd been back and Castiel could swear he had heard the phrases, "I'll be fine" , "It's fine" , and "I'm fine" at least fifty times. Then, there was Dean's constant protest of being stuck in bed all day with nothing to do. Castiel understood, but if it was only the second day and he was already complaining, then next week was going to be hell.

Castiel unzipped the suitcase he had used to bring some of Dean's things over while he stayed here, so he'd have some of his own things. Castiel held up DVD cases to Dean, "Since you won't stop whining about being bored, I brought your Dr. Sexy collection for you to watch."

Dean took them from Castiel's hands with a grin, "You're awesome."

"And your infatuation with Dr. Sexy is bordering on obsessive," Castiel teased.

"Oh, shuttup, is not," Dean set the cases on the bedside table.

Castiel changed into something more comfortable, turned out the lights, and climbed into bed with Dean. They hadn't talked about it, continuing to share a bed when they didn't have to. The first night, hyped up on drugs, Dean had practically pulled Castiel down on to the bed with him. But Castiel didn't object. He was comfortable there, even though his bed was slightly smaller than the ones they had shared in Italy. It also put his mind at ease. If Dean needed something, he was only an arms length away and Castiel didn't have to worry.

They layed in the dark for a moment before Dean spoke softly, "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?" Castiel looked over to Dean staring up at the ceiling.

"Thanks," Dean turned his head and gave Castiel a small smile, "for, uh, taking care of me."

"Of course," Castiel returned the smile and Dean snaked his hand into Castiel's under the sheets, playing with his fingers absent mindedly.

Dean looked back at the ceiling, the fan silently rotating, and then asked faintly, "But why?"

Castiel scrunched his eyebrows together, "Why what?"

"Why do you care?"

Dean met his eyes with a face that reminded Castiel of a frightened child as if he feared the answer, but still felt the need to ask. Castiel didn't know what kind of answers were running through Dean's head, but he assumed Dean was denying all the good ones.

"Dean," Castiel stroked his thumb across Dean's skin, "People don't need reasons to care about each other, they just _do_."

It was true. There wasn't any specific reasons as to why Dean made Castiel happy, why Castiel would do anything for him, why Dean made his heart stutter. But there was also tons of reasons why. Castiel couldn't even bother to try and count them all. Dean was kind, compassionate, and caring. He was someone who had always been there for Castiel when he needed him. He was a man who, though couldn't find it in his heart to love himself, loved his family and friends with all he could. He was someone who didn't talk about his problems, but tried to help other people solve their's. He was one of the bravest and confident people Castiel knew. Castiel could go on forever, but the list would never end. He could never summarize why he loved Dean Winchester, just simply _that he did_ and he didn't need any justifications.

Dean's smile came back to his face and he looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. He just lightly squeezed Castiel's hand and mumbled, "You know I'd do the same for you, right?"

"I know."

_**DIVIDER**_

There was another loud ring and then, Dean muttered, "Dammit."

He turned and looked down at Cas, curled up against him like a cat. It was an amazing way to wake up. Castiel felt just right in his arms. He really didn't want to wake him, but he had to. His crutches were too far away for him to reach. It was starting to get really fucking annoying being disabled.

"Cas," Dean shook his shoulder with the arm that had somehow got wrapped around the sleeping man, "Hey, buddy, come on, get up."

Castiel stirred and when realized what position he was in, his cheeks tinted pink. He looked worriedly at Dean, "Oh, Dean, I, uh, I'm sorry. I don't know how- Did I hurt you?"

Dean gave him a confused expression and then chuckled, "What? No. Not that. Cas, you're phone is ringing. I can't exactly get up and get it, so..."

Castiel stared blankly at Dean, "My phone? You woke me up for my phone?"

"It won't stop ringing! Whoever it is has called like three times. How did it not wake you up?"

"I was having a good dream," Castiel mumbled rolling out of bed to get the ringing phone from his desk.

"Oh yeah? What about?"

Castiel looked away, "Nothing."

"Sure, Cas."

Castiel checked his phone, it was Michael.

"Michael?"

"Good morning, brother. Did I wake you?" Michael's deep voice answered.

"Not particularly. Did you need something?"

"Yes, well, the Florence PD called."

The blood in Castiel's veins ran cold, "They did? What did they say?"

"They caught the guys that put Dean in the hospital. A woman who owns a shop across the street saw the whole thing. I don't think Anna ever mentioned her. She ran over and waited with Anna for the medics. I don't think Anna knew she saw everything. She said she would testify if need be."

"Oh, well," Castiel scratched the back of his neck. He didn't really know what to think about it all right now. He didn't know exactly what happens next. He just blurted out, "What happens now? Are they talking? Why did they do it? Why-"

Michael cut him off, "Castiel, calm down. From what the police have told me, they're claiming it was a hate crime. Something about race. If Dean still wants to press charges, Raphael will represent him."

Castiel glanced at Dean, laying in his bed with a casted leg and a bedside table covered in medicine. Castiel could even still see some of the visible bruises that were now turning yellow. No, they were going to pay for doing this to Dean.

"I'll tell him. But race? Really? I thought we ruled that out."

Michael sighed on the other line, "I know, it doesn't sound right to me either. I'll check more into it and get back with you."

Castiel dragged a hand down his face, "Okay. Thank you again, Michael."

"Of course. Goodbye, Castiel. Tell Dean I wish him well," Michael hung up.

Castiel held the phone to his ear for a moment after the line went dead, still processing. Dean waited silently behind him.

Castiel turned around and he didn't know what his expression looked like, but it made Dean's smile drop.

"Cas?" Dean reached for his hand and pulled him toward the bed.

Castiel dropped his hand and climbed back onto the bed, then retrieved it not thinking about it. Dean looked at him expectantly as Castiel sat crosslegged in front of him.

"They caught the guys," Castiel said bluntly.

"Oh," Dean's face turned relieved, "Then, what's with the face? Isn't this a good thing?"

"Yes, but..."

"What?"

"It's," Castiel avoided his eyes, not really wanting to drag Dean into his worries, "It's just they're saying it was because of race."

Dean nodded for Castiel to continue.

"But we ruled hate crime out and this just - it just doesn't feel _right_."

Dean tugged on Cas's hand and pulled him to come lay beside him, "Cas, don't worry about it. They're locked up, out of sight, out of mind."

Castiel's scrunched up face didn't falter, "But if someone put them up to it, then-"

"Cas," Dean put his hand on Cas's cheek and made him look at him, "No one's after me, okay? I thought that was weird in the first place for someone to go that far for just me. Don't. Worry. About. Me. I'll be fine."

Castiel didn't leave Dean's eyes as he brought his hand up and wrapped it around Dean's. Their hands dropped to Castiel's lap. Castiel looked down and quietly said, "I just don't want you to get hurt like this again."

Dean brought his other hand to Cas's face again and moved it to the back of Cas's head. He ran his fingers through Cas's hair and smiled at him as he looked back up at him, "I won't, Cas."

Castiel let out a deep breath, "Okay."

"So," Dean removed his hand from Cas's head, "can you do me a favor, Cas?"

Castiel nodded and in that moment he knew he'd do anything Dean asked him to.

"I would say stop worrying about me, but I know you aren't going to do that. So, watch a Dr. Sexy marathon with me?"

Castiel chuckled at the hope in Dean's eyes, "Yeah, alright. It's about time I see why you're so obsessed with him, anyway."

"Awesome," Dean leaned back and grabbed the DVD's. He handed them to Cas and added, "And I am not obsessed."

After Castiel put the DVD's, he curled back up next to Dean. It was starting to get ridiculous how intimate they were becoming and still not talking about it. Castiel's head was about to explode with questions about what Dean was thinking when they held hands or what he felt when he woke up with Castiel in his arms. But Castiel held them back. For now.

A third hour into their little marathon and Dean was sure he had never been so content before. He was sure over the past week he's thought that a lot of times, but it just kept getting better. Castiel had unabashedly cuddled back into his side with Dean's arm around him. They had just layed there all day still in their pajamas and only moved to get something to eat. It had to be the best lazy day, Dean had ever had.

Questions were clawing at the back of Dean's head, though he tried to ignore them. Mainly, what were they even doing? What was their relationship anymore? The borders had all but been thrown out the window. It wasn't like after all they had been through the past week they could go back to "just friends", but they still hadn't actually acknowledged the change or step in their relationship. And Dean didn't know how to or even if he should. What if it shattered the moment? The fantasy they were living in? If it became awkward and that made it became a habit to make sure they weren't touching each other or acting overly friendly?

But what if it just got better? That was the thought that kept bouncing around in Dean's head the most. It sounded so tempting for this to get _better_ than it already was. Dean was sure he had fallen hard for Cas and he was happy being whatever Cas wanted him to be. But there was still that craving. Dean wanted to go further, wanted to be able to kiss Cas whenever he wanted, not just when they need to fake their relationship. He wanted Cas to be able to wake up in his arms and not feel the need to apologize and just snuggled deeper. Dean wanted more. He wanted _Cas _and in every way he could get him.

Dean was sick of lying to everyone. The weird cycle that it was if he had to explain it to someone; lying about loving Cas, when he really wasn't lying, he was lying about lying. It was just really confusing to think about. He just wanted to be able to tell people about how he felt about the man in his arms without it having to be a cover. Dean hated how muddy the relationship was, wondering what was real and what wasn't. He wanted it be clear.

As Dean was listing all of his wishes in his head, something occurred to him that had been bugging him. He looked down at Cas, who was now intently into the show, and tapped his arm to get his attention. Castiel tore his eyes away from the screen (_Yeah, who was obsessed, now?_) and peered up at Dean.

"Would you say today is someday?" Dean asked.

Castiel scrunched his eyebrows, "What?"

"You said you'd show me someday and well, isn't today someday?" Dean knew his logic wasn't sound, but his curiosity was going to end up killing him eventually.

Castiel stared at him confused until he remembered, "Oh, well, yeah, in that sense, I guess it is someday."

Dean brightened, "So, you'll finally show me?"

Castiel chuckled at his enthusiasm, "I'll tell you what, you can see one journal."

Dean nodded, waiting for him to continue and give more restrictions.

"And you can pick any of them," Castiel gestured around them where there was stack after of journals. Dean found it hard to get around the room sometimes, there was so many, and that was before he was on crutches.

Dean looked around, trying to remember where Sam had put the book he had looked at, but he couldn't, there were just too many. Dean felt slight anxiety at having to choose, knowing he'd probably never pick one of the really good ones with his luck.

"Okay, but if I pick one you don't want me to see, just say so," Dean said before he pointed at the stack that was on the right side of the window.

Castiel nodded and crawled out of Dean's arms. He walked over to the stack, "Alright, which?" The stack was about probably around thirty journals.

"The second one?" Dean asked.

Castiel grabbed it, not even knowing himself what was inside, and handed it to Dean.

Before turning the corner, Dean asked once more, "Is this one alright?"

Castiel shrugged, "I don't even remember what's inside that one, but I'm honestly fine with you looking through all of them."

"Then, why just one?"

Castiel smirked, "To watch you go insane with your curiosity."

Dean glared at him half-heartedly, "You're evil."

Castiel laughed climbing back into the bed next to Dean. He turned his attention back to the screen, not watching Dean's reaction. He knew he was tossing the coin in the air about what could be inside, but he was at the point where he'd let the universe decide.

Dean turned the cover and felt his heart almost stop at the image.

_**DIVIDER**_

The small blonde woman frowned, "Lei ha affermato che la polizia ha inviato?"

He smiled a charming grin he had learned to perfect over the years, "Sto lavorando con loro su questo caso. Ora, mi può dire esattamente ciò che hai sentito?"

"Si," the woman looked up at him with her dustcloth still in hand, "Essi erano molto forti. Stavano dicendo qualcosa di simile..."

She narrowed her eyes trying to remember, "Qualcosa per stare lontano da lui. Sembrava un amore quarrell effettivamente. Qualcuno geloso di qualcun altro. Mi dispiace non posso essere più specifico."

He smiled at her, "No, lei ha aiutato molto. La ringrazio. Buona giornata."

He stepped out of the small store and walked north, knowing exactly who he was going to go and see.

**Authors Note: I realized I never give you guys a translators note. I always give one on ao3, but theres a place for it. I'm sorry, angels. I'll include them from now on.**

**TN:** Lei ha affermato che la polizia ha inviato? - You said the police sent you?

Sto lavorando con loro su questo caso. Ora, mi può dire esattamente ciò che hai sentito? - I'm working with them on this case. Now, can you tell me what exactly you heard?"

Si, Essi erano molto forti. Stavano dicendo qualcosa di simile... - Yes, well, they were very loud. They were saying something like...

Qualcosa per stare lontano da lui. Sembrava un amore quarrell effettivamente. Qualcuno geloso di qualcun altro. Mi dispiace non posso essere più specifico - Something about staying away from him. It sounded like a love quarrel actually. Somebody jealous about someone else. I'm sorry I can't be more specific

No, lei ha aiutato molto. La ringrazio. Buona giornata. - No, you have helped a lot. Thank you. Have a good day.

**Authors Note: I am extremely sorry if there was ever confusion with when scenes ended and when they started. I hadn't realized that the dividers I put in place, which were three hyphens/asterisks, hadn't been saving and posting as such. But I'll put an obvious _DIVIDER_ where scenes end and again I'm very sorry, I should've realized something was wrong.**


	12. Nah, no death wish, just in love

"Cas, this is - is this what I think it is?" Dean couldn't take his off the page. The image was just so captivating and _amazing_. Goddamn, Cas could _draw_.

Castiel glanced at the page and inwardly breathed a sigh of relief, then chuckled, "Wow, that is _old_. I really need to organize these."

"Is this what you were doing that first night? When I begged you to come in, but you refused to even though it was nearing midnight and you were on my back porch in pajamas in the middle of December?" Dean tore his eyes away and smiled at Cas.

Castiel paused the DVD and met Dean's eyes, "I just - it was a very overwhelming day."

Dean nodded knowing Cas's comfort in any uncomfortable situation was art, but then something clicked and his stomach dropped, "Wait, did you - did you not want to be there? I know I kind of dragged you, but I thought..."

"No, it wasn't like that, Dean," Castiel quickly reassured Dean, a stabbing pain in his chest at the hurt on Dean's face. "It was the first time meeting your family and...there was just so many people and it was...different. Different from how my family is. Mary asked what? One question about how school was and then moved on to more personal things? More light-hearted things? While, in mine, that would've been all that was said. Your family - Winchesters, Singers, and Harvelles, everyone - they all just - I don't know? Cared? It might sound harsh saying that my family doesn't. They do, I just don't think it goes as deep. I - being at your house, that night, I learned the difference between a house and a _home_," Castiel finished with a breath.

Dean felt so much emotion in what Cas had just said and damn, he wanted to kiss him so bad and make sure he never felt like that ever again. Cas had told him over the years, or more_ hinted_ at what kind of family he grew up in, but he had never described it to Dean like that before. It pulled at something inside of him, thinking about what kind of house Cas had to come back to when he was a kid. A cold house with people running in every which way and only giving Cas attention by throwing books at him. It was no wonder he had been so introverted when Dean had first met him, sure he still was, but it wasn't as bad.

Dean beat his lust down and settled for resting his hand over Cas's. He didn't say anything, but he also knew he didn't have to. Anything that needed to be said was in that simple touch. Dean looked back down at the drawing, wanting to run his thumb across the indentions of the pencil, but knowing he'd ruin it if he did.

It was a tree, just a tree. In theory, such a basic idea, but Cas had made it so much more than that. The tree, itself, was detailed and beautiful. Then, Dean had realized it was the tree in his backyard, the one he had grown up with. It was almost ridiculous, to be able to actually recognize a tree, but it was that tree. Cas had caught every little detail; the way the branches curved, the deformity of the trunk, and even initials Dean's dad had carved into it when the newlywed Winchesters had moved in. Then, there were the additions Cas had made. Sitting on a branch was a small child, resembling Dean, and a smaller Sam climbing up the tree to reach Dean.

"Hey," Dean cleared his throat, "Can I have this?"

Castiel looked at him surprised, "You want it?"

"If that's okay?" Dean asked unsure.

Castiel nodded, "Yeah, sure."

Dean sat the spiral aside on the bedside dresser and wrapped his arm back around Cas. Castiel unpaused their marathon and they snuggled back into each other.

_**DIVIDER**_

"Michael?" Balthazar opened the door to a stone faced Novak.

Michael plastered his charming smile on his face, which made Balthazar even more intimidated, "Hello, Balthazar. You weren't busy were you?"

"Uh, no," Batlhazar stepped aside and let the Novak in.

Michael didn't beat around the bush, "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Me what?" Batlhazar looked at him confused.

"Who set those _thugs_ on Dean," Michael answered with a cold stare.

Balthazar laughed, "Sure, that was me. Come on, Michael, let's have a cup of tea or something. You seem on edge."

Balthazar made a move to walk away, but Michael didn't budge, "Balthazar, I'm serious."

"Oh, come off it, Michael," Balthazar groaned, but Michael didn't smile, "You've got to be joking. It was not me. Why the hell would I do that?"

Michael narrowed his eyes, "Balthazar, you are not as subtle as you think you may be. I know you have feelings for my little brother."

Balthazar sighed and his shoulders dropped, "Okay, well, whether or not that's true. I still did not set anyone on Dean. I'm not that much of an ass and I know how to deal with not getting what I want. _Healthily_, I might add. I most certainly wouldn't attack the other man. Who the hell does that?"

Michael studied Balthazar trying to find a lie in his features, but he seemed to be telling the truth. Michael raised his eyebrows, "Then, who did it?"

Balthazar threw his arms in the air, "Hell, if I know! Why don't you ask the dicks who actually did it?"

"They're not talking, just lying and saying it was a hate crime."

Balthazar gave him a pointed look, "Then, _make_ them talk."

_**DIVIDER**_

A month later and Dean's cast was finally off and he was mobile again. He thanked God for being released from paperwork. It had to have been the most excruciatingly boring job he had ever had. He, also, got to go back to driving his Baby. He appreciated Cas driving him around, but the Impala was so much better than that pimp mobile Cas drove. One thing he did miss, though, was the excuse to be around Cas all hours of the day and staying at his apartment. He had gotten into the routine, though, of still sleeping at Cas's, when it was late and he didn't want to drive back to his place. Which happened a lot and had nothing to do with the fact that Dean just didn't want to go back to his lonely apartment.

Dean was laying under a 1972 Chevy Camaro, feeling completely in his element, when Jo cornered him. She had always been a good friend of the family, and was really family herself, and a couple years ago had started working with him at Bobby's.

"So," she said beside him working on a car in the empty garage, "You and Cas, huh?"

Dean was so surprised he almost dropped the wrench onto his face, "What?"

He heard her sigh at his dramatics, "My mom told me."

"And how does she know?" Dean asked, because this lie was starting to get a little out of hand was becoming an understatement.

"Your mom," she answered simply.

When Dean didn't respond any further than, "Oh," Jo groaned, "So? Come on, Dean!"

"So, what?"

"Isn't this a big deal?"

Yeah, in Dean's mind, it kind of was, well if it were real. But he couldn't imagine why it mattered to anyone else. "Why do you care?"

Jo pulled Dean by his legs out from under the muscle car and gave him an annoyed look, "_Because_ you two have been in love with each other for _years_. Your family and friends were about to die from all the unresolved sexual tension."

Dean felt his cheeks redden and he pushed himself back under the car, "I don't know what you're talking about. We just got together a few months ago."

Jo laughed and Dean heard her boots walk back to her own car, "Yeah, sure, like you two haven't been dancing around each other forever."

Dean gave in, because if he knew Jo, he knew she wouldn't shuttup without him giving her something, "Okay, maybe I've liked him for a while, but we - Cas - he didn't feel that way until...recently. I don't know what you mean by dancing."

Jo snorted, "Sure, he did."

Dean's heart skipped, but he tried to focus on his work and ignored her. There was only the sound of the metal clinking in the garage for a few minutes, before Jo asked softer than before, "Did you really not notice?"

"What?"

"Dean, are you always this slow? Or is it just when you're talking about feelings?" Dean could almost hear the smirk in he voice.

"You're slow," he retorted lamely.

Jo chuckled and then, said seriously, "The way he looked at you, the way he always edged closer to you, how protective he was of you."

"Protective?" Dean asked, because Jo was imagining things and he was sure that there wasn't an instance where she could have gotten that from.

"Yeah, don't you remember that frat party we went to a year or so ago? And Dick trying to start shit with you? And Cas stepping in front of you? It was so romantic, it was like it was straight out of a chick flick."

"Hey, don't ever compare my life to a chick flick," Dean worked slower on the car, remembering the party. He hadn't really thought much about it then, just that was what friends did for each other.

"Apologies," Jo said sarcastically, then went on, "Anyway, what I was trying to get at is that Cas has been in love with you probably since he met you and you're an idiot for never noticing it. Because it was obvious as hell to everyone else."

Dean lowered his hands from the car above him and thought about what Jo was saying. Cas in love with him? It was hard to belive Cas had such low standards. But it still made his stomach flip and a wide grin come to his face just thinking about it. Cas - he was just - well, Dean didn't even know where to begin, because any word wouldn't be enough. Cas's eye crinkling smile flashed through his mind and Dean felt his heart melt. He thought about blue eyes that made him feel at home. He thought about Cas's calloused but soft hands in his. Sleeping next to him, not even _with_ him, just beside him. It had been the best nights of his life, the best sleep he ever had, with Cas near, he had slept peacefully, and God knows that didn't happen often. Falling in love with Cas had been easy, but the other way around didn't make much sense to Dean.

"You deserve him, you know," Jo said so on spot that Dean wondered if had been thinking aloud.

When Dean didn't comment, she sighed, "Dean, ignore the self-hatred for once, and just - just let yourself have this. Let yourself have _happiness_."

Dean felt something catch in his throat, but he cleared it, "What's with all the mushy crap? Are we gonna paint each other's toenails?"

"Sure, if you want, but if you're thinking blue, I don't think it suits your skin tone," Jo replied.

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean drove down Yellow St. towards Cas's with what Jo had said bouncing around in his head. _Let yourself have this._ Dean didn't know why a part of him wanted to argue against her, but he tried to fight it down. Because what the hell? Why not? Why not be happy? There were reasons, he was sure, that he had told himself as to why he had held back his feelings, but he couldn't remember any of them. And if he did, well, the pros seemed to be outweighing the cons. Dean felt a small pit of excitement rising up, but like in Italy, he had no idea what he was going to do, no plan, just that he needed to see Cas.

The feeling soon drowned, though, when he was a few blocks away and saw it. Black thick curling smoke ripping through the evening sky. His throat closed up and he tried to remember how to breathe. His skin went cold and his heart stopped as a threatening image flashed through his mind.

No. _No._ It wasn't - it couldn't be. Dean was just overreacting. He told himself over and over _It's not Cas. It's not Cas._ He willed himself to believe it, but pressed more on the gas pedal, nonetheless.

Dean's anxiety didn't lessen as he got closer to Cas's and still hadn't passed the fire. He finally turned down Cas's street to find a dozen cars and firetrucks outside of Cas's apartment building. He could hear the fire crackling in his ears as it screamed from the third floor of the building, right where Cas's apartment would be. Dean tried to remember to breathe. _No._

Dean pulled over so fast, the tires screeched against the pavement, and he tumbled out of the car. He pushed through the dozens of people that were standing awe struck behind the line the firefighters had put up. He searched the crowd as he went, but Cas wasn't in sight. Dean's heart rate picked up. _Dammit._

When Dean reached the tape, he hoped over it, ignoring the man who yelled after him. He went straight for a man in a yellow jacket. He grabbed his arm and spun him around, "Is everyone out?"

The older man looked at him with worry etched into his wrinkles, "N-no, well, we're not sure. We evacuated everyone, but where the fire started - well, no one's come out, but we don't even know if anyone's even in there."

Dean's heart stopped, "Cas."

The man's tone turned urgent, "You know who's in there? Are you sure they're in there?"

"He - he," Dean tried to think, but he felt like he wasn't going to be sick, "He's supposed to be home. He wouldn't be anywhere else."

The man nodded and called over another firefighter, "Henricksen, there's someone still in there. At the origin."

Henricksen gave his boss wide eyes, "Sir, we can't go in there. It's about to collapse."

Dean grabbed the guy's coat in his fist, "What do you mean you can't go in there!? He's still in there! Isn't it your job to save him!?"

The older man pulled Dean off of the guy, "Sir, I'm sorry, but we have protocol. I can't send my men in there, when it's this risky."

"Well, I'm not gonna let him die. I don't care if I die trying, I'm going to get him out of there if it's the last thing I do," Dean's voice turned steady and serious.

Dean turned on his heels and sprinted toward the burning building with the firefighters chasing after him, trying to stop him. But once Dean was through the door, they stopped their pursuit. The first floor seemed unaffected besides the insane heat and the smoke coming down from the stairs. Dean shielded his face with his arm and climbed the stairs praying to whoever was listening that this wasn't a suicide mission.

When he finally reached the third floor, it was hell. Down the hall, he could see Cas's door swung open, and the charcoal smoke had filtered through the air. The fire had started to eat away at the surrounding walls and the ceiling was cracking. The fire was licking at the walls and climbing up them. The building was going to collapse at any moment. Dean's lungs burned and he kept his head low. The heat stung at his eyes as he tried to keep them open.

Cas's apartment had definitely been the center. When Dean trudged through the door, the extreme heat made him dizzy. He took off his jacket and held it to his mouth as he navigated around the furniture that was burning away and the floor that was about to give out.

"Cas!?" Dean called and his only response was a beam falling ten feet from him. In his jump away from it he cut his leg on a large piece of hardrock.

"Dammit," he muttered. He pressed his palm on the wound and came away with blood. He ignored the pain and carried on. He didn't need this right now. He needed to find Cas.

He ran toward Cas's bedroom door and wrapped the jacket around the knob, but it was stilll scalding hot. He finally broke through the door and saw papers flying through the air. The fire had struck through the ceiling and to the next floor. It had taken over half of the room already.

"Cas!?" Dean called panicked as he flinched away from the flames. There was still no response.

Then, he saw a small figure on the other side of the bed. He rushed toward it. It was Cas, passed out on the floor. Dean breathed a sigh of relief.

Dean picked him up into his arms as the flames swallowed the room around them, "Cas, wake up." He checked his pulse, it was still beating, but he was barely breathing.

Castiel didn't move and Dean shook him desperatley, "Cas, come on, please." He didn't think he had the strength to carry him out of there. He had to wake up.

Castiel stayed still in his arms, "No, no, no, Cas. Don't do this to me."

Tears burned at his eyes as he chocked on the smoke that was cloaking them, "Cas, _please_."

He ran his fingers through Cas's hair, "I need you, Cas. Please, wake up."

The ceiling collapsed onto the bed and Dean shielded Cas's limp body from the flying debris. The dying building around them creaked and moaned. Dean looked at the window above them that lead to the fire escape. He wasn't sure if he could carry Cas out of here, but damn him if wasn't going to try. He leaned Cas against the wall and tugged at the window. The metal scalded him and he recoiled. Dean looked around the room and grabbed the lamp from the bedside table. He banged it against the glass until it shattered and cleared away the shards as best he could.

Dean knelt beside Cas with his leg throbbing in protest. He picked Cas up into his arms and pushed him through the window as gently as he could without Cas getting cut by the broken glass. Cas's body fell to the floor of the escape and Dean winced hoping he hadn't hurt him somehow. Dean followed him through the window, scrapping his arm in his haste. The air outside was a relief and Dean breathed it in feeling his chest ache at the smoke that had burned his lungs.

Dean turned to Cas and saw him coughing. Dean quickly knelt beside him, "Cas?"

Cas slowly opened his eyes, coughing violently, "D-Dean?"

Dean grinned, "Yeah, it's your knight in shinning armor. Come on, can you stand up?"

Castiel gripped Dean's sleeve as Dean helped him up. Castiel breathed heavily and leaned onto Dean as he tried to stay upright. He threw his arm around Dean's shoulder.

Dean wrapped his arm around Cas's waist, "I got you."

They slowly made their way down the fire escape as the building threatened to collapse. Once on the ground, firefighters sprinted toward them and helped them get away from the burning building.

Castiel must have looked worse, because a medic took him out of Dean's arms and lead him to an ambulance. Dean breathed a sigh of relief and fell to the ground. He sat there and tried to get his breathing back to normal as he watched the flames crawl toward the sky and the firefighters battle against them.

After a minute the old firefighter that Dean had spoken to earlier walked over to him and offered him a water bottle. Dean chugged it in one go and said breathless, "Thank you."

"I've never seen anyone run into a burning building like that. You must have a death wish," the man gave Dean a curious gaze.

"Nah, no death wish" Dean shook his head and glanced at Cas sitting in the ambulance, "Just in love."

The man chuckled, "We do the damnedest things for love."

Dean grinned, "Yeah, I guess so."

_**DIVIDER**_

Another two hours later and the fire had died away along with half of the building. There was nothing left of Cas's apartment and after the night they had had, Cas didn't even want to go and see if there was anything to save.

Before driving Cas back to his apartment, they thanked the firefighters for all they had done with which they had responded with, "Just doing my job."

After they had both washed the ash and debris off, Cas sat on the side of Dean's bed staring at his feet. Dean walked in the room with a small med kit and got on his knees in front of Cas.

"Dean," Castiel protested, "It's not that bad. Barely, first degree."

Dean ignored him and applied the aloe verra gel to the small burn on Cas's thigh, then he wrapped it in gauze. Dean didn't move, though, and just stared at the gauze. It was like Dean had hit a brick wall in that second, the realization came so fast. He had almost lost _Cas_. He felt the blood in his veins run cold and his throat clamp up.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's waist and leaned his head against Cas's stomach. He let out a shaky breath, "_Never_ do that again."

Castiel looked at him in question, but Dean didn't meet his eyes as he spoke, "You scared the hell out of me. I didn't know if you were dead or alive. I wasn't even sure if you were in there or not. But I didn't want to take that chance.

They said that it was too dangerous to try and get you out, but I didn't care. I went. Cas, I couldn't lose you, too. I-I just couldn't. I didn't care what happened to me as long as I could save you. Whatever the risk, I'd have taken it."

"Dean," Castiel said softly and gently ran his fingers through Dean's hair, "you didn't lose me. I'm okay and you're okay. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Dean chuckled slightly, "That sounds familiar."

Castiel smiled, "I still meant it."

After a moment, Dean pulled away, "You hungry?"

"Just tired," Castiel shook his head.

Dean got up and turned off the lights, before climbing into the bed with Cas. They lied there in the dark for a minute and then Dean asked, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Dean. How about you? The medic looked at your leg, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be alright."

Dean's bed was smaller than Cas's was and Cas looked like he was about to fall off the edge. Dean chuckled, "Cas, you're going to fall off the bed. Come here."

Castiel scooted closer and Dean cradled him in his arms, before nervously asking, "This alright?"

Castiel sighed against Dean's chest, "Yes, Dean, it's _alright_."

Dean held him closer, still in shock that Cas almost _died_. He seemed so fragile now, like he could be taken away any minute. It rooted a fear in Dean that would probably never go away.

"Dean," Cas looked up at him under his eyelashes, "Thank you for saving my life."

Castiel had never looked more beautiful than in that moment. His eyes were a brilliant blue in the dark room and his smile was filled with an emotion that Dean wanted to never leave his face. He almost leaned in and kissed him. Almost.

Dean smiled back, "Anytime."

Jo's words ran through Dean's mind again. _Let yourself have this._ Dean was starting to think he was going to do just what she said.

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean woke up to the sound of his phone going off, the familiar AC/DC song breaking through his sleep. He drowsily grabbed it from his bedside table, "Hello?"

"Dean," his mother answered way too chipper for this early in the morning. Dean glanced at the clock, seven a.m.

There was a movement beside him - against him and he looked down to see Cas sleeping peacefully with his arm draped across Dean's chest. Why did mornings like this always get cut short?

Dean quieted his voice, "Mom, hold on," and eased away from Cas.

He closed the door with a soft click and walked to the kitchen, "Okay, I'm back. What's up?"

"Oh, I wasn't thinking. I didn't wake Castiel did I?" she asked.

"Nah," Dean chuckled, as he made coffee, "He'll sleep through anything."

"Good, then."

"So, is something wrong? Why are you calling so early?"

"I didn't mean to wake you up, but," Dean could hear the distress in her voice, "I was worried. I was watching the news this morning and they said the Grace Apartments burned down. That's where Castiel lives isn't it? Is he okay?"

"Yeah, besides a small burn on his leg, he's all good," Dean smiled at his mother's worry for Cas. It made him happy that his family had accepted Cas into the family so easily.

Mary sighed relieved, "What about you? Were you there?"

"I - ," Dean paused wondering if he should tell her or not, but she'd probably found out somehow, anyway, "Well, not when the fire started, but...when I got there, Cas hadn't made it out. So...I went in and got him."

Mary huffed, "Dean, that was reckless. You could've gotten hurt!"

"Mom, I'm fine and I don't regret it. If I hadn't gone in, Cas... he wouldn't be here right now," Dean's voice shook at the end at the thought, but he hoped his mom didn't notice.

Mary sighed, "Well, I'm glad you two are okay. Sometimes, I think if I had a cowardly son, I wouldn't have to worry so much, but then, that just wouldn't be you, now would it?"

Dean chuckled, "Nope, you know me; the reckless and the brave."

"Are you okay, though, Dean?"

"Yeah, Mom, I told you I didn't get hurt."

"I wasn't talking about that," Mary said seriously.

Dean paused opening the fridge at the implication, "Uh, it may have brought back some _memories_, but Cas stayed the night. I think he made it better without even knowing."

"I'm thankful for Castiel, then," Mary spoke fondly.

Dean smiled and then remembered something, "Hey, Mom, before you go, can I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Do you know that song But You're Mine by Sonny and Cher?"

"Yes," Mary said confused as to where this was going.

"What's it about?"

"Um," Mary still sounded confused, but thought for a minute and answered, "It's about loving someone who worries about whether other people will think they're good enough for you. But you don't care what others think and you love them anyway."

Dean grinned and chuckled at the irony. It had been so spot on as to what was going on at the time when he had heard the Italian version. Dean played with the idea that Cas had been trying to tell him what it meant, but Dean hadn't gotten the message.

"Why are you asking?" Mary asked curious.

"Oh, um, no reason," Dean said unconvincingly, but Mary let it go.

"Alright. Well, I'll talk to you later, honey. Give Castiel my love. I love you, bye," Mary hung up.

Dean set the phone on the counter. Then, made breakfast with a wide grin on his face the whole time.


	13. Nine-hundred and eighty

All of it. It was all gone. Every last possession Castiel had was gone. All of his clothes, all of his pictures, his laptop, _his coat_. Most of it, he could care less about losing, the materialistic objects. But the ones that held _memories_, he'd never be able to reproduce those. The pictures of his family and friends, every sketch pad he ever owned, all of his artwork. The lost of his art was taking a toll on him, but he tried to see the brighter side of things and ignore it.

Dean had invited him into his home with no questions asked. Fed him, gave him clothes, and a bed. Well, it was _Dean's_ bed, but that was beside the point. When he had asked how long he could stay Dean had gotten turned on him annoyed.

"Really, Cas? You think at some point, I'm just gonna kick you out of here?"

"Dean, I just don't want to intrude," Castiel said softly, already feeling like he was overstepping the boundaries.

Dean sighed, "Cas, I fly on a plane for you across the ocean, you put up with my ass for a month to take care of me, I risk my life to save you from a burning building, and you think you're _intruding_? I think our relationship's a little more solid than that, don't you think?"

Dean glanced at Cas with a charming smile that Castiel felt the need to return, "Okay, I see your point."

"Good," Dean grinned and then said, "Hey, come here."

Castiel walked over to him, feeling his stomach twist as he recalled the last time Dean said those words. Dean held out the spoon he had been stirring with and gently blew on it. Then, he held it out to Castiel, "Try this. I don't know if I added enough seasoning."

Castiel leaned forward and took a bite, his cheeks tinging pink. He looked up at Dean, who was inches away from him, "Yes, I think you may need more."

Dean got lost in Cas's eyes and took a shuddering breath, turning back to his cooking, "Alright."

After a minute he asked, "So, what's the insurance company saying? I mean it's already been a week."

Castiel leaned against the counter, "They've given me enough money to rent a new apartment and some clothes, but I've been looking and haven't found one available."

Dean cleared his throat and didn't meet Cas's eyes, "Well, don't worry about it. You can stay here as long as you want."

Castiel felt his heart warm, "Thank you, Dean."

Dean looked at him with something in his eyes that didn't let Castiel turn away. He smiled, "You don't have to thank me, Cas."

_**DIVIDER**_

"Dean?" Castiel breathed laying in bed as he stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't ignore it anymore.

Dean turned on his side so he could look at Cas in the dark room, "Yeah?"

Castiel didn't look at him, but kept his focus on the rotating blades of the fan, "I started drawing when I was sixteen, well seriously. I would stay after school in the art room everyday instead of going to piano lessons. I drew on anything I could get my hands on; margins of my notes, loose papers, the back of tests. One time, Anna found my math notes covered in mindless drawing and instead of getting mad like my mother did, she took me to the art museum that weekend. It was amazing. I fell even more in love with art. Afterwards, she bought me my first sketchpad and one of those art kits from Hobby Lobby, you know, the ones with everything in them. I think that was the day I decided screw it, screw my family's plans, I'm going to be an artist. And I've never looked back."

Dean waited quietly for Castiel to continue, sensing whatever he was saying wasn't over. Castiel turned to him, then, "Nine-hundred and seventy-nine."

"Nine-hundred and seventy-nine?" Dean repeated softly.

"I had nine-hundred and seventy-nine sketch pads along with twenty-four art pieces hanging in my apartment. I never threw one out. They were piled in my room, under my bed, on bookshelves, in the closets, inside cabinets," Castiel took a breath and choked out, "And now, _they're all gone_."

Castiel's eyes looked like they were about to spill over and Dean felt his heart clench. Without a word, he pulled Cas into his arms, who clung to him tightly. Dean gently rubbed Cas's back, soothing him as Castiel tried to not fall apart.

After a minute, Dean remembered something. He reached to his bedside table and patted around until he grasped it. He grinned, "Hey, Cas?"

Castiel pulled away from him with tear stained cheeks, "What?"

Dean held up the sketch pad, "Not all nine-hundred and seventy-nine were lost. We still got this one."

Castiel's mouth fell slightly as he took the pad in his hands. He flipped through the pages, though he possibly couldn't see the images in the dark. He let out a breath, before smiling back at Dean. He set it carefully on the bedside table and fell back into Dean's arms.

**_DIVIDER_**

"Hey, Cas," Dean walked into his bedroom to find Cas sitting on his bed looking through Dean's box of albums and Led Zepplin playing. He set the bags on the floor.

Castiel looked up, "Oh, welcome home, Dean."

Dean shrugged off his jacket and boots, then sat on the edge of the bed, "What are you doing?"

"I didn't know you had all these old records," Castiel shifted through the box.

"Oh, yeah," Dean chuckled, "My dad kept finding me searching through his, so he just gave them all to me."

Castiel glanced at the bags next to Dean's feet and squinted his eyes, "What are those?"

Dean stood up with a wide grin. "Okay, so I know how much you loved that coat, so," Dean pulled a long tan trench coat out of a bag and held it up for Cas.

Castiel took the coat from his hands, "It's almost the exact same."

Dean scratched the back of his neck, "Yeah, well, it was the closest I could find."

Dean handed the other bag to Cas without a word. Castiel immediately pulled out what was inside. He came out with a couple of sketch pads that resembled the kind he bought. He continued to find more and more in the bag, "Dean, how many did you buy?"

Dean shrugged, draping Cas's new coat on the nearby chair, "Oh, I don't know. Just ten or so."

"Dean," Castiel stared at him incredulous, "You didn't have to do this."

"I know, but I wanted to. You have to start on nine-hundred and eighty sometime, don't you?" Dean looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

Castiel grinned and got up off the bed, then pulled Dean into his arms. Dean instantly wrapped his arms around him without thought.

"Thank you," Castiel whispered into Dean's ear and damn, if that didn't send chills down his spine.

Dean breathed in Cas's scent. He smelled his own shampoo in Cas's hair and his body wash on Cas's skin. But somehow, Cas still smelled like _Cas_. Dean relaxed in Cas's arms and held him closely, before the hug, regretfully ended.

Castiel pulled away, "Oh, I have a meeting with an art curator tomorrow. I have to go and explain why my work will be late."

"You don't think she'll be mad, do you?"

"No, but she might still hire another artist who has work ready for her."

Dean put his hand on his shoulder, "You're a great artist, Cas. You're worth the wait. I think she'll see that, too."

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel leaned against the head of Dean's bed sketching in one of his new pads Dean had bought him as Dean searched through his closet for something for Cas to wear to his meeting.

Dean's back was to Castiel as he said, "As much as I like how good you look in my clothes, we should probably get you some of your own."

Castiel's pencil abruptly stopped. Did he hear that right? He looked at Dean, but he hadn't turned around and continued shifting through his closet. Castiel looked down at the shirt he was wearing. It was one of Dean's, Motley Crue. He didn't think he looked any more attractive in it than he did in his own clothes, but the words still made him feel warm inside. Then, there was the _we _and that just made Castiel feel happy for reasons he couldn't even put his finger on.

Dean almost slapped himself on the forehead for letting something like that slip out of his mouth. _Did he seriously just say that?_ Well, it wasn't like it wasn't true. Cas looked adorable walking around Dean's apartment in his old flannels and band tees that were too big on him. Also, how Dean's jeans hung just a little too loose around Cas's hips did things to Dean that he tried not to think about too much or else he wouldn't be able to stop. Dean remembered Cas reaching up to one of the cabinet's top shelves and just a small area of skin peaked out from his loose jeans. God, Dean had never thought he'd feel so aroused by _hip bones_ before.

Dean took a deep breath and tried to imagine of Sam in pigtails to beat his lust down. He grabbed one of the shirts that he had bought with Anna and turned around to Cas still drawing. He tossed the blue shirt to Cas, knowing he'd look great in it. Blue was his favorite color on him, it made his eyes look bluer than Dean thought was possible.

Castiel caught the shirt, but his mind seemed to be elsewhere as he stared at the fabric in his hands. He was thinking deeply about something and if his expression was anything to go by, it wasn't a fun thought.

Dean walked over to him concerned and sat in front of him, "Cas?"

Castiel's eyes looked scared as he looked up at Dean, "Dean, I think you've assumed something and are wrong."

Dean's heart hammered in his chest as he recalled what he had said minutes ago. Dean stuttered out, "W-What is that?"

"I-," Castiel glanced out the window, "I didn't start that fire."

Dean felt relief for a moment before what Cas said and what it meant came to the fore front of his mind. Dean hadn't really thought about the fire actually, not really wanting to remember it. "So, it wasn't an accident? Are you saying it was arson?"

Castiel nodded, "Dean, someone's after you - or us - I don't know. But after Italy and now a fire...whoever this is, they want you dead."

Dean sat down and rested his hand on Cas's thigh making Cas tear his eyes away from the window and back to him, "Cas, don't worry about it."

Castiel opened his mouth to protest, "But-"

Dean cupped Cas's face in his hands, "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. I promise."

Castiel wrapped his hands around Dean's and spoke quietly, "It's not me I'm worried about."

Dean gave him a soft smile, "I won't let anything happen to me either. How about that?"

Castiel rolled his eyes, "Dean, you're just a man. You have no control over that."

Dean chuckled, "Yeah, but I'm not like any other man."

Castiel gave Dean the smile he had been aiming for and Dean winked at him, before getting off the bed, "I'm going to shower. I'm covered in oil."

Castiel went back to his sketch, thinking of nothing but freckles, green eyes, and warm hands. Though, his worry still nagged at the back of his mind, he tried to listen to Dean and ignore it.

_**DIVIDER**_

It was late in the evening and Castiel was walking from the parking lot to Dean's apartment, when he heard it. Heavy footsteps. He turned around, but no one was there, which was even more unsettling. He continued walking picking up his pace slightly.

But the footsteps didn't stop and began to match his pace. Castiel spun around again. No one. Castiel walked even faster and now, with the footsteps was the sound of someone breathing right behind him. He was almost to the lobby doors, when an arm slung around his shoulders. Castiel looked up and saw a tall lean man with a creepy smile on his face.

Castiel shrugged off the arm fiercely and asked bitterly, "Can I help you with something?"

The man leered, "Yeah, baby, how about you come back to my place and do just that,"

Castiel made a disgusted face, "How about no," and started walking again.

"Come on," the man grabbed Castiel's coat and tugged him back, "We'll have lots of fun."

Castiel jerked his arm away, "No. Leave me alone."

The man's leer dropped and he grabbed Castiel's wrist, "Actually, pretty boy, I don't think I will. I think I'm going to take you home and tie you up real nice and tight to my bed and I'll-"

The man was thrown against the side of the building with a loud thud, suddenly, and Castiel was feet away from him. Castiel had been pushed away so fast, he almost got whiplash.

Dean had his fist in the man's shirt, pressing him against the wall. He looked menacingly at him, "Finish that sentence and you're going to wish you had taken a different route home today."

The man laughed, "Oh, really?"

Dean slammed him against the wall and glared, "Yeah, _really_."

"And who are you supposed to be? Huh?"

"I'm the guy you're going to wish you had never met."

Castiel wanted to pull Dean away before he did something stupid, but he didn't know how to go about doing that. He hadn't ever seen Dean like this before. He looked down right deadly as he pinned that man against the wall so easily. Castiel didn't feel any fear, though. He just didn't want Dean to go too far, because he knew what would become of the man if he did.

Castiel stepped toward Dean, "Dean, let's just go home."

The man raised his eyebrows," Oh, I get it. You're fucking him, aren't you? Yeah, you are. So, what's it like, huh? He looks so conservative, but I bet he's a tiger in the sack, huh? A complete _animal_. I bet he's the top, right? I bet he -"

Dean punched him right in the jaw and blood dripped from the man's mouth as he fell to the ground. Dean grabbed him by the shirt and brought him back up.

"I thought I made it clear to shut the fuck up, you douchebag," Dean slammed him against the wall again harder than before. Castiel wouldv've been surprised if the guy didn't have a concussion. But the man only smiled through the blood. Dean looked at him in disgust, _what a sick bastard_.

"Dean," Castiel put his hand on Dean's shoulder and Dean's tension eased, "He's not worth the time. Let's go home."

Dean loosened his grip and the man fell to the ground, "I better not see you around here again."

Dean stepped away from him with Cas's arm wrapped around his. With one last glare, Dean turned with Cas down the sidewalk.

The man called out, "Yeah, that's right, bitch! Run along home!"

Dean's jaw lock and every nerve in him was telling him to go beat the shit out of that guy, but Cas's touch stopped him. Cas snaked his hand in Dean's and Dean instantly calmed.

_**DIVIDER**_

They didn't say a word once they were inside the apartment. Castiel shrugged off his coat and watched Dean carefully, but he just went for a beer in the fridge. Castiel looked at him worriedly, "Does your hand hurt?"

Dean looked down at his hand, flexing his fingers, "Nah, I'll be fine."

Castiel leaned against the counter, "You know, I could've fought that guy off myself."

Dean copied his posture next to him and shrugged, "Yeah, I know, I just...wasn't thinking. Sorry, I guess, I - "

"No," Castiel cut him off, "don't apologize, Dean. Thank you for, uh, doing what you did."

"Sure thing, Cas," Dean smiled at him.

Castiel returned the smile and walked over to the fridge. He opened it and sighed at the emptiness. Dean brightened next to him with an idea, "Hey, why don't we go get a few drinks and figure out dinner later?"

Castiel grinned, "Sounds good to me."

_**DIVIDER**_

Castiel internally groaned for what felt like the fiftieth time that night as he took another drink of whatever alcoholic beverage Dean had ordered him. Whatever it was, in his opinion, it wasn't strong enough.

He glanced over at the beautiful brunette that hadn't left Dean's side since they entered the bar. She had been chatting and flirting with Dean all night. Her name was _Lisa_. Dean had tried to hint that he didn't want to talk to her, but she hadn't gotten the picture and Dean was too kind to tell her outright.

Castiel knew he shouldn't be as annoyed as he was, because he knew how hard it was to _not_ be attracted to Dean Winchester, but he couldn't help it. He tried not to show it, though, as Dean tried to include him in their conversation, but ultimatley failed as the woman stole his attention back to her, wanting Dean _all to herself_.

She rested her hand on Dean's arm and Castiel took another drink to ignore the tightness in his chest. "So," she leaned closer to Dean, "do you know how to play pool?"

Dean nodded, taking a swig from his beer. Lisa looked over at the pool tables, "I've never played before. Do you think you could teach me?"

"Uh," Dean gave her an unsure look and glanced at Cas. She rolled her eyes, but Dean didn't notice.

Castiel put on a smile, "Go ahead. I'll be fine."

Before Dean could respond the sultry brunette grabbed his arm, "See, he's fine. Maybe he'll be able to pick someone up without us here, anyway." She tugged him away and Castiel didn't see the frown on Dean's face at her words.

Castiel sighed and asked the bartender to give him a refill.

**_DIVIDER_**

After Dean had taught Lisa the game, he had gotten himself roped into a game with some of the guys while Lisa watched nearby. Castiel tried to ignore them and watch the football game above the bar, but it wasn't a good distraction as Castiel had never really been into sports.

Castiel was ordering another drink, when a small woman with big blue eyes came up to him, "Is this seat taken?"

Castiel gave her a kind smile, "No."

She ordered a gin and glanced at Castiel, "You don't seem like much of a drinker."

"I'm not really. I'm here with a friend and he is," Castiel looked over at Dean before turning back to her.

"Oh, makes sense," she took a drink.

Castiel looked at her curiously. She seemed out of place in the rundown bar. She had a short haircut with brown ringlets and curved bangs. She had a light gray sweater on over a white button up with gray slacks and black heels.

"What about you?" He asked.

She looked up at him and put her drink down, "I had a, uh, let's say a _bad day at work_. I've heard drinking relieves the stress, so here I am."

"I think it takes a lot of liquor to forget your troubles, at least entirely," Castiel told her.

She looked distastefully at her glass, "I guess alcohol just isn't what I'm looking for, then."

Castiel chuckled, glancing at his own drink that hadn't made him feel any better, "I'd have to agree."

She smiled at him and then held out her hand, "I'm Hannah."

He shook it, "Castiel."

She raised her eyebrows, "The angel?"

"No, just named after him."

Before Hannah could respond, there was a loud cheer from the pool tables. They glanced over and saw Lisa tug excitedly on Dean's sleeve after he had made a good shot that had the other guys groaning. Castiel's smile fell as he turned back to Hannah and he tried to shrug the horrible feeling off.

Hannah glanced between the pool table and Castiel, "So, I take it, this wasn't the night you had planned for?"

Castiel gave her a small smile, "Not really."

Hannah stared at him for a minute, considering something, then stood up and pulled out a few bills from her wallet, laying them on the bar, "Hey, wanna get out of here?"

Castiel looked at her surprised, "Uh, Hannah, I'm sorry if I led you on or anything, but I'm not interested in women."

She smiled, "I know," and looked over to where Dean was standing. Castiel glanced at him and back at her. She gave him a knowing look and jerked her head to the door as she grabbed her suit jacket from the bar stool, "So?"

Castiel gave one last look to Lisa invading Dean's personal space and decided he didn't want to watch anymore, before standing up and following Hannah out of the shabby bar.


	14. Something great

"Did you have a place in mind?" Castiel asked Hannah as they walked down the sidewalk.

She shrugged nonchalant, "No, not really."

Castiel looked over his shoulder at the bar's parking lot, "What about your car?"

"Oh, it's at home. I don't drive unless I have to. I find cars _confining_. I prefer to walk."

Castiel chuckled, "Confining?"

Hannah smiled, "I don't know how to explain it. Walking is just more _open_. Like you actually get to see the world around you and aren't stuck in a car just focused on the task of driving. You miss out on a lot that way."

"That's very insightful," Castiel told her as they rounded the corner.

They walked in peaceful silence for a moment before Castiel asked her, "Why did you ask me to leave with you?"

She didn't look at him as she answered with a smile playing on her lips, "Castiel, you seem like a good man. Now, I may be mistaken and you're about to kidnap me and sell me to some drug lords or something, but I'm usually right about people, so I'm not worried."

"Well, yes, you're not mistaken, but I don't know what I could offer you. Like I told you earlier, I'm -"

Hannah cut him off, "I don't want anything from you, Castiel. I just wanted to give you something."

Castiel tilted his head at her, "What?"

"An escape," Hannah answered and walked off toward the park across the street. Castiel followed behind her. She sat down on a bench and breathed in the night air.

Castiel sat beside her, still confused, "An escape?"

She raised her eyebrows at him and Castiel understood what she meant, "But why would you do that for me? You don't even know me."

"Like I said, Castiel, you're a good man. I can tell. You wouldn't have walked out of that bar on your own, I had to give you the opportunity."

Castiel stared at her in disbelief. He had never met anyone like her. She had sensed his emotions and understood them within minutes of meeting him. Either she was amazingly perceptive or Castiel had been painfully obvious.

Castiel looked around them in the park with a few lights that barely lit the pathway, "Do you do this often? Stroll through the city at midnight and sit on park benches in the dark?"

Hannah shrugged beside him, "I don't let a clock stop me from going wherever my feet want to take me."

"That's very dangerous."

She turned to him with a smirk, "If life didn't have any danger, then it would be very boring and not very much of a life worth living."

Castiel looked at couple that was walking down the path, hand in hand, "You have a risky way of thinking."

Hannah gave him a serious look, "You should learn to take risk, Castiel, or else you'll be left wondering what you could've had if you did."

Castiel felt that she was referring to something specific and she confirmed it when she said, "I'm guessing he doesn't know."

Castiel sighed, "No."

"Will you ever tell him?"

The question had been running through his mind for weeks and he still hadn't found the answer, "I don't know."

Hannah jumped off the bench and turned to him with a grin, "I think you should tell him."

"Why?" Castiel stood up and walked beside her as they strolled down the path.

"Why not?" She countered.

"Because what if it ruined our relationship? What if he doesn't want it? What if we couldn't even stay friends after? I can't lose him, Hannah."

"But what if it _didn't_? What if he _does_ want it? What if it turned into something _great_?" Hannah argued, spreading her arms dramatically to the world around them.

Castiel felt himself go warm at her words, but the negativity he had trouble beating down chilled him. As they crossed the street, he spoke quietly, "I think the cons outweigh the pros."

Hannah sighed beside him, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, "That's because you're not giving the pros the time of day."

Castiel didn't respond, because he knew she was right. She looked up at the building next to them, "Well, this is my stop. Do you live far? I could drive you home if you want."

Castiel raised his eyebrows, "I thought cars were confining."

She chuckled, "You're worth the discomfort."

Castiel smiled at her, "I appreciate it, but I think I'll walk. I wouldn't want to miss out on anything."

"You really wouldn't, Castiel," She told him with a double meaning. She pulled out her phone and handed it to him, "Here, put your number in and next time you need an escape just say the word."

Castiel took the phone and did as she was told. He gave it back and she sent off a text to his phone, "There's my number."

Hannah walked away and when she put her hand on the lobby doors, Castiel called out to her, "Thank you, Hannah."

She smiled, "Just remember to not let things pass you by, Castiel, and to take notice of the world around you." With one last wave goodbye, she walked into the building. Castiel pulled out his phone to save her number, but it had died at some point in the evening.

_**DIVIDER**_

Dean was pacing the living room, when Castiel walked in. Dean turned on him immediately, "Dude, what the hell!? Where did you go? I turned away for one minute and then you're gone. I thought you went home, but you weren't here. Where'd the hell you go?"

Castiel threw his trenchcoat on the couch, "I didn't think you'd notice."

"What?" Dean gave him an incredulous look.

Castiel felt his defenses go up at Dean's tone, "Well, you seem pretty preoccupied to me."

Dean looked at him confused, "What - you mean _Lisa_? I was just talking to her, Cas. I wasn't even into her. I- "

Castiel cut him off, "Well, why not?"

"What?"

Castiel knew he was being ridiculous and letting his jealousy get the best of him, but he couldn't stop. The words were just pouring out of his mouth. He tried to remember everything Dean had done for him, how much he had proven to him about their relationship and how he felt without actually saying it. But his mind was was tainting the memories with a crude paint, turning them into something else, telling Castiel they didn't mean what he wanted them to mean. Telling him Dean didn't want him and if Dean just proved it and slept with someone else, it'd be better. Castiel wouldn't have to hold onto a hope that was never going to be filled. "Why didn't you go ahead and sleep with her? She seemed way more than willing."

Dean's expression looked hurt, but then it turned to anger, "Maybe, I just didn't _want_ to. What about that, huh, Cas? I told you I didn't want to be the guy who sleeps around with everyone, anymore, just to wake up to an empty bed in the morning. You know you give me a lot of shit about trust, Cas, but what about you?"

"What about me?" Castiel repeated feeling his head go foggy with all of the emotions that were clouding it. He didn't know why he was arguing with Dean, why he was provoking him, he just wanted to stop everything. He wanted the confusion gone. The hurt gone. The uncertainty gone. The jealousy gone. Gone, gone, _gone_. He was tired of not knowing what Dean was thinking, what he was feeling. He didn't want to assume something and wake up one day and realize he had been wrong the whole time. He wanted it all _settled_. He couldn't take it anymore.

Dean waved his arms in the air desperately, "What _happened_? Where did you go? You've been gone for like two hours. God, Cas, I was worried sick! You just got assaulted and someone tried to roast you alive! I've had the most horrible scenarios running through my mind. How could you do that to me?"

"Why do you even care!?" Castiel snapped, wanting for Dean to just confirm his negative thoughts, so it'd be over.

"Because I'm in love with you!" Dean shouted back throwing his arms. His hard expression broke and he let out a sharp breath. His arms fell to his sides all of the anger having left his body in that last sentence. He stared at Cas for a response, but Castiel just stared at him back his jaw slightly dropped as he felt his heart stop. Dean looked to the side and chuckled to himself, running a hand through his hair, "You're so dense."

He turned back to Castiel, who still hadn't moved a muscle. He dragged a hand down his face and sighed. He met Castiel's eyes and just felt everything let go, "Cas, this is real for me. It's not fake, it never was. I - I love you, Cas. Do you have any idea what you do to me? I think about you all the time. About your smile, about your blue as the fucking sky eyes, about your laugh, about your fucking _hipbones_ for Chist sakes. I spend all day just waiting to come home and crawl into bed with you, just so I could feel you next to me.

When I thought you might've - might've died in that fire, I fucking lost it. I told you I didn't care what happened to me and I meant it. I didn't care if I died. I still don't. I'd take a bullet for you in a heartbeat. Because if I lost you, I don't know what I'd do. I wouldn't be the same. I don't think I could ever feel how you make me feel again. I could never fall for someone else, not like this. Cas, this is the realest thing I've ever had and it's not going to happen again. I love you, so don't you _ever_ ask me why I _care_ again."

Castiel stared back at Dean in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. The words bounced around in his head and Castiel was frozen, unable to catch any of them. But the paint dripped away and every touch, every smile, ever word Dean had ever said to him flashed through his mind. The cruel thoughts that had plagued his mind went silent and all he could hear was his heartbeat drumming in his ears. It was so loud, he'd bet Dean could hear it. He remembered Hannah's words and thought out loud, barely audible, "_Something great._"

Dean's voice shook nervously, "What?"

Castiel took a few breaths, his pulse pounding so violently he thought he'd collapse. Once he found his voice, he responded in a rough voice, "Dean, I'm in love with you, too."

Dean stared at him for a second processing and then in a quick stride he crossed the room to Castiel. He grabbed Castiel's face in his hands and pulled it toward his, crashing their lips together. It was hard and passionate as both men gave everything they had been holding back into that kiss. Castiel wrapped an arm around Dean's waist while the other snaked around Dean's neck to the back of his head. He pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together as he sucked on Dean's bottom lip, desperate to feel even more of Dean than he already was. Dean moaned into his mouth and moved a hand to tangle in Castiel's hair, which sent a wave of lust through Castiel and all he wanted was to hear that sound again. His tongue traced Dean's lips before delving into his mouth. He could taste the whiskey on Dean's breath and smell the scent of leather and oil off of Dean's skin.

Their lungs forced them to break away, breathless and panting. Dean leaned his forehead against Castiel's with his eyes still closed. Castiel could feel Dean's hot breath against his face as Dean sighed, "Castiel."

Castiel didn't know what it was about Dean saying his full name instead of the short, Cas, but whatever it was, it sent Castiel over the edge. He claimed Dean's lips again and this time the kiss was less forced, still hungry, but slower. Dean's hand slid to the bottom of Castiel's back and under his shirt. The warmth from Dean's hand felt like electricity and Castiel craved more of it, more skin. He brought his hands to Dean's waist and tugged at the hem of Dean's shirt. Dean got the message and took off his shirt in one fluid movement and then got rid of Castiel's as well.

Castiel stepped backwards and his legs hit the couch. He fell backwards, dragging Dean on top of him. Dean straddled Castiel's hips and Castiel felt a tightness in his jeans. Dean's lips left Castiel's mouth and moved to his neck as he left sloppy kisses down his neck to his collar bone.

Dean could feel Cas's pounding pulse where his lips touched and the heat of his skin. Cas's skin wasn't tan like Dean's was. It was paler, but all the more flawless. Dean could see the muscles etched under Castiel's skin and he thought he had never seen anyone more beautiful. His kisses trailed down Cas's bare chest and it was amazing to feel Cas's body breathing against him. It reminded him that this was _real_, that this was _happening_ and it wasn't some dream that would leave him painfully hard in the morning.

After he passed Castiel's naval, he reached the dip into his jeans. He paused, hundreds of one night stands flashing through his mind. He sighed heavily and pressed his head against Castiel's stomach, whispering, "I can't fuck this up. Not with you."

"Dean?" Castiel asked worriedly in a deep lust filled voice.

Dean looked at him with tortured eyes, "Cas, you're different. You're not just someone I'm going to sleep with and then forget your name the next day. I - I don't want to fuck this up."

Castiel massaged the back of Dean's head and spoke comfortingly, "You won't, Dean."

"You don't know that," Dean chuckled humorlessly.

"Maybe not," Castiel pulled Dean down for a soft kiss, "But I'm willing to take the risk."

_**DIVIDER**_

"How long?" Castiel asked against Dean's bare chest, his fingers tracing the strange tattoo under his collar bone. They were lying in bed, entangled in each other. They stripped their jeans, but didn't bother with putting their shirts back on.

Dean sighed beneath him, "Oh, I don't know, Cas. I think it was always there, but I just didn't know what it was. You?"

Castiel snuggled into the crook of Dean's neck, "Same, probably since I first met you."

Dean laughed, "That's what Jo said."

"Jo told you I was in love with you?" Castiel mumbled, his breath warm against Dean's neck.

"Yeah, but I didn't believe her," Dean admitted.

Castiel frowned and crossed his arms on Dean's chest, resting his chin on them, "And why do you think that's so absurd?"

"It just is, Cas. You know me better than anyone. You've seen all my faults and mistakes, yet you still stay. It's just hard to believe," Dean rested his hand on Castiel's cheek and Castiel leaned into it like a cat.

"Dean, loving someone isn't being able to ignore their flaws, it's loving those, too. I don't expect you to not have any flaws, nor would I ever fault you for it. God, knows I have my flaws as well."

Dean smiled at him, "You're amazing, you know that?"

Castiel smirked, "I've been told."

Dean rolled his eyes and leaned forward to give Castiel a kiss. Castiel maneuvered himself comfortably back into Dean's neck and Dean wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.

Within a minute, Castiel's breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep. Dean sighed in content, thinking there was no place he'd rather be than wrapped around Castiel. He'd slept with plenty of people, but nothing compared to actually falling asleep with Castiel in his arms.

_**DIVIDER**_

"Hanno tentato _omicidio_ e che sono stati _rilasciati_?" Michael glared at the officer, who stepped back intimidated by the Novak.

"Bene, onorevole, non c'è nessuna prova si è tentato omicidio. Abbiamo dovuto file sotto assalto. Ma non preoccupatevi, abbiamo caricato come avete richiesto."

"Ma chi ha ordinato l'attacco è ancora molto presente e bruciate l'appartamento di mio fratellino!" Michael argued, his voice raising in the small Italian police department.

"Non abbiamo le prove, è stata programmata. Hanno anche ammesso di essere un hate crime."

"Stessero mentendo! Dean non riconosce alcuna delle insulti razzisti gli ufficiali riferirono. Egli avrebbe se fosse stato un hate crime, ma è ovvio che non lo era."

"Il Sig. Winchester non può essere considerato un testimone attendibile poiché egli si è gravemente ferito al momento e che avrebbe potuto essere delusionale."

"Che fesseria!" Michael yelled and the whole department went silent. Two other officers walked over behind the one he was arguing with.

The man turned to him with a hard look, "Il Sig. Novak, però, mi dispiace per il tuo fratello, ma la polizia italiana non può essere prevista per il caso."

"Esse sono tuttavia connesse! Qualcuno ha un rancore contro Dean e ora mio fratello è stato attaccato!"

The two officers stepped toward Michael and he glared at their advance. The head officer gestured to the officers, "Il Sig. Novak, non vedo alcun motivo per continuare a essere qui. Il caso è risolto. Ora, lasciare o sarete condotti."

An officer grasped Michael's arm and he jerked it away, "_Va bene._ Grazie per il vostro tempo, _ufficiale_."

Michael stepped into the crowded streets of Florence, running a hand through his hair, wondering if they would ever figure this out and be able to go back to their lives.

**_DIVIDER_**

"He survived!? He was your only target! How could you fail such a simple task?" The man yelled, venom dripping from his voice.

The blonde examined her freshly painted her nails, unbothered, "Well, your stupid _pet_ ruined everything. Went in and got the bastard out. There wasn't anything I could do. I couldn't just add more oil to the fire and let the bitch burn as well. I thought it'd upset you and make the whole fiasco pointless."

The man pinched the bridge of his nose, "Well, yes, that was a wise choice."

"I also, got the three in Florence released. They're downstairs awaiting your verdict."

He nodded, "Well, done."

She yawned bored, "May I go now? Or do you want me to make another attempt?"

He waved his hand, "No, just go. But as you've at least took one thing off my to do list, you may deal with the imbeciles downstairs."

She looked up, "I can do whatever I want? Punish them as I'd like?"

He nodded again, a smirk on his lips at her eagerness.

She smiled wickedly, "Thank you, sir," before walking towards the doors.

He stopped her, "Oh, and one more thing."

She turned around, "Sir?"

He looked at her with eyes that she was sure were demonic, "Speak of Dean Winchester like that again and I'll do far worse than you could _ever_ do to the playthings downstairs."

She gulped, not daring to leave his gaze, "Of course, sir. Forgive me."

He nodded her dismissal and she walked through the heavy doors with shaking legs.

He sighed looking out the window, "Well, it goes without saying, if you want something done right, do it yourself."

**Authors's Note:**

**TN**: Hanno tentato omicidio e che sono stati rilasciati? - They attempted murder and they've been released?  
Bene, onorevole, non c'è nessuna prova si è tentato omicidio. Abbiamo dovuto file sotto assalto. Ma non preoccupatevi, abbiamo caricato come avete richiesto. - Well, sir, there is no proof it was attempted murder. We had to file it under assault. But don't worry, we have charged them like you've asked us to.  
Ma chi ha ordinato l'attacco è ancora molto presente e bruciate l'appartamento di mio fratellino! - But whoever ordered the attack is still out there and burned down my little brother's apartment!  
Non abbiamo le prove, è stata programmata. Hanno anche ammesso di essere un hate crime. - We have no proof it was planned. They've admitted it was a hate crime.  
Stessero mentendo! Dean non riconosce alcuna delle insulti razzisti gli ufficiali riferirono. Egli avrebbe se fosse stato un hate crime, ma è ovvio che non lo era. - They were lying! Dean didn't recognize any of the racial slurs the officers told him. He would have if it was a hate crime, but It obviously wasn't.  
Il Sig. Winchester non può essere considerato un testimone attendibile poiché egli si è gravemente ferito al momento e che avrebbe potuto essere delusionale. - Mr. Winchester can't be considered a reliable witness since he was severely injured at the time and could have been delusional.  
Che fesseria! - That's bullshit! (or something similar)  
Il Sig. Novak, però, mi dispiace per il tuo fratello, ma la polizia italiana non può essere prevista per il caso. - Mr. Novak, though, I am sorry about your brother's apartment, but the Italian police force can't be expected to take on the case.  
Esse sono tuttavia connesse! Qualcuno ha un rancore contro Dean e ora mio fratello è stato attaccato! - But they're connected! Someone has a grudge against Dean and now my brother is being attacked as well!  
Il Sig. Novak, non vedo alcun motivo per continuare a essere qui. Il caso è risolto. Ora, lasciare o sarete condotti. - Mr. Novak, I see no reason for you to continue to be here. The case is settled. Now, leave or you will be escorted out.  
Va bene. Grazie per il vostro tempo, ufficiale. - Alright. Thank you for your time, officer.

Please remember, my Italian may be wrong and there are probably mistakes. So, my lovely Italian readers, if something's wrong, call me out and I'll gladly fix it. :)


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